difficult child got into ANOTHER fight

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearthope, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I just felt the need to share this tonight. I am overtired and having mixed feelings.

    easy child got a call at her job (again :mad:) (another reason I am considering the trip)

    It was the oldest difficult child he is staying with begging her to convince her bro to go to the hospital to get his face and head checked out.

    The three G'sFG had been at the lake and some man for no reason attacked my son with a tire iron hitting him in his head and face.

    Of course this upset her, but she told him to let her talk to him. He refused to call the police (because I am sure he started it) and he refused treatment. Over the course of several hours the difficult child's mom convinced him to go to the hospital and they stitched him up. easy child called him and he said I am okay don't tell mom what happened!

    She didn't tell me until this morning and at first I felt SSOO guilty. Here is another mom taking my son to the emergency room. I had so many questions to ask about his care, his aftertreatment, I wanted to hear his voice! Did he still have his medicaid card from rehab? How did he pay if he didn't?

    I told easy child I had to call to find these things out and she said mom if you call he will know I told you.

    I never made the call. I let it go. Hard, hard, hard...

    Just needed to share....

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You did the right thing, although I know it was hard. I know you're worried about him. (I would be too after a beating like that) But be grateful he listened to this other Mom and sought medical help.

    There is no reason for you to feel guilty. You wouldn't even have known what happened if it wasn't for easy child. difficult child's choices have consequences. I'm hoping he's thinking about that.

  3. KFld

    KFld New Member


    Hang in there and don't feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong.
  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Thinking of you and your family....it's not easy, but you must keep thinking his choices are HIS. Can't imagine they really thought easy child would not tell you eventually....even if a day later. He's still alive and kicking, so forget the guilt.....you are doing well with detaching, so keep it up.....
  5. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Traci, I hate when they get hurt. sigh. as long as they continue to live dangerously, things will happen. since he will not listen to your advice to get clean, he will have to find other ways to get help when he is hurting. seems he will. you have to stick to your guns to make a point.

    once ant was in a drugged rage and grabbed a pop can, slipping his finger into the rim. he nearly cut it off. a buddy he was drugging with called the ambulance. when they got ant to the ER he jumped out and ran away because he didnt want them to know he was high. the ambulance guy had taped the finger tight. ant never got care for it and has a deep scar on the finger.

    I hate to see the scar on his face too. it is just below the eye. it reminds me of the night he got his face kicked in outside a bar til his eye nearly fell out. he had been mouthing off in the bar and two guys kicked the life nearly out of him when he stepped out. someone poured him out the car on my door middle of the night. I opened the door to ant bloody to the shoes. he was blind a few days. he refused to go to the hospital. I called the cops and the ambulance. ant fought so hard not to go that when they pepper sprayed him I got sprayed in the eyes too.

    the next day he was taken in and had multiple facial problems and an eye nearly knocked out. eyes swollen shut a long time. he STILL would not listen and kept up that lifestyle about a year longer. I told him not to come to me bloody anymore. call 911.

    he was mugged last month. a gun to his head, no one hit him but they robbed him. he was coming out of a bar drunk and stumbling. he did call 911 and was taken to the police station. he would not press charges.

    he has now learned to stay out of bars I hope unless he is with a friend. hard lesson

    I know you are worried sick. been there done that they are so danged stubborn.
  6. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I needed to hear that I shouldn't feel guilty, thanks!

    It is ingrained in a mom to protect...if you don't I guess you always second guess yourself.

    Hopefully he will get tired of being the center of chaos...

    I remind myself that if I help him it will only prolong his drug abusive lifestyle.

    Traci :flower: