difficult child found God and shaved his head

A

AmericanGirl

Guest
Yes, difficult child has had a busy first week back in the sober house.

First few days were bumpy as he had to adjust to begging the manager for money instead of me. They suggested I set up a fund for difficult child through them. I thought that was a great idea cause it takes the monkey off my back. I just kept sending him to speak to them. He got the idea and finally hushed.

After instructing me the night before he left to never ever have a funeral for him because he hated preachers...he has found God. If you read a sarcastic tone, you win a prize. I'm praying it is true but, not getting my hopes up.

Here's one text:

"I'm very connected to God. It's amazing how He is speaking to me through other people and various circumstances in my life. I woke up this morning and prayed for Him to reveal Himself to me one more time and I will not deny Him. He made it more than evident that He is willing to play a major role in my life if I let Him. I did, I am, and I will!!!"

He said he likes his new sponsor and they meet face to face regularly. He went to three meetings yesterday and is going to two different churches on Sunday.

Then, today, he shaved his head. (difficult child has always had beautiful, thick hair.) I asked why.

"For recovery. My vanity, self image, self conscious pride and ego issue most directly stem from my hair."I figure it is progress. I wish he would find a job but at least the first week back is over.
 

SuZir

Well-Known Member
Happy to hear you got the money thing sorted. It must be a major relief for you to not be the one he tries to get money out from. I'm still a gatekeeper to my difficult child's money, and it really being his money doesn't actually help but makes it worse, and it has at times been very stressful. It's also a great thing he is back to sober house and after so short (if dramatic) slip. It is a process.

But sorry to say, for me he still sounds very rehearsed, when talking about finding a God. It's like he is giving you what he thinks you want to hear and using words he knows 'one should use in this type of declarations.' However I do hope it's not all fake and manipulation but that he really is working with himself and trying to find a new ways to relate to this world also in existential issues.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Good Grief, AG! I understand that religion is a "cautious" subject (and with good reason) but difficult child couldn't have "Come to the Altar" in a few days. Actually that makes me nervous about his wellbeing. He's too smart to think he can play you with a fake persona. Is his personality extremely attention seeking? I had one kid grow dreds and want to be a Rastafarian. Could he be under the influence of some one there. Sorry, it sounds a little bit funny but more than a little bit concerning. This kid is going to be the end of all of us...lol. Hugs DDD
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Oh I have no doubt that he "found G-d"...

It's just another in a long line of justifications that there is nothing wrong with how he lives his life. in my humble opinion - the appeal of "religion" (especially being Born Again) to addicts and felons is that religion offers one that "fresh start" and "clean slate" and a chance to deny everything that has ever gone before because now - everything is different....and shame on you for trying to bring up the past.

So sorry...

PS - I am not trying to bash anyone's honest religious experiences. I'm just trying to state that it is easily used as an excuse and a "free pass" by some people...
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
A woman in my support group had a similar experience with her addicted child. The child used new found relegious conversion to get out of working, " Mom, I can not possibly be in a state of prayer 24-7 if I have to work. God will provide through othewr people." This woman was amazing and knew the bible inside and out. For every religous excuse child could find not to do xy and z, she had a verse to refute his convoluted thinking.
 

exhausted

Active Member
AG,
Isn't it just amazing??? I hope he found God and never looses him! My difficult child always gets back in touch with God at DT as well. The only fun they have is when the different churches come and do activities and give them treats. So of course God is back!!
 
A

AmericanGirl

Guest
It is progress any way you look at it. He's in the sober house. Our communications are positive and he isn't asking for stuff. He also isn't contacting old playmates.

Sure beats the heck outta him being cuffed in my front yard.
 
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