difficult child had a good b-day yesterday, I think

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I think that difficult child had a nice birthday yesterday. She had her riding lessons yesterday like every Sat. And, she found out that on Wed. she is going to start cantering and doing ground jumps. So, that made her very happy. Then, when we got home she showered and we went to dinner and shopping to buy her present. She had asked for a train case from Sephora to keep all of her makeup in. Overall, it was a great day. She was on time for everything and had no real issues. Sometimes it is really hard to tell, but I think she had a good evening.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Give her a big birthday hug! Glad she had a good day. I guess sometimes we can just take those days for what they are worth, a nice break and reminder of the real child inside all the turmoil.

    Glad her riding lesson went well. Q 's did too. he challenged me to get on the horse so I did and he thought that was hysterical. He wanted me to ride with him... he has also really wanted me to stay and watch him. That is such a big change in our attachment level. He is seeking me for safety. I know it in part reflects a hugely different state of anxiety lately which makes me sad but it also means there is some pay off to all that attachment work.

    Horses are a good good thing!
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So glad it was calm. Some difficult child's do not do well on birthdays or holidays, too hign anxiety and expectations. My two were like that. easy child/difficult child was good with whatever, as was easy child. But the other two.... I usually wanted to strangle them by the time the day was less than half over.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2012
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Buddy, horses are an amazing thing. difficult child loves her riding lessons. If I could afford it I would have her out there every day. She has to even use some of her DBT skills while she is there. It was funny the first time I heard her instructor tell her to be mindful of what she was doing and to stay in the moment. She doesn't take therapeutic lessons, so it was kind of funny to hear that. She takes direction without question there. It is so good for her to "follow orders" without arguing or questioning why it has to be a certain way. She just does it. I think it really has a lot to do with her instructor. She is just amazing. She just gets difficult child. And I have never told instructor about difficult child's gfgness.
    RM- holidays tend to be a major source of stress around here too. This Christmas was horrid. I really thought that difficult child and I would be staying home while husband and easy child traveled to visit family. Birthdays seem to follow suit. I do not know if difficult child sets up in her mind what will happen, and when it doesn't follow exactly what she imagines she loses it, or if it is just too much of everything. But by the end someone is usually crying or screaming. Not this year. We just did everything at her pace, and let her make all of the decisions. I was very happy how it turned out.
    We still have a long way to go, but we are getting there. And, if you had told me we would be at this point back in Nov. or Dec. I would have never believed you.
  5. somerset

    somerset Member

    Our kids are only a week apart! I'm glad she had a happy day.