difficult child goes to court tomorrow

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child goes to court at 1:30 tomorrow for final sentencing in her shoplifting case. It's expected the charges will be dismissed because she completed the first offender program, after which her attorney will ask to have her case expunged. Her attorney told her to think about what she will say to the judge to convince him she has learned her lesson.
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well. Good for difficult child that she finished the community service hours.

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thinking of you Nancy! I hope things all go as planned.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Here's hoping she's contrite and sufficiently convinces the judge, so she can move on. It'll be OK.
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Ihoe things go smoothly, and that difficult child has learned something from all of this
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: I'll be thinking of her... If she truly is contrite I hope it comes across...
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I hope she has truly learned from this experience and can convince the judge of it. Will be waiting for your follow-up post. -RM
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sure she will "present" well, Nancy. Deep down I am hoping that she really gets it. Caring hugs coming your way. DDD
  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm anxiously waiting to hear how things went.

  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Me too waiting to hear how things went!!

  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It went as expected, her case was dismissed and sealed and expungement hearing will be set wthin 30 days.

    I was glad that there were several cases before difficult child's that she got the benefit of watching. It soon became apparent that this judge was no pushover and he questioned each defendant in detail. One guy was there for getting into a fight with anouther man and causing medical costs and protperty damage int he amount of about $400. This man has no job because he was "let go" and he has 8 children and his wife makes very little and they live on food stamps. He tried to argue with the judge on how much a new screen door cost, they were asking for $96. The judge told him he didn't know anywhere you could get a screen door cheaper so he should consider himself lucky. Then the guy tried to tell he had no money and couldn't pay the damages and the judge didn't buy that, told him to get a job. He put him on a three month payment plan and then told him he had another problem because he missed his earlier court date. Yelled at him for that and told him if he misses again he will go to jail.

    The next guy was there with his lawyer and AA sponsor. He had a previous DUI and got another one while on probation. Judges don't like that. His attorney explained that after the second DUI he entered a treatment program, then an IOP and aftercare program and has been an active member of AA and has been sober for 6 months now, has a sponsor and has followed all court restrictions. The judge was very troubled and said he was the kind of person he lost sleep over wondering whether he did the right thing. He asked why he should not put him in jail and the man said because of the impact it would have on his job and family and the judge told him he would rather have had him say that he was willing to take whatever punishment the judge felt fair. His sponsor then talked and advocated for the guy and the judge finally agreed to two years probation. loss of license, yellow plates, breathalizer in the steering wheel, etc. I leaned over to difficult child and told her if she ever thought about drinking and driving she should remember this case.

    Her case was then called and the judge asked why she stole and she told him it was stupid and she was wrong and would never do it again and he asked if she was homeless and had no clothes and she said no. Then he gave her a lecture on stealing and how it costs everyone more money and how wrong it is when people work hard for their things and someone steals them and how would she feel if he let someone go to her house and take something of her and she would never get a job with a theft conviction and she would never get her vet tech license if that's what she wanted. She was polite and respectful, if a bit shallow in her responses. She does not think very deep at all, knows it's wrong to steal because that's what people tell her but beyond that there isn't much thinking. I do think she has learned a lesson and she remarked that he was tough and her attorney explained that if she ever thought about breaking the law again she should understand things would be a lot tougher.

    The judge told her to thank her attorney for getting her into the diversion program and he better never see her again. I was very impressed with the judge and was glad that difficult child saw first hand the wheels of justice and what could happen. Only time will tell if it had the effect on her that we hope it did and that she never wants to be in a courtroom again.
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Lordy I sure have my fingers crossed that it was not truly superficial for her. on the other hand she is a very lucky girl to have had professional intervention to give her one more chance...and I bet one more is the end of the chances. Hugs DDD
  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Glad to read your update; I hope her court experience today will sink in.
  14. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great update.

  15. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am glad she has the opportunity for a clean slate. I hope she takes this gift with gusto and uses it well. -RM
  16. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We pointed out to her this is a clean slate for her and it's up to her to keep it clean. Of course she promised she was going to but we all know what happnes to promises our difficult children make.

    I was a bit irritated as we were sitting in the lobby waiting for her attorney, there was this guy with long hair from the 70's and his female friend. He lived in California for years and just came back here. I guess he got arrested for pot because he said he hoped he would get his bowl back and they don't worry about pot in Cali yadda yadda. Not the kind of conversation I wanted difficult child to be listening to. Then he started talking about the young girl in Florida who was disrespectful to the judge and was fined and sent to jail and how that judge was too hard and she was just a kid blah blah. I couldn't keep my mouth shut and told him she was old enough to commit a crime so she should be old enough to know how to treat the courts with respect and that was just not very smart and perhaps it sent a message to all the others in court that day. Just another example of how quick some people are to excuse some behavior.
  17. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Yes, I saw the video of the girl in the FL courtroom. She was young, but old enough to know she was very inappropriate. Before she flipped off the judge, she was exaggeratedly flirting with him, very bizarre. He asked if she took any drugs that morning!
    The pot offender you saw the other day who was wondering if he would get his bowl back, should instead have wondered if he could ever lose his arrogant perspective and stop posturing for the benefit of his lady friend. He sure didn't sound sorry - only sorry that he got caught.
  18. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Number 1 lesson when you go into a courtroom, stand with your hands at your side or behind your back and say "yes your honor" "thank you your honor" "no you honor I will never do that again your honor". She must have watched enough cop shows on tv to know that. And if she doesn't know that now she does. I suspect she is just a disrespectful person to everyone.

    That guy was a loud mouth who thought he was funny. Talked all about how he wasn't allowed to walk through metal detectors and no one wanted to search him??? Thought he was tough, just a shame that he had to talk in front of young people who were in their own trouble. Even when his lawyer came in he acted like a jerk loudly telling him he wanted his case expunged.