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difficult child discharge Wed
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 190443" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I have to agree with the others on the BiPolar (BP) and intentional behavior. Maybe that's because it has been these wise people that have helped me so much in accepting and dealing with my son- and they (thank God) have been here to give me those subtle reminders when needed. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>When my son was first diagnosis'd with depression, his first individual counselor (a social worker) told me to call police whenever my son left the house or didn't obey me, etc. I think he was treating ODD and had the impression that the prozac was "curing" the depression. I tried this method for months, all the while my son was becoming progressively worse- both behavior wise and in terms of self-destruction physically. I stopped taking my son to that counselor after becoming convinced that I was going to lose my son's life and I started devoting more time with him to just listen to what he had to say so maybe I could at least understand why he was throwing his life away. His behavior starting turning around drasticly then.</p><p></p><p>So, now, I can assure you that if I thought my son's behavior was intentional, I would kick his rear and/or call police instead of giving him mood stabilizers and working to learn better therapuetic approaches. Also, I spend a great deal of my time trying to convey to people in our lives that mood disorders cannot be "punished" out of a child, or an adult. My son acted the way he did because he didn't know a better way to cope with what was going on with him- it was a balancing act between survival and giving in and giving up. Now, I understand that he needs to be taught better skills to deal with what is going on with him, ways to detect and prevent the negative feelings and self-destructive behavior. This requires teaching, not punishing, and they aren't one in the same. Yes, if he tries to take advantage of having a mood disorder in some way, or he does things wrong when I know he knew how to do better, he still gets punished- he needs to know he can't get by with it.</p><p></p><p>There is a lot that he needs to learn (so do I) in order for him to live in this world as an adult with the issues he has and be a good citizen, family member, worker, etc. But I can't begin to tell you how I felt when I realized that making sure he's punished for every little thing, no matter what, and giving no other therapuetic treatment was never going to "cure" him. This simply can't be beaten out of a person, no more than diabetes or asthma can. And he didn't chose to have this monkey on his back no more than a diabetic or person with asthma.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/soapbox.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":soapbox:" title="soapbox :soapbox:" data-shortname=":soapbox:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/soapbox.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":soapbox:" title="soapbox :soapbox:" data-shortname=":soapbox:" /></p><p>OK- I'll get off now! LOL!! Sorry- this is a sore spot for me after so many meetings at school, screening new counselors, testifying to the judge, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 190443, member: 3699"] I have to agree with the others on the BiPolar (BP) and intentional behavior. Maybe that's because it has been these wise people that have helped me so much in accepting and dealing with my son- and they (thank God) have been here to give me those subtle reminders when needed. :D When my son was first diagnosis'd with depression, his first individual counselor (a social worker) told me to call police whenever my son left the house or didn't obey me, etc. I think he was treating ODD and had the impression that the prozac was "curing" the depression. I tried this method for months, all the while my son was becoming progressively worse- both behavior wise and in terms of self-destruction physically. I stopped taking my son to that counselor after becoming convinced that I was going to lose my son's life and I started devoting more time with him to just listen to what he had to say so maybe I could at least understand why he was throwing his life away. His behavior starting turning around drasticly then. So, now, I can assure you that if I thought my son's behavior was intentional, I would kick his rear and/or call police instead of giving him mood stabilizers and working to learn better therapuetic approaches. Also, I spend a great deal of my time trying to convey to people in our lives that mood disorders cannot be "punished" out of a child, or an adult. My son acted the way he did because he didn't know a better way to cope with what was going on with him- it was a balancing act between survival and giving in and giving up. Now, I understand that he needs to be taught better skills to deal with what is going on with him, ways to detect and prevent the negative feelings and self-destructive behavior. This requires teaching, not punishing, and they aren't one in the same. Yes, if he tries to take advantage of having a mood disorder in some way, or he does things wrong when I know he knew how to do better, he still gets punished- he needs to know he can't get by with it. There is a lot that he needs to learn (so do I) in order for him to live in this world as an adult with the issues he has and be a good citizen, family member, worker, etc. But I can't begin to tell you how I felt when I realized that making sure he's punished for every little thing, no matter what, and giving no other therapuetic treatment was never going to "cure" him. This simply can't be beaten out of a person, no more than diabetes or asthma can. And he didn't chose to have this monkey on his back no more than a diabetic or person with asthma. :soapbox::soapbox: OK- I'll get off now! LOL!! Sorry- this is a sore spot for me after so many meetings at school, screening new counselors, testifying to the judge, etc. [/QUOTE]
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