difficult child hit by car on bike - send battle gear

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hi all,

    I am AMAZED at the cat-like reflexes of my child. Not even a month ago he was in a truck and the driver struck a tree, flipped and rolled down a mountain side. Now I get a call and he's been taken to the ER for "He wrecked his bike".

    When I finally got to talk to difficult child he said he was riding his bike to the group home and saw the car coming so cut to the other side of the road. The car bumped into the back peg on his bike and he flipped over the handlebars, down the hill and hit his head. He WALKED back to the group home. The car kept on going. Never stopped. And they KNOW who it is. Everyone does.

    So I said "Well did the doctor call the police?" No Mom
    "well did the house parents call them?"
    "No Mom, it was someone who lived over the hill." OMG you KNOW Who ran you off the road and no one has done anything about it?
    "But Mom I'm just sore, no broken bones and they're getting my medicine for pain tomorrow." WHAT?
    "Mom, Pops will probably go talk to him tomorrow"
    "OH like he did with the last drunk that wrecked with you in the vehicle. Yeah he talked to him so much the guy is having Pop fix his truck and difficult child is supposed to help and get some of the money for his trouble." THAT IS NOT TALKING TO YOUR NEIGHBORS...about wrecking a truck that someone elses kid was in.



    I called the caseworker this am and told him that I didn't make a big scene when the man offered my son a ride and wrecked. I never bothered him, sued him, confronted him, called the police or anything. BUT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD LOVE IS AT AN END. When you hit a child with a car? It's time to stop loving thy neighbor and get serious about calling the police.

    I told the caseworker that I seriously do not like where he is at anymore, but if I complain too loudly he'll be sent back home. I said "HOW in a body bag?" This is it. I think the "we have no fences to keep you", mentality is not working anymore. These boys are staying out all night at friends homes, during school nights and that's not what I was told. When difficult child called me HE was the only one at the group home - everyone else had plans and would be out all night. THIS is NOT SUPERVISION.

    Thanks for listening to me rant. No I'm not letting him come home, but the school isn't working for him either and the new teacher of the GED class want to ship him to adult ed 20 miles away "for better classes" OH BS - you want him out of your class because you are a young teacher and don't know how to handle this. Get your experience on someone elses ED kid. What did she think this was going to be? Cupcakes and paperbag puppets? Idgit.
    Isn't anyone giving new SpED teachers a "looksee" into what they are getting into before they start teaching a class they can't possibly handle? difficult child's are not for the weak of spirit, heart, or mind.

    Okay Rant over.
     
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    OK, this never ever happens, but I am at a loss for words.

    It makes me wonder what is going on there that you DON'T know about.
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How so very frustrating. What on earth do they think they are there for? Aren't they getting paid?

    Geesh, I hope difficult child is healed quick and not in need of pain medications for long.
     
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    BBK MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY - it's like difficult child's gone WILD.
    BWEND - Thanks for the well wishes.
     
  5. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    OMG Star! It sounds like something out of a Charles Dickens novel! Are these people making money off of these kids that they're supposed to be responsible for? It would make me wonder too what other things have happened that you don't know about!

    Can you not call their local police department and report this yourself? It's HIT AND RUN, for Pete's sake! Last I heard, that's illegal pretty much everywhere!
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh Star, I hope no long term damage shows up. This can be very dangerous! I think this group home is more like a group party. Is he living in Animal House with Jim Belushi running the place??? Can you try to get him into another place? This is nuts.

    At the very least INSIST on a police report even if you have to call their police to get them to come out.

    What is this teaching our StarDude? That it is OK to hit someone with a car and leave??

    Hugs and I hope you can find a solution.

    Susie
     
  7. KFld

    KFld New Member

    All I can say is UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
     
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I find it very odd that the didn't call the police. I have to wonder if they are hiding something and don't want the police there for a reason.
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I think the "reason" the police were not called is because this is a small town and the place they are running according to other investigations is pretty much hanging on a thread to stay there not because the people have a bad rep. but the boys they keep do. So they try not to rock the boat.

    My question to the caseworker was - WHERE is the police report. (thanks for that thought)

    I said - I realize they don't want to rock the boat but my son has almost been killed TWICE in less than 2 months. WHAT THE HECK?

    He said (caseworker) he will check into it and find out. Legally they are his guardians and I want to get the entire story before I go WARRIOR MOM on their plan.

    -and yes...THIS is teaching difficult child that you can get out of wrecking a truck and nearly killing someone AND hitting them with a car.

    BOLOGNA - I'm fired up like a jack o lantern.
     
  10. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    OH my ***!!! I think my head fell off for a second and climbed back on. What is with people? Why is we are the only ones that see the problem? Sorry but when it comes to the kids I am a major boat rocker. Hang in there.

    Sending you good hugs and getting out my ouija board to help figure out what these folks are thinking.

    Beth
     
  11. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Star,

    This is absolutely pathetic!!! Like the others already said, I believe a police report is absolutely necessary!!! I'm glad you asked the caseworker about it.

