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difficult child came over to talk
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 470717"><p>Nancy and all, </p><p></p><p>The reality is that unplanned pregnancy is very difficult and all the options can be gut wrenching, life changing, and very hard to deal with. There is no one right or wrong answer to this dilemma. I think what is important here is that your difficult child made this decision herself, was not coerced or pressured in any direction. She is the one who has to live with whatever decision she makes and so it is best if she is the one who makes it.</p><p></p><p>And yes adoption has its own difficulites both for birthmothers, and for the adoptees. I am thankful I got the chance to adopt my two kids... one one kid seems to have dealt with adoption issues just fine, and for my difficult child I think adoption is one big part of the puzzle that is him. </p><p></p><p>And raising a baby when someone is not ready can also lead to a whole host of pain for the child if they are not properly cared for, and for the parent who is not ready.</p><p></p><p>And yes of course there is a lot of pain around abortion as well...</p><p></p><p>There is no easy answer.</p><p></p><p>Nancy I am just so glad your daughter is talking to you about it AND that she is making her own decision. Once again you have my full and unreserved support in that.</p><p></p><p>And I also want to comment that I think it is easy for parents of younger children to think that as parents of older children we have some say in the decisons they make.... I think those of us in the trenches with kids who are young adults know from experience that just isn't true. I think that is one reason this separate forum is so important... becaues part of our journey is learning how to let go even if it means watching them fall in horrible ways.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 470717"] Nancy and all, The reality is that unplanned pregnancy is very difficult and all the options can be gut wrenching, life changing, and very hard to deal with. There is no one right or wrong answer to this dilemma. I think what is important here is that your difficult child made this decision herself, was not coerced or pressured in any direction. She is the one who has to live with whatever decision she makes and so it is best if she is the one who makes it. And yes adoption has its own difficulites both for birthmothers, and for the adoptees. I am thankful I got the chance to adopt my two kids... one one kid seems to have dealt with adoption issues just fine, and for my difficult child I think adoption is one big part of the puzzle that is him. And raising a baby when someone is not ready can also lead to a whole host of pain for the child if they are not properly cared for, and for the parent who is not ready. And yes of course there is a lot of pain around abortion as well... There is no easy answer. Nancy I am just so glad your daughter is talking to you about it AND that she is making her own decision. Once again you have my full and unreserved support in that. And I also want to comment that I think it is easy for parents of younger children to think that as parents of older children we have some say in the decisons they make.... I think those of us in the trenches with kids who are young adults know from experience that just isn't true. I think that is one reason this separate forum is so important... becaues part of our journey is learning how to let go even if it means watching them fall in horrible ways. TL TL [/QUOTE]
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