I had been concerned over the last week coz I hadn't heard from difficult child which has been unlike her since she has told me she is preggers. I was going to go to her soon to be in-laws house to go check on her, as I was about to leave I receive a phone call from her soon to be father-in-law.
Wednesday evening the b/friends dad (future father-in-law to difficult child) called me asked if he and his wife could meet with us last night at 7pm at house to discuss the wedding, I said sure but I need to ask hubby .. they have no phones to contact them back he called me while he was at work. these people have had home phones, cell phones but cant seem to pay any bills so they get them turned off
if you had read my previous post it seems they are using my difficult child for money.
back to the father-in-law...I asked my hubby if we should go he said yeah.. but he wants to know a little more before we get there coz he doesn't want to be put on the spot.
so I call back say we will go but I want a few more details since I hadn't heard from difficult child in a week. I get the details that they have organized stuff, paid deposits on a building for the reception, bought a wedding dress, got invites all without consulting me, but want me to pay for it all.. the father-in-law gives me the phone number to to his daughter cell phone to call difficult child
I call..... I get her b/friend I ask to speak to difficult child he says no.. she is asleep at 7pm and doesn't want to wake her coz she wil wake up cranky... I ask him what's going on what needs done.. his mum starts yelling out in the background all the wedding plans ....difficult child wants hubby to walk her down the isle and that I will be standing at the end of the stairs to hand difficult child her flowers and then walk with difficult child and hubby to the alter. see they planned it all but want me to pay. I said wait a min I have been robbed of planning things with difficult child and she is the bride yet b/friend and his mum have planned it all and you just want me to hand over cash and you have given me 2 weeks notice, I thought you had it all under control and that I was going to be invited as a guest. he says no we made no plans nothing is set in stone (yet they have a wedding dress and are about to send out invites) we want to meet with you to make plans .. get ideas...and then get cash. sheesh I don't even know the exact time of the day my difficult child is going to get married and all of this is suppose to happen on 22nd Sept 2007!!! you have to remember difficult child and her b/friend and in-laws and siblings all went to California 2 weeks ago on difficult children money.. in-laws decided difficult child and their son were going to get married.. they lived it up in Disneyland and mesquite gambling to come home and cry poor but they want to get married.
I said I was going to be blunt when talking with him and I only speak the truth and I expect the same back.. I then said any other family would tell you to F.. off if he asked any other family for cash without being the ones to help plan their daughters wedding.. but I am not going to verbally abuse him but all I want to do is support my daughter.
b/friend said fine (gotta remember he is 17).
yesterday I get a call (supposedly the in-laws daughter always has her cell and no phone in the house) it's the boyfriend on his sisters cell phone. he says my parents don't feel right about having this meeting so we are canceling plus they are busy. I said yeah... ok... now what's the real reason.... coz I won't jump to your demands... he said you interrogated them yesterday (which I didn't coz I mainly spoke to the b/friend and briefly to the dad while he was at work). b/friend said he would make sure difficult child calls me when she finishes work.
I get a call from difficult child....she acts like she knows nothing.. but she really does (she loves to play the innocent victim) im sure she listened to the whole conversation while pretending to be asleep. hubby wanted to go get her yesterday morning and take her away from these people coz they are brainwashing her, he wants her back home which is so unlike him. difficult child wants me to make peace with b/friend and his parents coz it was all a communication problem, so I can pay for the wedding.
I have just found out difficult child's b/friend was charged with sexual assault and has been in the juvie justice system and has had a probation officer. he was in high school he got a jnr high girl and assaulted her.
difficult child doesn't know I know. difficult child told her foster sister she knew he was a sex offender but didn't care. difficult child told me he was wrongly accused of a crime (which is a lie)
I knew b/friend did something wrong to end up in the self contained class for boys, but his parents wouldn't tell us(during a case meeting concerning my difficult child leaving care to move in with them) what it was for. I called and spoke to the lady who runs the self contained classroom, b/friends parents threatened her if she told and they also threatened my difficult children case worker if she looked up his case coz he is a minor.
the teacher has taught difficult child for a few yrs and once she found out she difficult child was with ehr b/friend she knew something was wrong.
b/friend had a girlfriend right up until difficult child got preggers he was causing problems at the school with this girl who was also in the self contained classroom. teacher says b/friend is a habitual liar.
b/friend is checking out a new girl at his work, he left his 2nd job.. even though they have no money.
the weird piece to this puzzle is b/friend mum (future mother-in-law to difficult child) use to deliver bunches of flowers to difficult child without the boyfriend present to difficult child while she was in foster care. she also arranged everything for her son to propose to difficult child and made sure she was present during the time it happened.
I spoke to difficult children old dcfs case worker she said if difficult child is willing to leave these people she will set her up in a apartment near us with whatever she needs. one part of me wants to rescue difficult child but the other part of me knows difficult child will not listen and she will always associate with crazy people like herself.
difficult children case worker, foster mum and teacher are is telling me to get difficult child aside and tell her she has a way out but knowing her she will think im not supporting and go more towards this family then listen to me
she lives in a fantasy getting married having a baby. hubby says its easier to let her get married coz in a few mths they will be divorced.
my concerned is for difficult child but more so for the unborn baby. I have a funny feeling the mother-in-law controls everything and I wonder once the baby is born is she will try and take the baby away from difficult child so difficult child can then pay them child support since they are so money hungry people.
how should I handle this problem so I don't loose difficult child... should I detach form the whole situation? should I attend the wedding? should I still pay for some of the wedding even though its all based on lies? should I help get difficult child away from these people?
I read the detachment website often used on this board. this morning I thought to myself difficult child is always going to be surrounded in drama and I don't want any part of it anymore. im tired of loosing sleep over her and not being able to focus on my other kids and my marriage coz she constantly has crap going on in her life due to her poor choices.
