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difficult child got sold
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 612944" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>By friends, attachment and bonding I wasn't really meaning any lifelong ties. Those don't happen most of the time in those circles and lifestyle is nomadic. There are some who end up to be a 'Club icon' and may play even their whole career for the same team, but that has never been the goal with difficult child. What I meant were more the basic team player skills and being part of the team. Or at least pretending.</p><p></p><p>And by friends I meant someone to have a lunch with or chat while warm-ups or even occasionally playing console game in someone's flat at the evening. Or being invited to bar hopping when half of the team is going together. That kind of things, not BFF stuff.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is capable of deep attachments, that is not something I would be worried about. While not many close friends, he is very attached to our family, both me, husband and Joy but also our extended family. He also has this mentor figure he is close with. He did have age appropriately deep romantic relationship for two years and so on. Deep attachment don't worry me much with him. He could have more friends, but it is not like he didn't have some very close relationships with people.</p><p></p><p>However, difficult child team skills are borderline to being 'locker room cancer.' He did learn a lot while in the last (and year before) season team. But he still has ways to go and being a hired gun will not be helping. They do expect certain commitment to the team from the players and that certainly doesn't come naturally for difficult child. While he is so very over competitive that he would never not do his very best at the game, he has had hard time getting his head wrapped around the idea that he should be interested if they win or lose when he isn't playing. Or even being interested if they win or lose the games he plays in and not just if he himself did well or not.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has been known to throw a temper tantrum after important win, because he wasn't happy with his own game. Or to be totally nonchalant after devastating loss, because he did well. And I certainly hope that I never again have to read a game recap with whole paragraph of how difficult child spent whole game showing only interest to support structures of the arena and almost got a ball on to his head because not watching a game a bit, when he was on the bench and didn't play (yes he was protesting and pouting because of the coach decision not to give him playing time.)</p><p></p><p>His former longer time team did work with him on these a lot and he did show some improvement. Started to show interest even when not playing himself. Congratulating or trying to console team mates after they did well/bad, celebrating wins even when bench and so on. That kind of things are very important in his profession and I do fear he may backslide, if he doesn't get to be a real part of the team again soon.</p><p></p><p>And of course, let's face it. Team management and coaches treat their long term investments and their rentals very differently. difficult child is still in the place of needing lots of careful development; rentals don't get that.</p><p></p><p>Liahona: difficult child will certainly not get the type of support he had in his last year team. But situation may be better with coaches than in his team this fall. The original coaches in this team were fired little over a month ago and difficult child really didn't respect his new, very inexperienced, positional coach and while head coach was a solid pro difficult child's behaviour was backsliding a lot. In this new team difficult child will have one coach he does know a little before and he does respect him. And the coach is certainly experienced and used to handle also the hard-headed cases.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 612944, member: 14557"] By friends, attachment and bonding I wasn't really meaning any lifelong ties. Those don't happen most of the time in those circles and lifestyle is nomadic. There are some who end up to be a 'Club icon' and may play even their whole career for the same team, but that has never been the goal with difficult child. What I meant were more the basic team player skills and being part of the team. Or at least pretending. And by friends I meant someone to have a lunch with or chat while warm-ups or even occasionally playing console game in someone's flat at the evening. Or being invited to bar hopping when half of the team is going together. That kind of things, not BFF stuff. difficult child is capable of deep attachments, that is not something I would be worried about. While not many close friends, he is very attached to our family, both me, husband and Joy but also our extended family. He also has this mentor figure he is close with. He did have age appropriately deep romantic relationship for two years and so on. Deep attachment don't worry me much with him. He could have more friends, but it is not like he didn't have some very close relationships with people. However, difficult child team skills are borderline to being 'locker room cancer.' He did learn a lot while in the last (and year before) season team. But he still has ways to go and being a hired gun will not be helping. They do expect certain commitment to the team from the players and that certainly doesn't come naturally for difficult child. While he is so very over competitive that he would never not do his very best at the game, he has had hard time getting his head wrapped around the idea that he should be interested if they win or lose when he isn't playing. Or even being interested if they win or lose the games he plays in and not just if he himself did well or not. difficult child has been known to throw a temper tantrum after important win, because he wasn't happy with his own game. Or to be totally nonchalant after devastating loss, because he did well. And I certainly hope that I never again have to read a game recap with whole paragraph of how difficult child spent whole game showing only interest to support structures of the arena and almost got a ball on to his head because not watching a game a bit, when he was on the bench and didn't play (yes he was protesting and pouting because of the coach decision not to give him playing time.) His former longer time team did work with him on these a lot and he did show some improvement. Started to show interest even when not playing himself. Congratulating or trying to console team mates after they did well/bad, celebrating wins even when bench and so on. That kind of things are very important in his profession and I do fear he may backslide, if he doesn't get to be a real part of the team again soon. And of course, let's face it. Team management and coaches treat their long term investments and their rentals very differently. difficult child is still in the place of needing lots of careful development; rentals don't get that. Liahona: difficult child will certainly not get the type of support he had in his last year team. But situation may be better with coaches than in his team this fall. The original coaches in this team were fired little over a month ago and difficult child really didn't respect his new, very inexperienced, positional coach and while head coach was a solid pro difficult child's behaviour was backsliding a lot. In this new team difficult child will have one coach he does know a little before and he does respect him. And the coach is certainly experienced and used to handle also the hard-headed cases. [/QUOTE]
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