    I think you're smart to get the entire story before showing them what you're made of. :warrior: However, I wouldn't give them too long to respond!!! :grrr:

    I'm keeping difficult child in my thoughts and prayers that he isn't seriously hurt and mends quickly...

    Please update when you can. It's hard to believe that these are even semi-intelligent people taking care of your difficult child!!! :grrr: WFEN
     
  12. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    :smile: :surprise: :faint: :smile:

    Unbelievable.
     
  13. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh Star,

    I have to admire your restraint 'cuz I'd have limped fiercely down there and seriously gone ballistic on the whole doggone town.

    I'm beginning to possibly recognize an attitude shift for our almost adult difficult children when it comes to placements and professionals involved... seems more and more to be a holding tank before the real (adult) fun starts. And it sure does feel like a catch-22 because these men/children need more than ever to be held accountable and to see others taking responsibility for choices - it's the last long lap before they're off on their own - but at the same time we cannot possibly hold them accountable while they're living at home because they'll force our early demise one way or another. Our boys are off doing whatever they're doing without supervision... sheesh, after all these years, I was really expecting a stronger finish, you know?

    I am deeply relieved to hear your boy has feline reflexes, bless his heart. Hope he heals well.

    Get 'em, Mom.

    by the way, I personally think the deal with- education and treatment of difficult children is they throw the new teachers (and therapists and psychiatrists) in with- the kids. Those who don't run screaming into the night are keepers. Our kids weed out the wimps.
     
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Star

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have to admire your restraint 'cuz I'd have limped fiercely down there and seriously gone ballistic on the whole doggone town. </div></div>

    My sentiments exactly. :grrr:

    You want all us CD Moms to come with you to kick some serious butt?? :warrior:

    What? Are they gonna wait til difficult child is in a bodybag before they get an :censored2: clue???

    'These are not bad people' my left foot! They've got difficult children gallavanting all over the place doing God knows what at all hours, and we know of at least one of those difficult children that's been nearly killed twice already.

    Sounds like someone milking the system to me.

    Nail 'em to the wall, dear. :cigarsmoker:
     
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I told the caseworker that I seriously do not like where he is at anymore, but if I complain too loudly he'll be sent back home. I said "HOW in a body bag?" This is it. I think the "we have no fences to keep you", mentality is not working anymore. These boys are staying out all night at friends homes, during school nights and that's not what I was told. When difficult child called me HE was the only one at the group home - everyone else had plans and would be out all night. THIS is NOT SUPERVISION.


    Whoah. Are they receiving state funding? They need a surprise visit by an official.
    So sorry about difficult child. Both for the bike/car accident and the excuse for a group home.


    :nonono:
     
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911



    Terry - You betcha someone is going to get a surprise visit,GREAT IDEA and yes they are being funded by the state.

    Daisy - Thank you for the offer, but I just want to change what's going on, not make them have a heart attack. Can you see all the warrior moms showing up, arms folded, tapping a hipped out toe? ROF...

    Thanks but this time I'm going to wait () long and then call someone in the office of the caseworker. It think they know it's not working out at all. Not for my kid anyway.

    Alas...just when I had closed my eyes and had a small wee dream of a semi-normal life. NEVER UNDERSTIMATE A difficult child.

    Thanks all -
     
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Star,

    Before you rock the caseworker's boat it might be a good idea to find out who his boss is. And his boss's boss. Start at the TOP if the caseworker is still being an idiot.

    Can you find out who is in charge of overseeing the group homes for your state and ask them if they are going to be liable if your son ends up in a body bag from a car wreck that the adults in charge refused to report?

    Just a thought.

    I am SO sorry you are having to endure this, and that our StarDude is hurt yet again.

    Susie
     
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Susie,

    it's a great idea - our caseworker is pretty on the ball, overburdened but good most times - and I know everyone but the caseworkers boss is a -um- he's a = left blank intentionally for personal interpretation.

    It's just ridiculous and sad when you are put in this position that your kid is SO out of control in the first place he has to be removed, but then to have this type of supervision in a place that you were told "THERE IS NO PLACE ELSE". THAT is the part that i don't believe - there is always some place else.

    I even told the caseworker yesterday "AND COMING HOME IS NOT AN OPTION". I felt like crusty toaster bits all day after saying it out loud. Once out, it sounded way worse than I had thought.

    But true.

    Sigh- No word yet.
     
  19. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi Star,
    So sorry to hear that difficult child was hurt again. Hope he heals up quickly.

    I hear your frustration. Hope caseworker is able to do something about the situation.
    hugs,
    lovemysons
     
  20. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :devil:
    Just wanted you to know I am fuming as well. This just makes me sick!

    I am not familiar with the ins and outs of the system, but he needs to get out of there, and in an appropriate placement. Somehow, someway. And I know you have the tenacity to get it done!
    :warrior:
    Sending all of my warrior mom strength your way!

    You guys are in my thoughts. Hang tough. Somehow, someway, this will get better.
     
Loading...