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difficult child has me exhausted watching him
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 28171" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm copying this to my daughter to see if she can answer the question, "Why isn't he in hospital?" I'm afraid there may be two possible answers, concurrent:</p><p></p><p>1) This is Australia, folks. They don't put kids in hospital lightly. I agree, it's where he should be but we have a health system currently in crisis. Plus, he's an angel for the psychiatric people so they're not seeing how bad it is. They have to take the mother's word for it. Which brings us to</p><p></p><p>2) Paula, you're a single mum trying to cope and clearly you're stressed, you're uptight, you're constantly tense and definitely not coping (hey, I wonder why? ;}). This is what THEY see and they don't see the chicken/egg scenario. It's easier to assume it's the single mother who's not coping, rather than a child needing hospitalisation. After all, if they hospitalise the child without good cause (in hindsight) then they're in BIG trouble with HIC (Health Insurance Commission) for overservicing. </p><p></p><p>I was talking to another single mother tonight, who has had HUGE problems with her daughter, who has only JUST been diagnosed, after at least four years of looking for answers, with the worst form of juvenile sleep apnoea that the doctor has seen. This kid could DIE and it's taken them years, because it was easier to assume it was bad parenting. In four years of school this kid has attended barely a single term in total, because her mother simply can't wake her. So they have dealt with it by calling in the truant officer. This isn't truancy, it's medical. And after four years the doctors are finally panicking and no longer blaming the mother for being a single, working-class parent. The mother plans to write a book on it. I said she should get input from other mothers in a similar situation. This is wrong and happens far too often.</p><p></p><p>Paula, I really don't know what you can do other than what you ARE doing. If you could get a camera to record any of this it would be very helpful, but I don't know if you could manage this with his destructiveness. He's also very smart. Even a tape recorder would be something. Can you ring and leave a message on the doctor's phone if he is raging, or saying weird things?</p><p></p><p>I'm going to make enquiries and see if any others IN AUSTRALIA can tell me what you can do to get the help you need. I know they referred you elsewhere but have you rung Westmead to ask their advice? If you ring while you have interesting sound effects in the background it might help. At least they are better equipped for inpatient assessment in an emergency.</p><p></p><p>Getting some sort of record of what is happening SHOULD result in a hospital stay, in my opinion, but I really don't know. This is appalling. But your situation has been appalling for ages already.</p><p></p><p>I'll ask around and get back to you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 28171, member: 1991"] I'm copying this to my daughter to see if she can answer the question, "Why isn't he in hospital?" I'm afraid there may be two possible answers, concurrent: 1) This is Australia, folks. They don't put kids in hospital lightly. I agree, it's where he should be but we have a health system currently in crisis. Plus, he's an angel for the psychiatric people so they're not seeing how bad it is. They have to take the mother's word for it. Which brings us to 2) Paula, you're a single mum trying to cope and clearly you're stressed, you're uptight, you're constantly tense and definitely not coping (hey, I wonder why? ;}). This is what THEY see and they don't see the chicken/egg scenario. It's easier to assume it's the single mother who's not coping, rather than a child needing hospitalisation. After all, if they hospitalise the child without good cause (in hindsight) then they're in BIG trouble with HIC (Health Insurance Commission) for overservicing. I was talking to another single mother tonight, who has had HUGE problems with her daughter, who has only JUST been diagnosed, after at least four years of looking for answers, with the worst form of juvenile sleep apnoea that the doctor has seen. This kid could DIE and it's taken them years, because it was easier to assume it was bad parenting. In four years of school this kid has attended barely a single term in total, because her mother simply can't wake her. So they have dealt with it by calling in the truant officer. This isn't truancy, it's medical. And after four years the doctors are finally panicking and no longer blaming the mother for being a single, working-class parent. The mother plans to write a book on it. I said she should get input from other mothers in a similar situation. This is wrong and happens far too often. Paula, I really don't know what you can do other than what you ARE doing. If you could get a camera to record any of this it would be very helpful, but I don't know if you could manage this with his destructiveness. He's also very smart. Even a tape recorder would be something. Can you ring and leave a message on the doctor's phone if he is raging, or saying weird things? I'm going to make enquiries and see if any others IN AUSTRALIA can tell me what you can do to get the help you need. I know they referred you elsewhere but have you rung Westmead to ask their advice? If you ring while you have interesting sound effects in the background it might help. At least they are better equipped for inpatient assessment in an emergency. Getting some sort of record of what is happening SHOULD result in a hospital stay, in my opinion, but I really don't know. This is appalling. But your situation has been appalling for ages already. I'll ask around and get back to you. Marg [/QUOTE]
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