difficult child drama....and it's NOT mine!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mstang67chic, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    So difficult child has this friend T. They've been friends for a few years although I haven't spent much time around this kid.....er....guy....whatever. Apparently, T is a difficult child in his own right but typical teen at the same time. The last couple of times I was around him, he was with us for a few hours. The last time was actually fun as we watched difficult child mow a friends yard while they were on vacation. We just stood back watching and chatting on what kind of a job difficult child was doing and how he would do when he actually got a job and had to WORK! (T had a job at this point). It was kind of fun and T and I got along but of course.....I'm not his mom so go figure.

    Anyhoo....evidently for the past I don't know how many months, T has had this girlfriend R. (Probably close to a year at least) I haven't heard too much about the situation because difficult child must think I pick up info by osmosis because he doesn't tell me anything but expects me to know it all. Evidently though, R is a bit controlling of T's life. ALL of it. Who he sees, who he talks to, what he does.....the whole bit. R has a baby. I'm still not sure if it is T's or not but they are acting like he is. At some point, T and his mom had a huge blowup and he moved in with R and her mom. difficult child went with T's mom S once to try and talk T into coming home but it didn't work. T doesn't talk to difficult child much anymore if at all, he lost his job and doesn't really speak to anyone, family included, especially if they aren't R approved. I gather though, that when he does talk to S, it's more of the "well I'm 18 and THIS is what I can do now and what I've done" type of thing. Evidently T and R got married at somepoint recently and are still living at R's mom's place. (Who, by the way, encourages and assists her daughter in controlling this poor kid) Now....I know this kid has issues of his own but I kinda feel sorry for the situation he's in. He brought it on himself yes, but I hate to think of him living like this. What's so bad, you ask? As an example, R apparently named some other guy as the father of the baby even though T claims him as his own. R had to take the baby to get a paternity test done so, I imagine, child support could be set up.

    She took someone else's kid for the test.

    So now, T's mom S and difficult child are going over there today to try to talk to T again. I've talked with difficult child about not getting involved in all the drama so we'll see how it goes.

    Blah. I'm glad I don't know much about the situation.
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Whoa......major fraud going on......... hope your friend T doesn't get caught up in this..... If officials get wind of this could be major charges filed....... I think I would call T and let him know this is MAJOR problem and he could be sitting in jail for what she has done...... they won't distinguish the involvement, they will just say if they receive any benefits it will be on both of them..... Was she trying to find another kid of this guy or just eliminate the other guy? Weird thing to do...... and major stupid...... Not much you can do if he won't listen and get out of this situation......
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    It seems that somehow the officials found out what she did but I'm not sure how. Supposedly she has to go back in but I don't know what they will do. I don't think she's received anything in the way of support yet so I'm not sure what the penalty is for using the wrong baby for a paternity test.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    On top of all the obvious reasons why this is wrong and stupid, exactly what would one tell the baby when he/she grows up? Are they planning on the kid never really knowing who their father is? I wonder if the mom really knows who it is in a situation like that- and I'm usually the last person to say that.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Whatever is going on in this situation, it has major Jerry Springer potential!!!!

    Stay as far OUT of this drama as you can. She is perpetrating a fraud, I have NO idea why you would do that, or why you would encourage your child to do that. I DO feel sorry for the boy, but he had to know what the girl was like before he married her.

    This has train wreck posted ALL over it. sorry if that sounds rude, but it just does.

    A woman who will take someone else's child in for paternity testing will do almost anything, in my opinion. I wonder if they made her give a sample at the same time to make sure it was actually her child? I have no idea how these tests are run, but if this girl thought of it chances are someone else did before this, and the lab found a way to prevent it.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Good point, Susie. Actually, I was under the impression that blood samples were taken from the mother, too, to ensure that this was that mother's child - in typical situations, I don't know about this one.

    And further- who would let someone else take their baby in for a blood test? I wonder if that mother knew? Maybe she just thought this other woman was just baby-sittting her baby a while. If so, couldn't she file charges, too? I would be royally po'd if someone took my baby in for a blood test acting like it was their own.
  8. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Ummmmm Star* I clean keyboards for a living, Lol!!!! Lots of coffee spewing going on in here lately :). I would hope that the parent had no idea. I would think that she to would be able to press charges. It can be a very serious thing especially when it involves a minor child. Seems that she is definitely hiding something and did not want to be found out. Hmmm..
  9. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Moral of the story: Be suspicious if someone volunteers to take care of your child for a few hours?
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. R is so gonna be busted. Just in case, I'd find out how and turn her in. (I can be an @ss when it comes to this stuff)

    Good grief what a mess! Can't see the reasoning behind taking someone else's kid to DNA........that doesn't make alot of sense........weird.

    Nichole and boyfriend have a friend Bill. (also friends with sister in law and easy child) Nice kid, hard worker, definately a easy child. His ex couldn't get more difficult child. Bill had a baby with difficult child girlfriend, Billy Jr. They were together almost 3 yrs. Billy jr. was 2 when difficult child girlfriend suddenly announces that baby is not Bills, gets DNA, proves it, changes baby's name on birth certificate to Real Daddy jr. Bill is devistated utterly. He might be young but he was a really good Daddy and LOVED that baby.

    Nichole and easy child give me the whole story and I'm just shaking my head. Bill and the baby lost out on that one. difficult child girlfriend is severely neglectful.

    Horrible how some people like to play with other people's lives.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would think you could press charges against someone for taking your child in to ahve a medical test done, saying it was your child. I just didn't know if they did take blood or whatever from the mom. Who thinks of borrowing a baby to take a paternity test? That is as bizarre as studying for one, in my humble opinion!

    so do they usually take blood from the mom as well as the baby? And what would the "friend" do if they found out you "borrowed" their kid and did a medical procedure like taking blood? Heck, they have to have permission to even take a kid to the doctor here. Isn't it like that everywhere? But unless the kid looked totally bizarre, how would you know to suspect that someone brought the wrong kid in for a paternity test?

    I know about the doctor permission because each of my kids' charts has a letter in it authorizing my mom and dad to take them to the doctor. Even Wiz, though he has lived with my parents for several years. I had to sign a form at school for each kid to be able to go to the doctor and have school auth treatment in an emergency. This year they even made a copy of hte insurance card. Apparently that was a problem with some kid last year. Parent tried to refuse to pay for treatment because the school took the kid in with an emergency when parents couldn't be reached. (also makes me wonder who would refuse to pay for medical treatment because teh school took the kid to the hospital?) I can see if the kid got injured because the school's negligence then you want school to pay (we made school pay for Jessie's front tooth to be repaired because they had a clear safety hazard that caused her to break the tooth off) but you don't refuse to have the kid treated.

    Who thinks of these things like borrowing a baby for medical tests?? What circumstances would make you think that was OK??? Talk about strange set of values, geepers.
  12. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Wow. I'm just speechless.

    I'm pretty sure that they take mom's DNA, too. The only reason I know that is that Discovery Health had a show called I Am My Own Twin - where there had been another twin in the womb and it died and the surviving twin absorbed it and so the person has 2 DNA profiles depending on where you take it from. And the one person that was found to have this was a mom taking her son for a DNA test for paternity. She had to go through all kinds of hell - especially because she was poor - to prove that her son was, in fact, her son. Anyway.....

    So, that leads me to believe that they test mom's DNA, too.

    What an idiot.
  13. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green