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difficult child Home from First Semester at College
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 570712" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Glad to see you, Weary. I sure wish I had answers for you. As you know you have to work on detachment skills but I know it's not easy. Part of your description sounds like your difficult child may have Asperger's. Has that ever been diagnosis's for him? I have a difficult child 2 who lacks the high IQ but has many of the same characteristics. I'm wondering if he is blatantly defying your requests or if he actually has a strong problem with exectutive functioning. That would explain the issue with delayed assignments and absolutely the fifty pounds of dirty laundry! </p><p></p><p>Regardless of "why" he is choosing this path if he will not accept help in improving his skills there really is not much you can do. The risky behaviors is a problem that I have not had with any of the easy child's or difficult child's but I can understand your fears. I am sorry I can't suggest anything concrete to help. I did live in fear for a number of years as a result of difficult child#1's really poor choices including substance abuse. With the help of the Board I began to detach as much as I could and to this day I repeat the Serenity Prayer at least once a day in my head. Sure enough "the dreaded call" came in at around three in the morning from his friends informing me that he had fallen off a third story balcony and landed on a sidewalk. I could hear the helicopter in the background and the sirens. It was like a long, bad horror movie <strong>but</strong> he survived brain surgery and three hospitals. So did I as his caretaker. </p><p></p><p>Why am I sharing this drawn out story? Because I know that by taking care of yourself and letting go of every aspect you can of pointless fear, you build your own physical and emotional strength so if the time comes to face a disaster you'll be better able to meet his needs. It is not easy. It is not fast. You can, however, do it. I'm sending prayers and hugs your way. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 570712, member: 35"] Glad to see you, Weary. I sure wish I had answers for you. As you know you have to work on detachment skills but I know it's not easy. Part of your description sounds like your difficult child may have Asperger's. Has that ever been diagnosis's for him? I have a difficult child 2 who lacks the high IQ but has many of the same characteristics. I'm wondering if he is blatantly defying your requests or if he actually has a strong problem with exectutive functioning. That would explain the issue with delayed assignments and absolutely the fifty pounds of dirty laundry! Regardless of "why" he is choosing this path if he will not accept help in improving his skills there really is not much you can do. The risky behaviors is a problem that I have not had with any of the easy child's or difficult child's but I can understand your fears. I am sorry I can't suggest anything concrete to help. I did live in fear for a number of years as a result of difficult child#1's really poor choices including substance abuse. With the help of the Board I began to detach as much as I could and to this day I repeat the Serenity Prayer at least once a day in my head. Sure enough "the dreaded call" came in at around three in the morning from his friends informing me that he had fallen off a third story balcony and landed on a sidewalk. I could hear the helicopter in the background and the sirens. It was like a long, bad horror movie [B]but[/B] he survived brain surgery and three hospitals. So did I as his caretaker. Why am I sharing this drawn out story? Because I know that by taking care of yourself and letting go of every aspect you can of pointless fear, you build your own physical and emotional strength so if the time comes to face a disaster you'll be better able to meet his needs. It is not easy. It is not fast. You can, however, do it. I'm sending prayers and hugs your way. DDD [/QUOTE]
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