difficult child hasn't called yet!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hope1990, Nov 5, 2007.

  1. hope1990

    hope1990 New Member

    It has been 10 days since difficult child was taken away after court to serve his 1-2 yr sentence. He hasn't called me. I had gotten him a phone card when he was at county, he never called then either. According to his girlfriend he didn't have my new cell phone# and didn't want to call the house in case his little sis picked up. Probably his dad too, as husband has not talked about(or to difficult child for longer) difficult child since Aug. and was all over my case about him. He didn't go to court with us and hasn't asked either. difficult child's girlfriend said he was moved to state penn in the last few days.

    I am beside myself with worry, anger, confusion, dismay. I don't know who I am anymore. I pray he is ok and that he will mature and that he wants better for himself then this.

    Right now I don't feel good, physically, emotionally, spiritually. LIfe stinks, the holidays are here and I hate living in a small town. I am trying, I am just so tired.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope that your difficult child will come to his senses and contact you to keep that connection alive. Is there any way that you can get away for any of the holidays? I always want to, but I just don't have the nerve. It would like admitting that my family just isn't what I would like it to be and I don't care.

    {{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}}
  3. NOLA

    NOLA New Member

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I know it must be extremely painful. My difficult child has run away (it's been over 2 months now) and he has called only a few times & only for a few short mins just to tell us he's fine!

    I too am feeling at the end of my rope every which way - it's a struggle to get through each day. I just hope God will not give us anything that we can't handle-hang in there-you will be in my prayers.
  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I know there are no words that can make you feel better. He probably is afraid husband or his sister will answer. Have you tried writing him. Maybe a letter would be better at this point. Then he address one back to you and not have to worry about who answers.
    I would give that a try. Let him know you are thinking of him and you love him.

    I'm sure the holidays won't be easy this year, but do whatever it takes to get through them. You are strong! You can do this!
  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    Can you call the 'system' to inquire into his wear abouts? or just see how he is doing?

    I'm sorry. It would be so difficult to wait and wait and wait for word from him. :rolleyes:
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    there is a site on the internet called Prison inmate locator for each state. for us it is the PA Inmate Locator. then I type in ant's dept of corrections number and it tells where he is. if you dont know the number you can type in his name and birthdate.

    I only heard from ant once.

    I am surprised that a calling card was allowed, in our county jails they are forbidden and inmates can only call collect a few times then you must put money on a telephone service acct.

    they cannot call cell phones collect.

    try this place

    once they are in state pens here they can call collect a few times then must get state issued pre paid cards purchased only from inside the prison.
    ask the girlfriend what prison he is in.

    I was told by camp hill prison where ant is to be now -not sure but the locator says he is there???
    that I would not hear from him for at least a week as they are locked up for the first week there with no phone access.
    the silence is deafening.
    I am sorry and know how you feel. I dont care about thanksgiving either.
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    by the way when you do locate him, in order to write to him you must address the card properly or he wont get it. his doctor number must be on all correspondence.
    for ant I have to say:
    SCI (name of facility)
    HIS doctor NUMBER
    then the rest of the facility address

    otherwise he wont get the mail

    It was very shocking to me to type in his doctor number to the inmate locator and see his name, BD, height, skin color, and other info posted there.

    I felt bad as I know he has ridden in a closed van to prisons, arriving and waiting endless hours to be processed, no phone calls allowed, body searches, etc.

    I pray for him as I eat and when I wake and go to sleep that he be at peace, protected from harm, and not hungry or scared. nothing more I can do. I cannot visit and will not. not for a while. a long while. just looking at the prison bldgs picked on the net gives me claustrophia.

    hugs to you, fellow mother of a son in prison.
  8. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I understand too. My son has been there and may go back. I was terrified then and am terrified now. However when he was there before I didnt hear from him for 3 wweeks. He couldnt call because they were in a boot camp thing - so I called there until someone told me he was ok! I know they thought i was crazy. I understand your worry completely but he is probably I am sure ok. They have to go through so much processing, etc. Try writing him too. That always worked better. Maybe if you can call there and get someone to relay a message to him. I just prayed and prayed and got down on my knees so many times. I hit bottom then. There was no where to go but up - I was just glad he was still alive. There is always hope when they are still alive. Look at it that way. He will get in touch with you. :angel: