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difficult child given credit...we are baffled
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 252078"><p>Susie...</p><p>Since our difficult child has multiple diagnosis's and there is some confusion about her abilities...we like her to meet us halfway on things. In addition, she does not do drugs, takes her medication and is respectful to us.</p><p> </p><p>For now, this is how we have decided to handle things...</p><p> </p><p>We have helped her to a certain extent...but we tend to not be willing to help beyond a certain point.</p><p> </p><p>In addition (and this is very important), we always ask difficult child to help us help her, to meet us half way, to make a contribution to her own well being....or else we aren't budging....</p><p> </p><p>So, in this case, we might ask the phone company to drop the bill or to re-negotiate the bill. difficult child said she would work for husband and pay for the bill back. The truth is...if the bill is not reduced and remains loarge...I don't truly see it happening. If the debt is reduced...it is more doable.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child applies for jobs all the time...doesn't get them. My one complaint is that she only half heartedly worked with SSI to get a pt job. She does try on her own to get them and is always turned down.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child wants to pay back the phone bill and this is a good thing (I just know in my heart that the larger/full bill is not really realistic. It needs to be reduced). We might be able to work out something here and I'm open to her suggestions. This is what she is hoping...she doesn't want debt. Personally, I think if the bill is not renegotiated (reduced) she'll have a hard time working it off. If we do pay for a reduced bill, we will insist on her paying us back by working for husband. Otherwise, we wont pay for it...she might very well end up with bad credit.</p><p> </p><p>in my humble opinion, the phone company is at least partially responsibility and should reduce the bill. Why? Because they probably did not really check out her credit. Why? Because the manager would sign up an obviously homeless person. He would sign up an obviously mentally ill person. He would sign up an obviously retarded person. Anyone with a pulse and a SS Number. The mentally ill persons in this country are sometimes used. This entire thing is ashame. I will protect myself, try to use it for a lesson for my difficult child...since she has responsibility here. IF I spend any money, difficult child will need to work to pay me back. But I also see that there was malice involved on the part of the franchise.</p><p> </p><p>The entire bill is a little large and I'm not sure if I will want to pursue it any further. Sure, she can try to get a job and pay for this on her own...it is highly unlikely to happen. I know from experience, that there are many problems here.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child has bipolar diagnosis, had brain surgery from a major anuerysm, had a brain bleed, ended up with some LDs, and is ADHD. She also has emotional baggage from her adoption.</p><p> </p><p>All of this does not give her a pass. We expect her to do the best she can. We are wiling to give her an "assist" here and there. We hesitate to let her go hungry and we will not let her go with-o medical care. However, we will also not let ourselves personally suffer and we will continue to expect her to do whatever she can whenver she can to help herself. difficult child understands that we have our limits and she does she try to stay within boundaries...just messes up at times. When she does...the process starts and she will meet us half way at the very least or she will feel the pain of her mess full force. She understands her limits...the times that things have fallen apart majorly...she has been hsopitalized...has not happened too often.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 252078"] Susie... Since our difficult child has multiple diagnosis's and there is some confusion about her abilities...we like her to meet us halfway on things. In addition, she does not do drugs, takes her medication and is respectful to us. For now, this is how we have decided to handle things... We have helped her to a certain extent...but we tend to not be willing to help beyond a certain point. In addition (and this is very important), we always ask difficult child to help us help her, to meet us half way, to make a contribution to her own well being....or else we aren't budging.... So, in this case, we might ask the phone company to drop the bill or to re-negotiate the bill. difficult child said she would work for husband and pay for the bill back. The truth is...if the bill is not reduced and remains loarge...I don't truly see it happening. If the debt is reduced...it is more doable. difficult child applies for jobs all the time...doesn't get them. My one complaint is that she only half heartedly worked with SSI to get a pt job. She does try on her own to get them and is always turned down. difficult child wants to pay back the phone bill and this is a good thing (I just know in my heart that the larger/full bill is not really realistic. It needs to be reduced). We might be able to work out something here and I'm open to her suggestions. This is what she is hoping...she doesn't want debt. Personally, I think if the bill is not renegotiated (reduced) she'll have a hard time working it off. If we do pay for a reduced bill, we will insist on her paying us back by working for husband. Otherwise, we wont pay for it...she might very well end up with bad credit. in my humble opinion, the phone company is at least partially responsibility and should reduce the bill. Why? Because they probably did not really check out her credit. Why? Because the manager would sign up an obviously homeless person. He would sign up an obviously mentally ill person. He would sign up an obviously retarded person. Anyone with a pulse and a SS Number. The mentally ill persons in this country are sometimes used. This entire thing is ashame. I will protect myself, try to use it for a lesson for my difficult child...since she has responsibility here. IF I spend any money, difficult child will need to work to pay me back. But I also see that there was malice involved on the part of the franchise. The entire bill is a little large and I'm not sure if I will want to pursue it any further. Sure, she can try to get a job and pay for this on her own...it is highly unlikely to happen. I know from experience, that there are many problems here. difficult child has bipolar diagnosis, had brain surgery from a major anuerysm, had a brain bleed, ended up with some LDs, and is ADHD. She also has emotional baggage from her adoption. All of this does not give her a pass. We expect her to do the best she can. We are wiling to give her an "assist" here and there. We hesitate to let her go hungry and we will not let her go with-o medical care. However, we will also not let ourselves personally suffer and we will continue to expect her to do whatever she can whenver she can to help herself. difficult child understands that we have our limits and she does she try to stay within boundaries...just messes up at times. When she does...the process starts and she will meet us half way at the very least or she will feel the pain of her mess full force. She understands her limits...the times that things have fallen apart majorly...she has been hsopitalized...has not happened too often. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child given credit...we are baffled
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