difficult child checked herself into the inpatient treatment center!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Kathy813, Sep 26, 2011.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    husband and I didn't really think that she would follow through but we got a call from the treatment center this morning telling us that she was there and that we needed to come get her car.

    I had asked difficult child to check to see if she was allowed to drive herself there and she said she checked and the answer was yes. Evidently, she didn't think to ask if she could keep the car there.

    So we have over an hour drive tonight to go get her car. Please keep your fingers crossed that this is the start of what I know will be a long process but at least she has taken the first baby step.

  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my gosh Kathy, that is great news! I will cross everything I can that this baby step is one of many to come. Not having her car there is a good thing.

  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Congratulations. Baby steps + her own decision = good thing.
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Her making the decision to do this is HUGE.

  5. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    That's good news! Hoping this is the first positive step of many to follow!
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Kathy, I am so delighted that she checked herself into the facility. That is a step forward and with my whole heart I am hoping that it is the first step toward sobriety and healthful living. As you know...I'm on your side and hope that the best results come about soon. Stay optimistic and yet keep yourself prepared. As our family knows it is a series of baby steps and hoping for the best but staying prepared for the worst is the mantra. Saying prayers. DDD
  7. Blondiesbf

    Blondiesbf New Member

    I am so happy for you! Fingers, toes, legs and arms crossed!!!

  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Great progress - and hopeful that we shall hear more updates moving in a positive direction. Hugs to difficult child and your family. Bandages for healing all around! Prayers gone -
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Wow, this is huge! Good for her!
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Pretzeling and praying hard.

  11. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Ditto to what has been said...a POSITIVE move on her part.
    Sorry that you have to travel the hour. Stuff us parents of these kids end up doing.
    But at least it is for goooood reason this time.
    Good, gooooood thoughts for her and your family Kathy.
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Even though it is inconvenient I think driving herself there was probably a wise choice. Taking the actual physical action to enroll herself is a step toward maturity. Being driven and dropped off "could" be seen as a sign that the young adult is dependent on parental support. I know it sounds a little bit strange but in my humble opinion driving there alone, checking herself into the facility alone probably signifies that she is trying to take responsibility for herself. Fingers crossed. DDD
  13. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Kathy, as well all know, wanting help and admitting they need it is the first step. The follow through of her going and driving herself is a big step. Yay ! Hopefully this will help turn things around for her.

  14. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is great news, Kathy. I pray this is the start of lasting change for your difficult child, and all of you.
  15. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, we have the car. I didn't realize that inpatient treatment patients ever left the facility but I now know they do. When we called and asked what time we could go by last evening to pick up the car, we were told that both units would not be there until 9:15. We got there at 9:15 but no one was there so we waited. A few minutes later up pulled a 15 passenger van and out came difficult child.

    She came over to the car while the nurse waited for her and asked us to buy her some cigarettes and give her some spending money. The center keeps the money for the patients and doles it out for things from the vending machine. We went to get her the cigarettes (although it kills me to buy her something that I know is bad for her but I figured she needed to work on one addiction at a time) and get some cash to leave as spending money.

    When we got back the nurse answered the bell at the door and I did not see difficult child again. She seemed emotionally on edge but I guess that is to be expected in these circumstances.

    Part of me wanted to bundle her up and put her in the car and go home but I knew that she was where she needed to be.

    Thanks for all of your support!

  16. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathy when difficult child was in inpatient treatment center patients left all the time. That's one of the reasons they did not want any cars there. However they still found ways to leave, even walk/run down the 9 mile road. Each Sunday when we went to family program day we briought her cigarettes and money for the vending machine. Almost every patient smoked there and although like you I hated to buy her cigarettes, we considered it the least of our/her problems.

    These first couple weeks are going to be very stressful for her and it's probably good that you have no contact during this phase. I'm surprised they let her leave the facility so soon, they are usually restricted the first 14 days. They told us it takes that long for the person to get everything out of their system and start to settle down and accept where they are.

    I am praying for you. I truly hope she accepts sobriety in her life.

  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm surprised they have the freedome to leave early on. The centers we had contact with limited leaving the site to go via van to AA meetings every day and that was it. Sending caring hopeful thoughts. DDD
  18. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, she didn't get to leave by herself. The entire "unit" went together. husband said that they said something about both units leaving the building to go to a meeting so it may have been an AA meeting.

    Nancy, I don't know if they have family visitation days since the inpatient part is only 30 days. difficult child had told them at the original screening that we (husband and I) didn't want to do family therapy which is not true. We just don't want to sit there while difficult child blames all of her problems on us. However, we don't mind meeting to discuss how we can be supportive for difficult child through this process without sacrificing our sanity. I guess we'll see if they contact us about coming in for a family meeting.

    For right now, there is peace in knowing where she is and that we have a hopefully drama free month ahead.
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You said it Kathy, enjoy the drama free month. FWIW we felt the very same way about family day and were very hesitant to go. It was not at all like we thought and they do not get to blame you for anything. It was very very intense and emotional and I'm glad we did it. Actually it is a chance for the family to tell the addict how their disease has affected the family and for the addict to listen without talking and absorb what they so long denied. We left there completely drained.

    When I listen to difficult child talk about her stay there now and how she claims it did not help her at all it makes me sad. We went through all that and she says for nothing? It did help us though because we were able to get out what we wanted to tell her for years. And I know she got it. Just because her first stay in rehab didn't stick does not mean she didn't benefit greatly from the initial process. Just like yours will. She will learn things and accept things for the first time, although she will resist. It takes a while before acceptance takes hold. And so while difficult child is still struggling she has accepted her addiction and real and understands sobriety is her only choice. Whether she accepts sobriety in her life for good is the real question..

  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We got an answer about family visits. difficult child called late this afternoon and asked if we were coming for family night tonight. She claimed that she had told us about it.

    difficult child just got there yesterday and we drove over 2 hours there and back last night to get her car. I'm sure one of us would have remembered if she had told us about it last night.

    So we couldn't go since I was at a doctor's appointment when she called and there was no way we could have made it across town in rush hour and gotten there in time with so little notice.

    husband thinks it was for the staff's benefit showing us as uncaring and enforcing her victim status. I hope that the staff can see through it.