difficult child Detention Question

[Adrift]

Hi, my son received his first detention yesterday. He dropped the "f bomb" as an answer to a math question. At the time it was anger directed toward his Dad. Dad saw it and said he would get in trouble at school if he left it there. Hence the detention. He apologized to the teacher. He has no consequences at home for this except a talking-to. Although we have said no sleepovers for a while because of this horrible negative attitude. How many of you would have given consequences at home as well? I am so sad that I have such a disrespectful son. He had this amazingly wonderful start to the school year (7th grade) and he is just spiraling downward quickly. His swearing is out of control, he hates school, doesn't care, a battle to do his homework. Blah, blah, blah...we are so discouraged... Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. We don't think he's doing drugs, neither does his therapist. I'm worried about this though. Thanks.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

We don't give our difficult children consequences at home for incidents that happen at school. We let the school handle school problems, we handle home problems.

We've had teachers call us and expect us to do something. I always tell the teachers that we will stand behind whatever consequences they feel are appropriate. We have a hard enough time dealing with bad behavior at home. I don't think we need to be responsible for providing appropriate consequences for poor behavior that happens in school too. in my humble opinion, this job belongs to the school staff.

I'm sorry you going through this. WFEN

 

[Sunlight]

I think once they go thru detention they no longer fear it. then the detentions increase. I would be apt to also have some restriction at home for this. no sleepovers for a week, some other loss of privilege perhaps.
puberty makes emotions worse. sigh

 

[susiestar]

We didn't do anything extra at home after a while. It made our home a battlefield. In the first 3 years of school, I fully understood why he was having so much trouble with the school and teachers, was likely to go speak to the teacher about THEIR inapprop behavior.

Things like signing the bad behavior book if they had to go to the bathroom, and giving him no recess because the TEACHER misspelled something and he didn't correct her.

We homeschooled for a couple of years, then put him back in school. Much more reasonable SD until middle school. High school and jr high are good, just not MS. SO, we did very little as far as extra punishment.

All it did was make MY life miserable, and the rest of the family's.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[ShakinThingzUp]

The only thing I would have done in addition, was to require my child to write a letter of apology to the teacher (or teachers if there was more than one), and hand deliver it to them, himself. (With my child, I would have asked that the teacher sign and return it or a copy of it).

God Bless!
Amy