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Substance Abuse
difficult child Given 15-days
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<blockquote data-quote="NOLA" data-source="post: 66056" data-attributes="member: 3515"><p>Thanks guys - it's been a tough 2 weeks. I decided not to visit & did not speak to him (he called home & spoke to husband) but then he called me on Thursday & asked why I hadn't visited & if I could come. husband & I visited him on Friday (30 minutes) Boy, it's not easy seeing your kid in that jumpsuit & in that environment. </p><p></p><p>All things considered the visit went well until we dropped the bomb on him by being upfront and telling him he would be going to boarding school for the upcoming year. He started with the "I've changed" mantra and how he'd be so miserable he couldn't stand it, why couldn't he get his diploma on-line, etc. After calmly explaining to him that as his parents we had to do what we thought was best for him and his on-line option had expired (since he not once mentioned it since it was offered) and he could look at it as a real chance to turn his life around and rise to the challenge or be miserable and complain - it was totally up to him. He acted up for a few minutes & then moved on to the "can I just come home today & I'll go wherever" - always the negotiator!</p><p></p><p>It wasn't easy but we held our ground -- now comes the next phase of this adventure. husband is picking him up tomorrow, day 15 of his incarceration & he will go to the interview at the school on Thursday. If all goes well he will actually start on the 20th its a 3 ½ hour drive away.</p><p></p><p>As you guys know, I am filled up with self-doubt and second guessing my every decision. The school is an accredited military boarding school where hell have the opportunity to get a HS diploma, small classes, supervised study time, sports, and most of all be held accountable for himself. </p><p></p><p>Ive searched the internet up and down (and even sideways) and this school seems to be the right choice BUT, as usual, I have the other side of the coin that keeps glaring at me. Have any of you guys or your friends gone that route? I would love to send him to an EGBS but that is not an option for us financially. The only ones Id consider are cross-country & way out of our league $$ wise. In my heart, I feel he is screaming for structure, accountability and wants to do well so this is where the momentum has taken me. </p><p></p><p>How do you know if you are raising the bar so they will reach for it or if you are setting up for failure?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="NOLA, post: 66056, member: 3515"] Thanks guys - it's been a tough 2 weeks. I decided not to visit & did not speak to him (he called home & spoke to husband) but then he called me on Thursday & asked why I hadn't visited & if I could come. husband & I visited him on Friday (30 minutes) Boy, it's not easy seeing your kid in that jumpsuit & in that environment. All things considered the visit went well until we dropped the bomb on him by being upfront and telling him he would be going to boarding school for the upcoming year. He started with the "I've changed" mantra and how he'd be so miserable he couldn't stand it, why couldn't he get his diploma on-line, etc. After calmly explaining to him that as his parents we had to do what we thought was best for him and his on-line option had expired (since he not once mentioned it since it was offered) and he could look at it as a real chance to turn his life around and rise to the challenge or be miserable and complain - it was totally up to him. He acted up for a few minutes & then moved on to the "can I just come home today & I'll go wherever" - always the negotiator! It wasn't easy but we held our ground -- now comes the next phase of this adventure. husband is picking him up tomorrow, day 15 of his incarceration & he will go to the interview at the school on Thursday. If all goes well he will actually start on the 20th its a 3 ½ hour drive away. As you guys know, I am filled up with self-doubt and second guessing my every decision. The school is an accredited military boarding school where hell have the opportunity to get a HS diploma, small classes, supervised study time, sports, and most of all be held accountable for himself. Ive searched the internet up and down (and even sideways) and this school seems to be the right choice BUT, as usual, I have the other side of the coin that keeps glaring at me. Have any of you guys or your friends gone that route? I would love to send him to an EGBS but that is not an option for us financially. The only ones Id consider are cross-country & way out of our league $$ wise. In my heart, I feel he is screaming for structure, accountability and wants to do well so this is where the momentum has taken me. How do you know if you are raising the bar so they will reach for it or if you are setting up for failure? [/QUOTE]
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