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Substance Abuse
difficult child has moved out, cordially but for keeps (long update)
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 617701" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Sig your post made me so sad. I know how much you wanted him to do well in school and build a good life. I know you gave him chances and you were supportive and understanding even in the most trying situations. I know how heartbroken you are that he is throwing away the wonderful opportunity that you and your husband have given him and all your children. I know how worried you are about his future and the panic you must feel thinking that he is making a huge mistake that he may never be able to recover from.</p><p></p><p>I know all of this so well because it is exactly how I felt and still do about my difficult child's situation. We also gave her two opportunities to go to college and she threw both of them away. I was sick with worry about how she would make a living and the difficult life she was making for herself. She is now living with her boyfriend and his 5 year old daughter and they have no money. She works in a dog daycare and makes minimum wage and only gets about 30 hours. The boyfriend doesn't even have a license, having lost it years ago in a DUI and can't afford the fines to get it back. He has no credit and collectors are after him everywhere. They will never even be able to rent a house or buy a car. It makes me sick to know that she gave up all the opportunities we were willing to give her.</p><p></p><p>All we can do as parents Sig is to do what you did, wish him well, tell him that you love him and will always love him and that he has a home to come to. Keeping the communication open is most important. I learned that. We have a good communication with difficult child, we have her over for dinner, pack up some groceries, put gas in her car, and wipe a tear as she leaves.</p><p></p><p>So at least now you don't have to wonder anymore. He has made his choice and hopefully some day he will be ready to ask for help but in the meantime just keep the light on in the window.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 617701, member: 59"] Sig your post made me so sad. I know how much you wanted him to do well in school and build a good life. I know you gave him chances and you were supportive and understanding even in the most trying situations. I know how heartbroken you are that he is throwing away the wonderful opportunity that you and your husband have given him and all your children. I know how worried you are about his future and the panic you must feel thinking that he is making a huge mistake that he may never be able to recover from. I know all of this so well because it is exactly how I felt and still do about my difficult child's situation. We also gave her two opportunities to go to college and she threw both of them away. I was sick with worry about how she would make a living and the difficult life she was making for herself. She is now living with her boyfriend and his 5 year old daughter and they have no money. She works in a dog daycare and makes minimum wage and only gets about 30 hours. The boyfriend doesn't even have a license, having lost it years ago in a DUI and can't afford the fines to get it back. He has no credit and collectors are after him everywhere. They will never even be able to rent a house or buy a car. It makes me sick to know that she gave up all the opportunities we were willing to give her. All we can do as parents Sig is to do what you did, wish him well, tell him that you love him and will always love him and that he has a home to come to. Keeping the communication open is most important. I learned that. We have a good communication with difficult child, we have her over for dinner, pack up some groceries, put gas in her car, and wipe a tear as she leaves. So at least now you don't have to wonder anymore. He has made his choice and hopefully some day he will be ready to ask for help but in the meantime just keep the light on in the window. Hugs, Nancy [/QUOTE]
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difficult child has moved out, cordially but for keeps (long update)
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