difficult child got into a fight today

[Chrissy]

UGHH I had a whole thing written and then it was gone.

He got into a fight with some kid we had trouble with a few years ago, just a plain ole mean kid who used to flip us off when we'd be sitting outside. Well I guess he shoved Zack and he tried to ignore him and the kid kept at him so Zack knock him to the floor and hit him. The kid went and told on him. Now Zack is on probabtion and needs to behave, no matter what. His probabtion officer was called and she talked to him as well as checking back in on Friday with him. He has never been physcial with anyone before. He has raised his fist to me and has been mean towards his sister when he has had enough from her but never really hit anyone. I'm worried cause this kid is the type to tell him mommy and she will call the cops. I surely don't need a police officer showing up at my house tonight.

A question I did have was is it a good idea to keep a journel on him?? I mean I have a notebook for his visits with questions and such but what about a daily journel?

 

[SnowAngel]

I am so sorry. We teach our kids to look the other way and not react when provoked, then you have the persistent kid who keeps annoying and provoking until your kid reacts. Thats horrible. Most law enforcement take a childs disorder into consideration. I know it isn't what you want but maybe if the mom does call the officer can explain a few things to this other kid. If it were my boy the other kid would be black and blue no doubt. My boys fight each other at home until they draw blood.
:sword:

I keep a journal on my boys, one for each. It helps to be able to look back at moods, behavior and events without having to fry my brain trying to remember...I have 7 kids in the house, and things do slip my mind.

I also document if there are problems with teachers, other kids or people in their care. It probably wouldnt hurt for you to keep a journal. The more info you have the better off you will be. I do mine on my computer and print out the info if needed.

Keep us posted, please.

 

[Hound dog]

Desari gave you good advice on the journals and such.

I wouldn't worry too over much over the police and such. difficult child didn't provoke this fight. And what do they expect him to do, sit there and let this kid beat him to a pulp?

Everyone, including a difficult child, has the right to defend themselves against violence.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this sort of thing. Have you contacted the school?

Hugs

 

[Marguerite]

Yes, keep a journal. If the police visit don't let it get to you, just explain the situation and show them what you DO have in the journal.

And yes, keeping a journal is really good. Like Desari, ours is on the computer. Because difficult child 3 is at home now, I don't have to keep a Communication Book going with the school. I do add to it whenever there is something of interest or something important.
For example, something I need to add - because difficult child 3 was in a movie in January (along with difficult child 1 & easy child 2/difficult child 2) he got a pay cheque, even though he's only 13. Like all pay cheques, they withheld tax and superannuation
The mail came yesterday - the superannuation company sent him a letter. difficult child 3 was reading this official mail sent to him, analysing the officialese as he went - " It says here, 'We've noticed there haven't been any employer contributions paid into your superannuation account for a while'.. that's because I HAVE NO EMPLOYER, idiots."
I was surprised and impressed - some of these official letters can be complicated. He read ahead - if he is "taking a break from the workforce" he doesn't have to do anything, he just has to keep the letter safe as a record that somewhere, some money has been invested in his name. If he gets a job later on, the accounts can be kept separate, or merged - his choice.

That deserves to go in the journal. I might also put in the superannuation details, so if the letter ever gets lost, the account number and company name are still on our files and we can backtrack and sort things out.

Chrissy, to save losing words you've worked on, draft your replies into a text file then copy and paste. Your computer should be able to multitask to that extent; most can these days.

Marg

 

[Chrissy]

Thanks for the advice. Well no police showed up, the probabtion officer took care of all that she said. I'm curious as to how his day so going today. From his after school program they were talking those students on a field trip to a soup kitchen and he was one of those choosen. I talked to the guidence counsler and she knows the history between the two boys and she did say (from what others said) Zack did try and walk away from him, but he kept calling him names. The other kid is the type who is all talk but when it comes to the showdown he runs and tells to get you in trouble. I am keeping a journel only wish I'd thought of one sooner. I did keep one for when his bio dad was visting and it helped me lots in court. So I guess we will see what today brings us when he comes home.
Thanks again. :smile:

 

[SnowAngel]

I am so glad things are going well and people noticed your son trying to avoid the conflict..Way to go!! :bravo:

As for the journal, even though you havent started one up until now, you can still add things you recall. Even without accurate times and dates it can still help. Dont stress on it, but if you remember something jot it down.

Your son clearly has had people who have noticed his behavior and obviously if he was that bad he wouldn't have been chosen for the field trip..Great job! :smile:

 

[crazymama30]

A journal is a good idea, as everyone said. For me it helps to track difficult child's moods, so I can more clearly see what is going on. Sometimes when we are so close, we are too close and it can be hard to see what is in front of our face. I do not keep mine in the computer, my computer is so old it should be dead already.