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difficult child had a rough night
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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 27357" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>Well, when her mother first got arrested, a little over two years ago now, they were having visitation at the jail...at the county jail she is in, they absolutely do not allow contact visits, it must all be done on their "phone" through the glass. It was actually kind of sad, because when they FINALLY moved her bio mom from county jail to real prison, our difficult child was SO EXCITED because she WAS allowed contact visits at that facility. </p><p></p><p>The other stressful part of the situation that was uncomfortable for us was that when I called bio mom's boyfriend to get the details of what was going on, he asked me not to tell our difficult child WHY her mom was put back in jail, because she was worried that our difficult child would be "Mad" at her if she found out she failed a drug test. He asked if I would give him until today to talk things over with bio mom and try to smooth the idea into her. I told him straight forwardly that we would not lie, but that I may be able to give him some time if that is what she really wanted. So at first, we tried to tell difficult child that mom was back in custody, but that we weren't sure what all the details were as to why, but that we were trying to find out. THEN, our difficult child decides to call her Aunt (bio mom's sister), who comes out with a horrible lie to lighten the whole mess, which I refused to tolerate. So, against the wishes of her bio mom, I went ahead and told her what we knew, even though I said I wouldn't.</p><p></p><p>But I feel that we made the right choice, because I had already told bio mom's boyfriend that we would not LIE about it, and I didn't really want ANYONE to lie about it...</p><p></p><p>It is one thing for me to put her off for a matter of 24 hours to give mom some time to prepare herself, but it is quite another for someone who's business this is NONE of decides to make the choices for our child and chooses to lie to cover up a situation. I do feel bad that I prematurely revealed information I had said I would keep quiet, but I was not going to allow her to be lied to. </p><p></p><p>I think this may be her last visitation with her bio mom for a while, because she is supposed to be evaluated on Monday for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to focus on her drug problem, and if she is admitted, they will not allow her any visitors for a period of time, and it is still up in the air what will happen to her when she completes the program (whether or not she goes back to prison afterwards). If she does not qualify for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) program, she will be returned to Prison where she will carry out the remainder of her sentence that she was parolled from...which if that happens, our difficult child will be nearly 18 by the time she gets out again!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 27357, member: 3527"] Well, when her mother first got arrested, a little over two years ago now, they were having visitation at the jail...at the county jail she is in, they absolutely do not allow contact visits, it must all be done on their "phone" through the glass. It was actually kind of sad, because when they FINALLY moved her bio mom from county jail to real prison, our difficult child was SO EXCITED because she WAS allowed contact visits at that facility. The other stressful part of the situation that was uncomfortable for us was that when I called bio mom's boyfriend to get the details of what was going on, he asked me not to tell our difficult child WHY her mom was put back in jail, because she was worried that our difficult child would be "Mad" at her if she found out she failed a drug test. He asked if I would give him until today to talk things over with bio mom and try to smooth the idea into her. I told him straight forwardly that we would not lie, but that I may be able to give him some time if that is what she really wanted. So at first, we tried to tell difficult child that mom was back in custody, but that we weren't sure what all the details were as to why, but that we were trying to find out. THEN, our difficult child decides to call her Aunt (bio mom's sister), who comes out with a horrible lie to lighten the whole mess, which I refused to tolerate. So, against the wishes of her bio mom, I went ahead and told her what we knew, even though I said I wouldn't. But I feel that we made the right choice, because I had already told bio mom's boyfriend that we would not LIE about it, and I didn't really want ANYONE to lie about it... It is one thing for me to put her off for a matter of 24 hours to give mom some time to prepare herself, but it is quite another for someone who's business this is NONE of decides to make the choices for our child and chooses to lie to cover up a situation. I do feel bad that I prematurely revealed information I had said I would keep quiet, but I was not going to allow her to be lied to. I think this may be her last visitation with her bio mom for a while, because she is supposed to be evaluated on Monday for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to focus on her drug problem, and if she is admitted, they will not allow her any visitors for a period of time, and it is still up in the air what will happen to her when she completes the program (whether or not she goes back to prison afterwards). If she does not qualify for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) program, she will be returned to Prison where she will carry out the remainder of her sentence that she was parolled from...which if that happens, our difficult child will be nearly 18 by the time she gets out again! [/QUOTE]
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