Wednesday evening the b/friends dad (future father-in-law to difficult child) called me asked if he and his wife could meet with us last night at 7pm at house to discuss the wedding, I said sure but I need to ask hubby .. they have no phones to contact them back he called me while he was at work. these people have had home phones, cell phones but cant seem to pay any bills so they get them turned off
if you had read my previous post it seems they are using my difficult child for money.
back to the father-in-law...I asked my hubby if we should go he said yeah.. but he wants to know a little more before we get there coz he doesn't want to be put on the spot.
so I call back say we will go but I want a few more details since I hadn't heard from difficult child in a week. I get the details that they have organized stuff, paid deposits on a building for the reception, bought a wedding dress, got invites all without consulting me, but want me to pay for it all.. the father-in-law gives me the phone number to to his daughter cell phone to call difficult child
I call..... I get her b/friend I ask to speak to difficult child he says no.. she is asleep at 7pm and doesn't want to wake her coz she wil wake up cranky... I ask him what's going on what needs done.. his mum starts yelling out in the background all the wedding plans ....difficult child wants hubby to walk her down the isle and that I will be standing at the end of the stairs to hand difficult child her flowers and then walk with difficult child and hubby to the alter. see they planned it all but want me to pay. I said wait a min I have been robbed of planning things with difficult child and she is the bride yet b/friend and his mum have planned it all and you just want me to hand over cash and you have given me 2 weeks notice, I thought you had it all under control and that I was going to be invited as a guest. he says no we made no plans nothing is set in stone (yet they have a wedding dress and are about to send out invites) we want to meet with you to make plans .. get ideas...and then get cash. sheesh I don't even know the exact time of the day my difficult child is going to get married and all of this is suppose to happen on 22nd Sept 2007!!! you have to remember difficult child and her b/friend and in-laws and siblings all went to California 2 weeks ago on difficult children money.. in-laws decided difficult child and their son were going to get married.. they lived it up in Disneyland and mesquite gambling to come home and cry poor but they want to get married.
I said I was going to be blunt when talking with him and I only speak the truth and I expect the same back.. I then said any other family would tell you to F.. off if he asked any other family for cash without being the ones to help plan their daughters wedding.. but I am not going to verbally abuse him but all I want to do is support my daughter.
b/friend said fine (gotta remember he is 17).
yesterday I get a call (supposedly the in-laws daughter always has her cell and no phone in the house) it's the boyfriend on his sisters cell phone. he says my parents don't feel right about having this meeting so we are canceling plus they are busy. I said yeah... ok... now what's the real reason.... coz I won't jump to your demands... he said you interrogated them yesterday (which I didn't coz I mainly spoke to the b/friend and briefly to the dad while he was at work). b/friend said he would make sure difficult child calls me when she finishes work.
I get a call from difficult child....she acts like she knows nothing.. but she really does (she loves to play the innocent victim) im sure she listened to the whole conversation while pretending to be asleep. hubby wanted to go get her yesterday morning and take her away from these people coz they are brainwashing her, he wants her back home which is so unlike him. difficult child wants me to make peace with b/friend and his parents coz it was all a communication problem, so I can pay for the wedding.
I have just found out difficult child's b/friend was charged with sexual assault and has been in the juvie justice system and has had a probation officer. he was in high school he got a jnr high girl and assaulted her.
difficult child doesn't know I know. difficult child told her foster sister she knew he was a sex offender but didn't care. difficult child told me he was wrongly accused of a crime (which is a lie)
I knew b/friend did something wrong to end up in the self contained class for boys, but his parents wouldn't tell us(during a case meeting concerning my difficult child leaving care to move in with them) what it was for. I called and spoke to the lady who runs the self contained classroom, b/friends parents threatened her if she told and they also threatened my difficult children case worker if she looked up his case coz he is a minor.
the teacher has taught difficult child for a few yrs and once she found out she difficult child was with ehr b/friend she knew something was wrong.
b/friend had a girlfriend right up until difficult child got preggers he was causing problems at the school with this girl who was also in the self contained classroom. teacher says b/friend is a habitual liar.
b/friend is checking out a new girl at his work, he left his 2nd job.. even though they have no money.
the weird piece to this puzzle is b/friend mum (future mother-in-law to difficult child) use to deliver bunches of flowers to difficult child without the boyfriend present to difficult child while she was in foster care. she also arranged everything for her son to propose to difficult child and made sure she was present during the time it happened.
I spoke to difficult children old dcfs case worker she said if difficult child is willing to leave these people she will set her up in a apartment near us with whatever she needs. one part of me wants to rescue difficult child but the other part of me knows difficult child will not listen and she will always associate with crazy people like herself.
difficult children case worker, foster mum and teacher are is telling me to get difficult child aside and tell her she has a way out but knowing her she will think im not supporting and go more towards this family then listen to me
she lives in a fantasy getting married having a baby. hubby says its easier to let her get married coz in a few mths they will be divorced.
my concerned is for difficult child but more so for the unborn baby. I have a funny feeling the mother-in-law controls everything and I wonder once the baby is born is she will try and take the baby away from difficult child so difficult child can then pay them child support since they are so money hungry people.
how should I handle this problem so I don't loose difficult child... should I detach form the whole situation? should I attend the wedding? should I still pay for some of the wedding even though its all based on lies? should I help get difficult child away from these people?
I read the detachment website often used on this board. this morning I thought to myself difficult child is always going to be surrounded in drama and I don't want any part of it anymore. im tired of loosing sleep over her and not being able to focus on my other kids and my marriage coz she constantly has crap going on in her life due to her poor choices.
