difficult child finally antid up.......

Jena

New Member
so why now i have no clue, time with her sister maybe the 3 of us spending day together in a criminal court? go figure......

yet tonight she said can we talk? i said sure what's up? she laid in bed and said i'm afraid to tell you what's going on but well i feel things, and think things that i dont' think are normal fora long time now and i have to tell someone......

i said ok, bracing myself...... LOL

she said at night when i can't sleep and i come after you i'm so sorry yet it's not just i'm afraid or anxiety its' weird stuff. i have all these weird fears and think weird things will occur...... she listed offa bunch of them. she said i sit and say who am i, who are you talking to me your really just a skeleton who are you? when i look in the mirror i think that my face will suddenly change and i'll be someone else or my vision back at me will bea scary one suddenly.

i have to smooth everything over all the time, if someone touches a spot the wrong direction ihave to smooth it over with my hands and make it right, if the things aren't lined up the right way i have to fix it, it drives me insane. i am afraid alot of the time, bad thougths come in my head and i dont' know how to stop them.

i've been this way for a long time yet i never told my therapists or doctors. she named a ton of other stuff. she said mom what's wrong with me do you think i'm weird? why am i like this is it the bipolar? is that why im sooo happy i can't sit still than soo sad when things anything goes wrong? i said no what your talking about is your brain it gets stuck sometimes and it thinks or tricks you into believing that bad things will happen or weird things even though they wont.

she went on to say how she can't part with anything ever. her room is well a mess. we gut it out every two weeks yet new garbage finds its' way in, she's always digging through the trash.

she said i wantd to tell you because it gets so bad at night i can't handle it and taht's why i come to you. even you just telling me to lay down or leave you alone helps me its' that bad. so i said look at your quilt. it was 3 different patterns. i said when your mind takes a break i called it (panic attack prompted by the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) junk i'm guessing) i said count the patterns. trick your mind your smart. make it think about something else.

so this sweet kid is laying in her room holding her blanket in her hand at 12 with a pull up on preparing to count her dots and singing to herself softly and breathing......

sometimes they can just pull at your heart strings wow. so sh'es realizing more and more how her brain is so different than everyone elses here at home. a rough realization for a girl of twelve.

i'm sure many of you have had the this is what you have talk, or your girlfriend'gs saying wow why do i do this and that and the other...........?? her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is so bad, throw in the supposed bipolar sensory issues and it's alot of junk
 
M

ML

Guest
it can break your heart. I remember manster sharing his fears at a very young age. I guess we were lucky he was so good at expressing himself. by the way he too still wakes up nightly and calls for me to come into his room because he is scared.
 

Jena

New Member
hey you, how are you? what do you do when he does that? we're in the cbt/ exposure therapy thing now for over a mos. so i have to think carefully through the day as well as she does because we're trying not to fuel the fears the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) part of it. so i dont' go in the room haven't for months, we're just on stage 2 of it now we have like ten stages to go and new medications.....

we've been so on the mood switches with her the extreme highs and extreme lows the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) component kinda took a back seat. yet now it's coming full force. she sits in my truck lining up cd's in library walks thru entire aisles lining up books. on and on its been going
 
Top