difficult child got a Job...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Coookie, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Good Morning... :smile:

    Well, difficult child has been putting applications in all over the place and he had an interview yesterday and they offered him the job. :thumbsup: He, of course, accepted. :smile:

    It is kind of mixed, the feelings I am having though and I will explain.

    I work at the MSP Airport. It is like a big family with all the employee's knowing each other. It is a really fun environment. Our airport is like a shopping mall..many stores. :smile: There is a shop, an electronics shop, with quite a few young people working there and I know the manager and we were talking one day and he mentioned that they were hiring so I brought an application home to difficult child. He filled it out and they called him Tuesday (a week later) and he had his interview yesterday and they hired him. They get paid hourly plus commission on what they sell. :smile:

    He has to go through a background check and the badging process.. not sure how that will go but hoping for the best. :smile:

    Here is where the mixed feelings come in. :frown: I have worked there for awhile now, his store is directly across from mine.. I mean DIRECTLY. :faint: Soooooooo I am currently training myself not to pay attention to what they are doing. I told difficult child that this is his thing.. stand or fall.. I have nothing to do with it. :smile: There are a couple of the guys that work there that use pot, and have lost their licenses due to DWI's but I have let go of difficult child and know that his choices will be his choices. :smile:

    However, there is that little part of me that is afraid... afraid of what you may ask? :smile: The drug thing for one, failure for another... I could go on. I have a little struggle going on inside. Not a big one but just a nagging one. :frown: He is coming into my territory and I just hope he doesn't :stalker:... you can fill in the rest. :scared:

    BUT, difficult child has been doing well since he has been back... very well... and I'm choosing to look at the good that can come of this. He will be working with electronics, which he loves. It could turn into a long lasting career and he will have a job. :woohoo:

    husband and I have not been giving him money, nor has he asked for any but he seems to realize the importance of it. :smile:

    Since he has been back I have noticed that I still have some PTSD. At the first sign of what I think is a return to old behavior I react and each time it has not materialized into anything. :hammer: I have to retrain my brain I guess. :frown:

    I'm sure you can understand my mixed feelings. :frown:

    Please send all your good thoughts, and say a few prayers that this will turn into a wonderful thing. :smile:

    Hugs
     
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    :bravo: Congrats to difficult child!

    I totally understand about him being in your territory.
    It's so hard to not feel that their actions reflect on us. This is his thing, his job, his reputation, his performance. He stands alone on this one. (It's so much easier for me to say it than follow it).

    You can do this. :warrior:
     
  3. DiC

    DiC New Member

    Congratulations!! Prayers that all goes wonderfully!!!
     
  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Congratulations to difficult child. I hope this will be one step out of the pit he dug.
    It's hard to have our worlds collide. Having him near your work is stressful and potentially embarassing but the big picture is for him to find his niche. This may not last too long or it may grow to be a foothold.
    You no longer have to explain his successes or failures. You shrug your shoulders and say "difficult child who?"
    Just enjoy today that he got a job and he is following the right path. Hope for the best and have a back up plan for the worst.

    Today is a good day in Mrs. Coookie house.
     
  5. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Thank you JoG and DiC. :smile: and Fran.... You always crack me up. :rofl: :rofl: "difficult child who?" :rofl: :rofl:

    Hugs
     
  6. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Good news for difficult child! I understand the territory issue, too. :crazy2: So....will you two ride to work together?! :pet:

    Hope all goes well, thanks for keeping us in the loop!

    Peace
     
  7. Penta

    Penta New Member

    Focus on those positives...doing well, hired for a job in his field of interest, looking at schools...let go of the worries for now. It's hard, I know. My girl has done well for the past 2 years, but there is still that small glitch in the back of my mind that comes from so many years of anxiety and worry.

    Enjoy your son today and bask in his accomplishments!
     
  8. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Ponygirl,

    Maybe sometimes we will be riding together.. :pet: but difficult child has his own car and chances are his schedule will be different than mine. :smile: Parking there, when you work there, is a real PITB but he will have to figure that out himself. :smile:

    Penta,

    I will hold onto the good and take some deep breaths. I have gotten pretty good at keeping my mind focused on where it should be concerning difficult child but we all know how easy it is to slip back. His going to Arizona was a good thing for husband and I. We only heard about the bad things and could not do ANYTHING about them. That was good for us.. me especially. :smile:

    Hugs
     
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Good luck, Robby. I hope this works out well all around. Fingers crossed!

