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Parent Emeritus
difficult child had his psychiatrist appointment and has a diagnosis - finally
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 539815" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I agree, it can knock you off your feet to actually hear the name. You have said that you think he has problems from that before and you were hearing more about the bullying now...but there is NO WAY you could have known how awful it was. It is not your fault. And, I'm no PTSD expert, but I suspect you are right, it doesn't account for all of it, maybe there is an impulsive or executive functioning thing going on too? One bright side is there are more treatments for this now and some that are very good. Some here have had their difficult child's go through some of the treatments and I think I've heard some of the parents say they have too.</p><p></p><p>In his situation, if he can get appropriate treatment and maybe some social skills support as he is now (he has learned some inappropriate coping skills and needs help to learn better still, and he does seem to respond to very direct teaching and methods because he is motivated).... he might not need them. The trial and error thing with medications is tough anyway, and given his addictive personality it might not be a good idea to try, even beyond the side effects that could affect his sport. But if it comes to quality of life, or any kind of life, at some point he may need to try something. As long as he is making progress though, it actually seems reasonable to try therapy first, just MHO of course.</p><p></p><p>Big caring hug for you, and please be kind to yourself. I do have lots of regrets about things like stopping a certain therapy or not pushing hard enough to know what was going on in school etc. But we do what we do with what we know at those moments. My heart breaks for him. (Q just told me in the last month that he is gonna act like a bully since that is what they all did to him, I knew one boy was rough on him but had no idea and now that he is gone from that school, the stories are coming out....SOOO frustrating). Of course I wish I had investigated that and could have protected him. But I didn't know. He was supposed to have had adults around him at all times. yet.............. it was nothing so severe as what your difficult child has said happened. So I can only imagine. you are a very caring and supportive mom, CLEARLY! He is likely doing as well as he is because of the support from his family through some terrible situations. None of us are mind readers nor perfect. But no doubts, you are a wonderful mom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 539815, member: 12886"] I agree, it can knock you off your feet to actually hear the name. You have said that you think he has problems from that before and you were hearing more about the bullying now...but there is NO WAY you could have known how awful it was. It is not your fault. And, I'm no PTSD expert, but I suspect you are right, it doesn't account for all of it, maybe there is an impulsive or executive functioning thing going on too? One bright side is there are more treatments for this now and some that are very good. Some here have had their difficult child's go through some of the treatments and I think I've heard some of the parents say they have too. In his situation, if he can get appropriate treatment and maybe some social skills support as he is now (he has learned some inappropriate coping skills and needs help to learn better still, and he does seem to respond to very direct teaching and methods because he is motivated).... he might not need them. The trial and error thing with medications is tough anyway, and given his addictive personality it might not be a good idea to try, even beyond the side effects that could affect his sport. But if it comes to quality of life, or any kind of life, at some point he may need to try something. As long as he is making progress though, it actually seems reasonable to try therapy first, just MHO of course. Big caring hug for you, and please be kind to yourself. I do have lots of regrets about things like stopping a certain therapy or not pushing hard enough to know what was going on in school etc. But we do what we do with what we know at those moments. My heart breaks for him. (Q just told me in the last month that he is gonna act like a bully since that is what they all did to him, I knew one boy was rough on him but had no idea and now that he is gone from that school, the stories are coming out....SOOO frustrating). Of course I wish I had investigated that and could have protected him. But I didn't know. He was supposed to have had adults around him at all times. yet.............. it was nothing so severe as what your difficult child has said happened. So I can only imagine. you are a very caring and supportive mom, CLEARLY! He is likely doing as well as he is because of the support from his family through some terrible situations. None of us are mind readers nor perfect. But no doubts, you are a wonderful mom. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child had his psychiatrist appointment and has a diagnosis - finally
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