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difficult child feeling lonely, hopeless and sad
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 561770" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Well, at least closer to aspie than your Average Joe. Close enough to be diagnosed? Not really. In his evaluations (he has had two extensive neuro-psychological evaluations, one before he started school, second one around the age 13) it was brought up that he does have more aspie/autistic spectrum traits than most people, but he is just too high-functioning for diagnose and he is also lacking some core traits. Same with ADHD. Only thing they did 'diagnose' or in fact didn't, because at least at that time it wasn't official, separate diagnose in ICD-10, was Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). That one he got when he was young and he attended Occupational Therapist (OT) that helped a lot. They said at the time that he would likely end up with ADHD or asperger when he got older (they do not usually diagnose those before the age six around here) because of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), but that never happened. difficult child has always have some rather profound strengths and he is very good at compensating so even with his traits and features he has been too high functioning for diagnoses. But as my sig says, he is not quite neurotypical either.</p><p></p><p>I think his social issues, lack of social skills and troubles making friends are partly, and maybe originally, because of his hard wiring, but made much worse by the lack of good experiences and opportunities to practise his skills. He was bullied early on and quite severely and he had only very few good peer experiences while growing up. So I guess his current situation is both lack of 'talent' and definitely lack of practise. His mental coach does work with him also with this matters and I'm hopeful he will make some headway with this, but right now he is quite discouraged and I do understand why. And of course struggling with sport really takes his mood down all around. But he is still trying and I'm glad about it. </p><p></p><p>Having tough time with his dad isn't helping either. They had a new tiff again. Or more like husband had. I still don't get what is wrong with him. We had a father's day. husband has gotten overweight and in bad shape in last ten years. He has already lost some weight but his BMI is still close to 30 and he is not in a great shape either. He has used kids' sports as an excuse and he lost that one over this summer and promised to get back to shape and beat me at half-marathon next summer. He has been little slow to start working and boys have been harping him about that. Few years back easy child had some baby fat and husband made a big deal about that and his eating habits. easy child quickly turned that baby fat to vertical increase, but haven't forgot his dad's attitude. And now he was able to give it back and he gave husband running tights for father's day present. Not a flattering look for one with husband's build even if he would be in shape, and even less so now. While certainly a jab for husband that gift is still in bounds of our family's teasing culture. But husband got slightly miffed and somehow managed to turn that to be difficult child's fault, even though difficult child had played it safe and gave him a book about the subject that interests husband. Not the most personal gift, but certainly neutral and appropriate. I find it sad that difficult child didn't dare to join his brother in jabbing their dad and even more sad that even trying to play it safe didn't really work for difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 561770, member: 14557"] Well, at least closer to aspie than your Average Joe. Close enough to be diagnosed? Not really. In his evaluations (he has had two extensive neuro-psychological evaluations, one before he started school, second one around the age 13) it was brought up that he does have more aspie/autistic spectrum traits than most people, but he is just too high-functioning for diagnose and he is also lacking some core traits. Same with ADHD. Only thing they did 'diagnose' or in fact didn't, because at least at that time it wasn't official, separate diagnose in ICD-10, was Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). That one he got when he was young and he attended Occupational Therapist (OT) that helped a lot. They said at the time that he would likely end up with ADHD or asperger when he got older (they do not usually diagnose those before the age six around here) because of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), but that never happened. difficult child has always have some rather profound strengths and he is very good at compensating so even with his traits and features he has been too high functioning for diagnoses. But as my sig says, he is not quite neurotypical either. I think his social issues, lack of social skills and troubles making friends are partly, and maybe originally, because of his hard wiring, but made much worse by the lack of good experiences and opportunities to practise his skills. He was bullied early on and quite severely and he had only very few good peer experiences while growing up. So I guess his current situation is both lack of 'talent' and definitely lack of practise. His mental coach does work with him also with this matters and I'm hopeful he will make some headway with this, but right now he is quite discouraged and I do understand why. And of course struggling with sport really takes his mood down all around. But he is still trying and I'm glad about it. Having tough time with his dad isn't helping either. They had a new tiff again. Or more like husband had. I still don't get what is wrong with him. We had a father's day. husband has gotten overweight and in bad shape in last ten years. He has already lost some weight but his BMI is still close to 30 and he is not in a great shape either. He has used kids' sports as an excuse and he lost that one over this summer and promised to get back to shape and beat me at half-marathon next summer. He has been little slow to start working and boys have been harping him about that. Few years back easy child had some baby fat and husband made a big deal about that and his eating habits. easy child quickly turned that baby fat to vertical increase, but haven't forgot his dad's attitude. And now he was able to give it back and he gave husband running tights for father's day present. Not a flattering look for one with husband's build even if he would be in shape, and even less so now. While certainly a jab for husband that gift is still in bounds of our family's teasing culture. But husband got slightly miffed and somehow managed to turn that to be difficult child's fault, even though difficult child had played it safe and gave him a book about the subject that interests husband. Not the most personal gift, but certainly neutral and appropriate. I find it sad that difficult child didn't dare to join his brother in jabbing their dad and even more sad that even trying to play it safe didn't really work for difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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