difficult child car accident and repair problem

[FlowerGarden]

difficult child got "asked" to leave our auto insurance coverage by our insurance company for having too many tickets and accidents. He got his own coverage for his vehicle under a different company. Well, difficult child side swipped someone and no longer has a car. I said he could use our oldest car while he looks for another so he could work. Well, difficult child was backing out of our driveway which is uphill to get to the road. He wound up backing into a friend's car. difficult child & the friend decided to not go through the insurance because he knew I was afraid I'd be told to leave the insurance company since he drove our car. This was over a week ago. The friend got an estimate and the estimate was $100 less than the friend was selling the truck for. So, difficult child said he would buy the truck from him.

The friend told my son he could buy the truck for $1000 more than he was originally asking. difficult child said no way and the friend was given a check made out to the repair shop that gave the estimate. Now the friend's father says he cannot accept a 3rd party check and the check has to be made out to the friend's father. I said no way. Then I said once the repair is done, we would go over on the day they were to pick it up and pay in cash then.

The father called me and said oh we just got the estimate for the sake of getting one for you, a buddy of mine is going to fix it. I said, ok just get me the receipts and bills and we would write the check out for it. Now the father decides he wants to go through the insurance company so he can get the money and do whatever he wants with the money.

I am livid. This father is a grownup difficult child! Now my husband is all upset because he is afraid of going through the insurance.
Anyone have any input or advice please.

 

[MuM_of_OCD_kiddo]

I think you've done all you can do there - time to get the insurance involved, unless you don't mind getting fleeced from the friend and his father [nice friends by the way].

Your son on the other hand - are you really sure you want him to drive a car? Obviously he is a safety hazard on the road and not mature enough to drive, nor appearantly has he learned anything new by accumulating tickets and having multiple accidents. How would you feel if he is driving one of your cars and getting in another accident, but this time killing someone with your [or even his] car? You do realize other than the guilt part, that you can be liable to a nice and hefty lawsuit in a case like this, right? I do not think he should be driving anything that goes faster than 35 m/h at this time. Put him on a bike to go to work or school, make him pay and catch up on his tickets and other damages he has caused, and other than that - let him learn to be more responsible via consequences of his actions...


Sorry if I sound mean - but kids like yours in cars scare the daylights out of me... 3 months ago I was almost mowed over by a young driver at a gas station when I was coming out of the convenience center - you should have seen this ole lady jump like a young goat over part of her hood [I didn't know I still could do that!!!]! She would have otherwise hit me frontally in the knees and then proceeded to run right over me. If I would have survived that, I may have never walked again and I need that for my business - lawsuit? You bet! And I am not a trigger happy person...

 

[keista]

I agree with Mum.

AND you shouldn't be the ones getting fleeced by the "friend", your difficult child should be. Just to get past this, you can front him the money, but he MUST pay you back and get caught up with anything that may still be outstanding. THEN he can save for his own car and his own insurance IF he can find another company to take him.

Pretty sure you've learned your lesson, but I will still give you a friendly reminder: Do NOT ever, ever, ever let him drive ANY of your vehicles ever again!

 

[FlowerGarden]

Thanks for telling me what I should be telling myself. His tickets have basically been for not wearing a seat belt, rolling through a stop sign, and yes, speeding although the police were parked on the opposite side of the road and were judging his speed by sight. I had never ever heard of judging speed by sight! He did get a ticket for possession of a controlled substance under the lowest amount. difficult child actually has the cops follow him all over town just to try to catch him doing something wrong. We actually had an officer we know apologize to us because he stopped difficult child for going too fast and difficult child pointed out to him that he (the officer) had the wrong speed limit! The speed limit was actually higher than the officer thought it was. He got pulled over for going through a stop sign in a parking lot. difficult child asked for the officer to point out the stop sign. Guess what? There wasn't a stop sign! Accidents were two his fault, one shared fault, and one not his fault. But no excuses, tickets are tickets. You are right!

Accidents were two his fault, one shared fault, and one not his fault. But again, accidents are accidents. He is footing the bill for the vehicle repairs. You are right, I should not let him use any of the vehicles again.
Thanks again for bringing me back to my senses!

 

[susiestar]

Regardless of who owns the car, this needs to go through difficult child's insurance. If he has no insurance, it will go to court and to your insurance. Your insurance may have to get involved as it was your car but the car didn't do this by itself. difficult child did it. In most states the driver has to have insurance and that is the primary insurance that is used. The owner's insurance is there to be used if the driver has no insurance or not enough.

