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Parent Emeritus
difficult child has been gone 10 days
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 68204" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>If the money is hers, I'd give it to her. Legally, she has a right to it. If you contributed to the account for specific purposes (school, car, etc.), I would take that money out and put it in a separate account or simply say it is my money, it is not being used as planned and spend it on something special for me. I would make it abundantly clear that once this money is gone there will be no more and mean it. No matter what, you won't bail her out financially. </p><p></p><p>My daughter was like yours -- just had to move out, just had to spend every dime she had, just had to quit her job within days of leaving home, just had to be overdrawn because she had no money. The first two times, I paid her overdraft fees, I paid her friends the money she owed. The last time, I let her come home but I would not pay for her mistakes. She's had to find a way to make thihgs right with everyone. It caused her some problems -- she has some friends who will no longer talk to her, she has a Hollywood Video account in collections but she's making arrangements on her own to fix this, she no longer has a checking account, her credit ratring is a wreck. However, she is taking care of her problems, she is showing some responsibility and some maturity and I don't have to hear her whine about money. I simply say, "Sorry, hon, you're an adult. You'll have to figure out a way to take care of it." If she explicitly asks for advice on an issue, I will give her an answer on that question only. It's saved a lot of battles.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 68204, member: 3626"] If the money is hers, I'd give it to her. Legally, she has a right to it. If you contributed to the account for specific purposes (school, car, etc.), I would take that money out and put it in a separate account or simply say it is my money, it is not being used as planned and spend it on something special for me. I would make it abundantly clear that once this money is gone there will be no more and mean it. No matter what, you won't bail her out financially. My daughter was like yours -- just had to move out, just had to spend every dime she had, just had to quit her job within days of leaving home, just had to be overdrawn because she had no money. The first two times, I paid her overdraft fees, I paid her friends the money she owed. The last time, I let her come home but I would not pay for her mistakes. She's had to find a way to make thihgs right with everyone. It caused her some problems -- she has some friends who will no longer talk to her, she has a Hollywood Video account in collections but she's making arrangements on her own to fix this, she no longer has a checking account, her credit ratring is a wreck. However, she is taking care of her problems, she is showing some responsibility and some maturity and I don't have to hear her whine about money. I simply say, "Sorry, hon, you're an adult. You'll have to figure out a way to take care of it." If she explicitly asks for advice on an issue, I will give her an answer on that question only. It's saved a lot of battles. [/QUOTE]
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