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difficult child Fugitive and headed here.. with friends!
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<blockquote data-quote="Rhonda" data-source="post: 253497" data-attributes="member: 6732"><p>Well, it wasn't as bad as I expected.. (dang... don't expect!!).. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/ashamed.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":ashamed:" title="ashamed :ashamed:" data-shortname=":ashamed:" /></p><p> </p><p>She looked awful. Piercing's everywhere!! She look beautiful!! What a smile! It was so nice to smell her again.. to feel her hugs... WOW... It was so nice to put her in that car and say call me tomorrow so we can talk.</p><p> </p><p>That said!! SO and I agreed to an hour or two to devote to these difficult child's max. They came in and were extremely polite..but we took no chances..stuck to them like glue. Both boys immediately introduced themselves to SO and shook his hand. One of the boys ask permission to brush his teeth and hinted that he would love a shower. Other than that, just very nice. They said that they are excited to be in CA and hope that they are able to find jobs quickly. I was skeptical but wished them luck. They were not on drugs that either of us could tell.. just dirty from nonstop travel. I fed them a big dinner. They all ate well and were very gracious and cleaned up after themselves.. They had already discovered that the shelters were filled and they had no where to go but did not ask to stay with us. SO and I had agreed ahead of time and so when they got ready to leave I gave them $60 because I had already found a $59.00 hotel room for them. I gave them directions and said good luck. One of the boys called his mom and asked her if she would back the room with a credit card and told her that they were paying for it with cash. They all were very thankful and called to get directions on the way.</p><p> </p><p>We really did not get a chance for my difficult child and I to talk. In all honesty. My difficult child looked the worst of the 4. But she has already called twice to thank me for giving them the money for the hotel and given me their room number. </p><p> </p><p>So, all that said.. MY Opinion... I think she wants to change.. I don't think she will. I think she is young and the first failure she has (or maybe just tomorrow will come), she will resort right back to drugs and bad things in general. </p><p> </p><p>She is excited and wanting to have fun and live life a different way than she has been. But she has no idea of the work that will be involved. But... those are just my thoughts... I will listen to her.</p><p> </p><p>The only conversation we did have was brief but I told her that I did not expect anything from her. That to do that was to make her feel like she had to live up to something for me to accept her or love her and that is not the case. I told her that I want her to live her life in a way that makes her happy. I told her I will help her if she wants a life that will work to achieve those things without hurting others (including me).</p><p> </p><p>Hope that does not scare you all too much. I mean that in the most loving way. But, rest assured that it also means that my help to her will be in the way of holding a hand. Going with her to therapy if she asks (I will not offer). Walking beside her down a hard road or letting her do it alone, whichever way she has to do it. Love forced is no love at all.. </p><p> </p><p>She will be tenacious when it comes to holding on to her imaginary independence. She has found her identity in drugs and brokeness and will guard it with all the strength she has. My love will have very little attraction for her. But it will be there. I am so glad I was able to see her again. </p><p> </p><p>I did cry after she left.. but my joy in seeing her after so many months overcame it pretty quickly..</p><p> </p><p>Thanks to you all for getting me through these last two days.. I will start a new post for the next episode.. "hope it is just that and not a crisis"....</p><p>Rhonda.. slightly less wilting magnolia..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rhonda, post: 253497, member: 6732"] Well, it wasn't as bad as I expected.. (dang... don't expect!!).. :ashamed: She looked awful. Piercing's everywhere!! She look beautiful!! What a smile! It was so nice to smell her again.. to feel her hugs... WOW... It was so nice to put her in that car and say call me tomorrow so we can talk. That said!! SO and I agreed to an hour or two to devote to these difficult child's max. They came in and were extremely polite..but we took no chances..stuck to them like glue. Both boys immediately introduced themselves to SO and shook his hand. One of the boys ask permission to brush his teeth and hinted that he would love a shower. Other than that, just very nice. They said that they are excited to be in CA and hope that they are able to find jobs quickly. I was skeptical but wished them luck. They were not on drugs that either of us could tell.. just dirty from nonstop travel. I fed them a big dinner. They all ate well and were very gracious and cleaned up after themselves.. They had already discovered that the shelters were filled and they had no where to go but did not ask to stay with us. SO and I had agreed ahead of time and so when they got ready to leave I gave them $60 because I had already found a $59.00 hotel room for them. I gave them directions and said good luck. One of the boys called his mom and asked her if she would back the room with a credit card and told her that they were paying for it with cash. They all were very thankful and called to get directions on the way. We really did not get a chance for my difficult child and I to talk. In all honesty. My difficult child looked the worst of the 4. But she has already called twice to thank me for giving them the money for the hotel and given me their room number. So, all that said.. MY Opinion... I think she wants to change.. I don't think she will. I think she is young and the first failure she has (or maybe just tomorrow will come), she will resort right back to drugs and bad things in general. She is excited and wanting to have fun and live life a different way than she has been. But she has no idea of the work that will be involved. But... those are just my thoughts... I will listen to her. The only conversation we did have was brief but I told her that I did not expect anything from her. That to do that was to make her feel like she had to live up to something for me to accept her or love her and that is not the case. I told her that I want her to live her life in a way that makes her happy. I told her I will help her if she wants a life that will work to achieve those things without hurting others (including me). Hope that does not scare you all too much. I mean that in the most loving way. But, rest assured that it also means that my help to her will be in the way of holding a hand. Going with her to therapy if she asks (I will not offer). Walking beside her down a hard road or letting her do it alone, whichever way she has to do it. Love forced is no love at all.. She will be tenacious when it comes to holding on to her imaginary independence. She has found her identity in drugs and brokeness and will guard it with all the strength she has. My love will have very little attraction for her. But it will be there. I am so glad I was able to see her again. I did cry after she left.. but my joy in seeing her after so many months overcame it pretty quickly.. Thanks to you all for getting me through these last two days.. I will start a new post for the next episode.. "hope it is just that and not a crisis".... Rhonda.. slightly less wilting magnolia.. [/QUOTE]
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