Do NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT pay these people cash. They have usually two years to file a lawsuit against you and difficult child both. Most states have a two year statute on filing lawsuits over this. So for TWO YEARS they could hold it over your head. If it goes through the insurance then the ins co will handle it all. If it doesn't, and you pay them, they can STILL file a claim with insurance and say that you did not pay them, that the money you gave was for something else - even if on the check you write what it is for. IF you MUST pay them, make them sign a statement that this payment of X dollars is the sum total of liability for the accident and that they forfeit the right to file an insurance claim or lawsuit against you or difficult child, and that they get NO more money. It would be best to have an atty draw this up, but at the very least it should be notarized. I learned this the very hard way when someone rear-ended me for stopping at a stop sign (silly me, how crazy to stop at the sign!). A cop told me to go ahead and go up to the police station at the end of the block, so I did and the other car just drove away. (I later learned the cop was related to the driver who hit me). I was pregnant and had to have significant medical checkups to make sure Jess was okay. I worked for the same co that the driver's wife did, and I insisted on filing a claim. Imagine my shock almost 2 yrs later to learn that the other driver and his wife filed a lawsuit against me for the accident. The paperwork from the cop was NOT done right, and my ins co jumped all over them and their shyster lawyer and took it to the head of the police dept and internal affairs as corruption because the cop wrote the paperwork he gave me that I was hit by them, but put on their paperwork that I hit them. For some stupid reason I had a couple of disposable cameras that my dad had sent to Wiz and I had used them to take pics of the both cars, the cop, the other driver and the passengers, and of the license plates of witnesses along with having gotten their names. When a pregnant woman gets out of a car after an accident, people stop to make sure she is okay - esp as I was super shaky. So I had the evidence I needed to win a case. They forgot I had pictures and witnesses and contact info for witnesses when they decided to file. They thought that with the cop relative making the papers say that I hit them (how I would hit them by stopping at a stop sign I have NO idea) then the ins co would just send a check rather than hassle with them. Seems they had done this before, with different members of the family and the same cop always on duty around there. My ins agent (sister of childhood friend) told me that the ins co had been served three similar suits with the same car but different drivers and the same cop and the pics and papers that I had gotten from people iwth their info were exactly what was needed.

I don't know if your son's friend is in a group doing that, but it is super easy for them to just go to the police dept even days later and file a report and claim all sorts of things. By not having police respond and write it up there it becomes he said, she said, and so and so's doctor says it hurt them this bad. And then it is really HARD to handle.

So please, let the ins co sort it out. If you need to pay higher rates, then difficult child should pay at least part of that higher cost. But first HIS ins co should be handling it - because he has to have insurance.

I do agree that he should not be driving. While the cops may follow him, it could be highly likely that they do it because they know he drives while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If they can find him under the influence they can get him off the road and get everyone else a bit safer. My gfgbro ranted on and on about police persecution because they kept following him, but he is the worst driver I have EVER known. He likes to read books while he drives. He says he reads at red lights, but actually he used to read while driving down the road all the time. That is about the safest thing he would do! He is a bit better now that he has a daughter, at least when she is with him, but his insurance rates on a much older car are four times what husband and I pay combined. The police followed him at one point because he was such a vicious drunk and so dangerous even with-o a car that they honestly felt it was about the only way to keep people safe from his bad driving combined with his drunk driving. (the reading while driving was NOT done while drunk - that was a stone cold sober choice!).

You can at least figure your son is not the worst driver - not if his vehicle doesn't have guard rail burn on BOTH SIDES (guard rail burn is the term for the scrapes made on a car when it drives too close to the guard rail and rubs against it. How you get that on the driver's side I have NO interest in figuring out!)

Anyway, if you don't get the ins co involved then you are going to be open to a LOT of liability for a long two years.

 

[FlowerGarden]

susiestar, thank you for sharing what happened to you. It certainly does sound like something this friend & his father are capable of doing. This father does not work at all and the mother works part time at a school. They purchased a brand new vehicle recently. Maybe this is how they get there money to live nicely. So glad you took the time to reply.

 

[DammitJanet]

Your sons driving sounds like Cory..Cory lost his license initially for a seat belt ticket. No joke! He didnt pay the ticket, then didnt show up in court for that, got the bench warrant, yada yada. Many more tickets later for driving without a license, no insurance, no tags, fake tags, stolen tags...whatever...he will never have a license. He did eventually get his truck licensed and insured but the insurance is under someone elses name even though the car is titled and tagged under his name. We have a strange state.

But seriously....to lose your license for a seat belt ticket! Boggles the mind.