    Suz
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im glad C got a job! That should really be a good thing for him. In any situation there will be good and not so good people around him. Its his choice which he gravitates towards. Hopefully he has learned from past mistakes which path to take...lol.

    I can understand the trepidation of having him working so close to you. Tony goes into some sort of ptsd at the very idea of working with Cory...lol.
     
  11. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Well Coookie, I am please that he was so diligent in applying for the jobs. I must admit that him getting that job right opposite your workplace is a bit of a blow, but it doesn't look as if you have any choice in the matter, really.

    I hope and pray that he proves himself here, and that he will be a source of pride for you, and nothing else. (well, one can always hope can't one?).

    Sending you a lovely hug (do you remember the real ones?)

    Love, Esther
     
  12. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Cookie, good for him. I can understand the close quarters in the workplace, difficult child worked at the same place I did for years and I hated it, I would constantly be looking for his car to see if he showed up or checking his hours to see if he worked what he was supposed to be working. You seem to be right on top of it and I am sure you will be fine. Like you said he has been doing so well. I think what your feeling is only natural in this case given what you know about the other fellows that work there.

    On another note, its nice to see you around, I have missed seeing your posts.

    Grace :princess:
     
  13. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Wow! I'm impressed that he got a job :thumbsup: That is a major step in the right direction. I can totally understand your fear. I don't think I would want my difficult child working in the same city with me. :rofl:

    Does his boss know that he is a difficult child?

    Steph
     
  14. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    difficult child working anywhere near where I worked would have been very hard for me too, Coookie. I so understand what you mean about the PTSD reaction. It affects everything we do and think, and is so hard to function through.

    Maybe, if he finds himself tempted to engage in those old behaviors, it will help difficult child to know you are right across the way?

    He must love and trust you very much, to have accepted a job so close to where you are working.

    In a way then, this is a really good thing.

    You will be there, near enough to function as a role model and mentor for difficult child to get over those first hurdles, those first introductory months on the job when we are defining who we are, both to ourselves and to those we work with.

    Yet, you are far enough away that he CAN make those choices for himself.

    When you look at it that way, the reason to hope that your presence will help difficult child to be stronger as he takes these first steps toward re-establishing himself in the world is a good enough reason to counteract the PTSD stuff.

    Not that it will go away, but that it is worth it, if difficult child makes it.

    And it is worth it.

    It has helped us to repeat that we need to remain uninvolved in the outcome. All those little questions that come up about when to help or how to advise find their answers there.

    You need to remain uninvolved in the outcome, too.

    You are pulling for difficult child to succeed, but that is all you CAN do.

    Wish him well, and remind yourself that he was raised to know how to make the right choices.

    I will say again that he must love, and trust you, very much.


    :smile:


    Barbara
     
  15. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Once again, thank you all for your support.

    Esther, I do remember the real hugs. :)

    Barbara, Your words are always thought provoking. I have been conditioning myself to not look over at that store and continue to say to myself "This is difficult children thing, he will stand or fall on his own. " :) It might be a bit harder when he actually starts but I figure I have a running start. LOL

    I don't know if it's that he loves and trusts me... the reason for accepting that job or if it is the fact that he is tired of not having money? I would love to think it is the love and trust thing though.

    He got a call from NW Airlines ... letting him know they were reviewing his application so difficult child says that if they hire him he will work there part time too.

    We should find out today or tomorrow if he passed the background check and if he did he should be starting his job this week sometime. Everything is crossed here. :)

    On a different note: I had to open the store Sat. and Sun... which means leaving the house at 4:30am. Guess who got up both days and drove me? difficult child!!!!!!!! He even picked me up. He did this because he "Didn't mind". I certainly hope things continue as they are for the Coookie house. Funny thing is I find myself wondering if I am the one who has really changed. :)

    Hugs
     
  16. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    I am glad he got the job! I think he will make you proud.

    Good Job "C"

    Lia
     
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