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Substance Abuse
difficult child here, needing rehab: wait till semester's out? does it work? how much is copay?
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<blockquote data-quote="stalln4x" data-source="post: 558215" data-attributes="member: 15244"><p>Nancy, I wrote a big, long reply last night and then my internet was out by the time I clicked submit so i lost it (my parents house has the wifi shut off around 11:30). It might be better to disregard that post and in the reply that and i was actually going to ask you, since you're a moderator, if it would be okay to delete my previous post on this thread before this one that I did on my phone--I didn't communicate at all what I meant to and it looks like someone else entirely wrote it. Deleting it would make this thread not make sense and make you look like you were being mean to someone who was asking for help though.</p><p></p><p>What I meant to and should have communicated better is that I'm ready to be 100% done with substances, but I haven't been able to do it so far. Toughlovin's comment on the thought process skirts the issue, but honestly I'm not sure my last post is even that relevant. Suffice it to say that what I meant is that I'm an addict, I want to quit once and for all, and I'm hoping the drastic, intensive step of rehab would be what it takes to help me one and for all accept the fact that I can't use, period. Even in moderation. Signoria is exactly right that I, at once point, could balance substance abuse and school but I got cocky and into more (And more into) drugs. This is the poisonous fact that my addict mind is holding onto but I'm at the point where at a logical, human level, I know that it's never going to work and that it wouldn't enrich my life even if I could. It must be hard to understand and sound like I'm talking about contradictions or two different people. I do want to go to rehab and yes, I have the reservations that everyone has (what to do about my job, school, the stigma, the cost). I should have just focused on my initial questions rather than get into that stream-of-counsciousness-from-a-smartphone.</p><p></p><p>I'm not at all talking about talking my way out of rehab or anything. I want this. I do have one more issue I need to address but maybe I should make a new topic for that, and it's that I [STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPIDLY] offered 'wanting to go to rehab to avoid school this semester' as my reason/rational for using again when it came to light at the very beginning of this semester. This was one of those "How do you tell if an addict's lying? His mouth's moving." things where I've become a chameleon and will just say whatever might or could explain something, whether it's true or even relevant and this is something else I want to change. But after my addicted self said that, I'm afraid they'll equate "rehab" with "Stall wants a nice vacation". I'm thinking about having my psychiatrist ask them or bring it up, as he's mentioned it before. There's a CSW/CSAC-II at my psychiatrists office who I've met in passing that maybe I could have bring it up with them, but I'm not sure. And this whole semester they've been making me stay with one of them them at a hotel in the college town so they could make sure I couldn't use, but I've been blasted this whole time anyway and I think I clogged the hotel toilet flushing mini liquor bottles last week so I'm mortified to even go back to that hotel today. I really had no desire to g o to rehab when I said I was just trying to get out of school (which I normally love when my parents don't pick out my classes so that I'm only taking things I hate), and that wasn't my reason for doing drugs or I, well, probably wouldn't have been on a huge, subtle bender most of the time since.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="stalln4x, post: 558215, member: 15244"] Nancy, I wrote a big, long reply last night and then my internet was out by the time I clicked submit so i lost it (my parents house has the wifi shut off around 11:30). It might be better to disregard that post and in the reply that and i was actually going to ask you, since you're a moderator, if it would be okay to delete my previous post on this thread before this one that I did on my phone--I didn't communicate at all what I meant to and it looks like someone else entirely wrote it. Deleting it would make this thread not make sense and make you look like you were being mean to someone who was asking for help though. What I meant to and should have communicated better is that I'm ready to be 100% done with substances, but I haven't been able to do it so far. Toughlovin's comment on the thought process skirts the issue, but honestly I'm not sure my last post is even that relevant. Suffice it to say that what I meant is that I'm an addict, I want to quit once and for all, and I'm hoping the drastic, intensive step of rehab would be what it takes to help me one and for all accept the fact that I can't use, period. Even in moderation. Signoria is exactly right that I, at once point, could balance substance abuse and school but I got cocky and into more (And more into) drugs. This is the poisonous fact that my addict mind is holding onto but I'm at the point where at a logical, human level, I know that it's never going to work and that it wouldn't enrich my life even if I could. It must be hard to understand and sound like I'm talking about contradictions or two different people. I do want to go to rehab and yes, I have the reservations that everyone has (what to do about my job, school, the stigma, the cost). I should have just focused on my initial questions rather than get into that stream-of-counsciousness-from-a-smartphone. I'm not at all talking about talking my way out of rehab or anything. I want this. I do have one more issue I need to address but maybe I should make a new topic for that, and it's that I [STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPIDLY] offered 'wanting to go to rehab to avoid school this semester' as my reason/rational for using again when it came to light at the very beginning of this semester. This was one of those "How do you tell if an addict's lying? His mouth's moving." things where I've become a chameleon and will just say whatever might or could explain something, whether it's true or even relevant and this is something else I want to change. But after my addicted self said that, I'm afraid they'll equate "rehab" with "Stall wants a nice vacation". I'm thinking about having my psychiatrist ask them or bring it up, as he's mentioned it before. There's a CSW/CSAC-II at my psychiatrists office who I've met in passing that maybe I could have bring it up with them, but I'm not sure. And this whole semester they've been making me stay with one of them them at a hotel in the college town so they could make sure I couldn't use, but I've been blasted this whole time anyway and I think I clogged the hotel toilet flushing mini liquor bottles last week so I'm mortified to even go back to that hotel today. I really had no desire to g o to rehab when I said I was just trying to get out of school (which I normally love when my parents don't pick out my classes so that I'm only taking things I hate), and that wasn't my reason for doing drugs or I, well, probably wouldn't have been on a huge, subtle bender most of the time since. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child here, needing rehab: wait till semester's out? does it work? how much is copay?
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