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difficult child conflicting with sponsor
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 114266" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>I've been in that movie!</p><p></p><p>When Copper was a baby, like 2, and I had around 9-12 months sober, I knew that I was in no way ready to care for her yet. If ever at all. But certainly not yet. My sponsor, however, was riding me hard core. I didn't even have the bipolar or the borderline to deal with. I was just a drinking drugging difficult child. My sponsor would have pro & con lists, tell me how I needed to get out from under my mom's iron fist, blah blah blah. Now, I DID need to cut the ties with mom, but that had little to do with my sponsor, my addiction, or my daughter. that was an issue in and of itself, and it continues to this day (and my daughter is going to be 20!) </p><p></p><p>I think that your daughter's sponsor is looking at your daughter, the addict. Period. And if that were the only case, then yes, she would have an argument, given your daughter's age. But your daughter has a history and an illness that would prevent her from doing what her sponsor thinks she is capable of doing, at least in the timeframe that she thinks she can do it in. I think that your daughter might want to shop for a new sponsor if she does not feel comfortable letting this one know that these plans cannot be in the cards right now. Yes, she does need more responsibility, but it is not up to the sponsor (in this case) how much. It is what your daughter can handle. </p><p></p><p>Copper ended up living back and forth between my home & my mom's home all of her life. She was not a happy youth. I never bonded with her and was never able to be there for her, much like your difficult child is with her child. My heart aches for both of them. I hope that they can make a better go of things than I did with Copper.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 114266, member: 3647"] I've been in that movie! When Copper was a baby, like 2, and I had around 9-12 months sober, I knew that I was in no way ready to care for her yet. If ever at all. But certainly not yet. My sponsor, however, was riding me hard core. I didn't even have the bipolar or the borderline to deal with. I was just a drinking drugging difficult child. My sponsor would have pro & con lists, tell me how I needed to get out from under my mom's iron fist, blah blah blah. Now, I DID need to cut the ties with mom, but that had little to do with my sponsor, my addiction, or my daughter. that was an issue in and of itself, and it continues to this day (and my daughter is going to be 20!) I think that your daughter's sponsor is looking at your daughter, the addict. Period. And if that were the only case, then yes, she would have an argument, given your daughter's age. But your daughter has a history and an illness that would prevent her from doing what her sponsor thinks she is capable of doing, at least in the timeframe that she thinks she can do it in. I think that your daughter might want to shop for a new sponsor if she does not feel comfortable letting this one know that these plans cannot be in the cards right now. Yes, she does need more responsibility, but it is not up to the sponsor (in this case) how much. It is what your daughter can handle. Copper ended up living back and forth between my home & my mom's home all of her life. She was not a happy youth. I never bonded with her and was never able to be there for her, much like your difficult child is with her child. My heart aches for both of them. I hope that they can make a better go of things than I did with Copper. [/QUOTE]
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