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difficult child had his psychiatrist appointment and has a diagnosis - finally
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 539934" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Hound dog: I do try to keep in mind he is indeed the same kid, he has always been and I did remind also himself about that. He did call me again later and confessed that he had not told about psychiatrist appointment to his girlfriend beforehand and he was nervous telling her this. They have special event this coming weekend and I advised him to consider waiting over the weekend before telling about it. Reminded him that girlfriend knows him already, has seen some symptoms, having a name to that doesn't change him and girlfriend is likely to understand that. But that it could be smart to tell girlfriend that PTSD is usually not quite as dramatic in reality than in TV and share reading material psychiatrist gave him with girlfriend. And that he should expect girlfriend to be angry and hurt for him keeping things from her, not because he is now having this label. </p><p></p><p>buddy: I checked local recommendations for treatment of PTSD and in them the therapy seems to be the first line treatment and medications are added, if needed. They may be needed in some point also with difficult child but I too feel it may not be now. He is not depressed so he doesn't need medications for that and his anxiety is not bad enough/frequent enough to really need medications. And difficult child doesn't want to try anything now. I can understand that. There has been a lot of media attention locally about how SSRIs are currently over-prescribed and doctors don't take side effects seriously enough. Most attention has been given to weight gain and sexual dysfunctions in these discussions. To be honest I think the side effects difficult child is dreading are the sexual ones. He did talk something vague about dizziness etc. and then about 'the other side effects.' I could bet he was meaning the sexual dysfunctions and I can totally see why. He is a young guy who just moved to live together with girlfriend, I think it is perfectly normal he doesn't want anything messing his libido or to have any other adverse sexual effects from medications. And if he is not really needing them right now...</p><p></p><p>For me guilt is something I probably need to get a handle first. While I did try my best with difficult child, my best wasn't always good enough and he pays the price. Of course perfect parents don't exist and my best was the best I could do and difficult child certainly is not perfect son himself so we just have to deal with it. I do have an inkling that there may be a time when difficult child will need to pour all this onto me and I would like to be in place there I could take it without becoming defensive or desperate and instead be strong for him. Now he is being very careful not to make me feel guilty. When he told what had happened to him he several times told how he hadn't told us, how we could not had done anything to prevent it etc. That was very nice of him, he can indeed be very sweet boy at times.</p><p></p><p>Overall I have been very impressed with his attitude lately. He really is motivated and wants to work out his issues. He really tries. And he has mostly been very mature. I'm very proud of him. And think his attitude is a huge thing. With his stubbornness and intensity there is no stopping him, when he really puts his mind onto something. I do hope that principle works also in this. </p><p></p><p>It's not only me who feels guilt ridden right now in our house. My husband has even worse case of guilt over this. There was a time when we really tried everything to fight difficult child's stubborn truancy. One thing we tried was to very consistently and harshly punish him on that. First with other methods, but later in our desperation also with spankings. That only made difficult child worse and he was incredibly provocative about it. Laughed in husband's face during the spanking etc. Or maybe I should say whipping, husband was harsh with him to begin with and due frustration and difficult child being very provocative it escalated till it was truly abusive. We were well over the line when we finally understood what we were doing and deserted corporal punishment. it only made difficult child worse and husband was starting to really hurt and do some damage to him. We felt awfully guilty at that time, when we understood what we were doing and it isn't any easier now, when it seems apparent that difficult child refused school because bullying made it pure torture for him. So the poor kid was skipping school to avoid being beaten at school only to be beaten at home. What a situation for him. Thinking of that is also the reason that keeps me awake now even though I should have been sleeping hours already. My heart just keeps breaking over difficult child again and again <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/crying.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":crying:" title="crying :crying:" data-shortname=":crying:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 539934, member: 14557"] Hound dog: I do try to keep in mind he is indeed the same kid, he has always been and I did remind also himself about that. He did call me again later and confessed that he had not told about psychiatrist appointment to his girlfriend beforehand and he was nervous telling her this. They have special event this coming weekend and I advised him to consider waiting over the weekend before telling about it. Reminded him that girlfriend knows him already, has seen some symptoms, having a name to that doesn't change him and girlfriend is likely to understand that. But that it could be smart to tell girlfriend that PTSD is usually not quite as dramatic in reality than in TV and share reading material psychiatrist gave him with girlfriend. And that he should expect girlfriend to be angry and hurt for him keeping things from her, not because he is now having this label. buddy: I checked local recommendations for treatment of PTSD and in them the therapy seems to be the first line treatment and medications are added, if needed. They may be needed in some point also with difficult child but I too feel it may not be now. He is not depressed so he doesn't need medications for that and his anxiety is not bad enough/frequent enough to really need medications. And difficult child doesn't want to try anything now. I can understand that. There has been a lot of media attention locally about how SSRIs are currently over-prescribed and doctors don't take side effects seriously enough. Most attention has been given to weight gain and sexual dysfunctions in these discussions. To be honest I think the side effects difficult child is dreading are the sexual ones. He did talk something vague about dizziness etc. and then about 'the other side effects.' I could bet he was meaning the sexual dysfunctions and I can totally see why. He is a young guy who just moved to live together with girlfriend, I think it is perfectly normal he doesn't want anything messing his libido or to have any other adverse sexual effects from medications. And if he is not really needing them right now... For me guilt is something I probably need to get a handle first. While I did try my best with difficult child, my best wasn't always good enough and he pays the price. Of course perfect parents don't exist and my best was the best I could do and difficult child certainly is not perfect son himself so we just have to deal with it. I do have an inkling that there may be a time when difficult child will need to pour all this onto me and I would like to be in place there I could take it without becoming defensive or desperate and instead be strong for him. Now he is being very careful not to make me feel guilty. When he told what had happened to him he several times told how he hadn't told us, how we could not had done anything to prevent it etc. That was very nice of him, he can indeed be very sweet boy at times. Overall I have been very impressed with his attitude lately. He really is motivated and wants to work out his issues. He really tries. And he has mostly been very mature. I'm very proud of him. And think his attitude is a huge thing. With his stubbornness and intensity there is no stopping him, when he really puts his mind onto something. I do hope that principle works also in this. It's not only me who feels guilt ridden right now in our house. My husband has even worse case of guilt over this. There was a time when we really tried everything to fight difficult child's stubborn truancy. One thing we tried was to very consistently and harshly punish him on that. First with other methods, but later in our desperation also with spankings. That only made difficult child worse and he was incredibly provocative about it. Laughed in husband's face during the spanking etc. Or maybe I should say whipping, husband was harsh with him to begin with and due frustration and difficult child being very provocative it escalated till it was truly abusive. We were well over the line when we finally understood what we were doing and deserted corporal punishment. it only made difficult child worse and husband was starting to really hurt and do some damage to him. We felt awfully guilty at that time, when we understood what we were doing and it isn't any easier now, when it seems apparent that difficult child refused school because bullying made it pure torture for him. So the poor kid was skipping school to avoid being beaten at school only to be beaten at home. What a situation for him. Thinking of that is also the reason that keeps me awake now even though I should have been sleeping hours already. My heart just keeps breaking over difficult child again and again :crying: [/QUOTE]
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difficult child had his psychiatrist appointment and has a diagnosis - finally
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