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difficult child Home from First Semester at College
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 570713" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, ok, ok. Hollllllllllld on. Wow.</p><p></p><p>Do you think because he is 18 you have to let him do whatever he wants to do while you're footing the majority of his bills? Do you also pay for his car, his car insurance, his cell phone, etc? You ARE paying most of his college bills.</p><p></p><p>Eighteen is not a magic number. Self-supporting is the key. Your son is not an adult until he is self-supporting. Since you are paying for college, mostly, you have every right to demand that he do well in college, respect you at least to your face, and follow certain rules or else lose your financial support. I would also insist that he let you be privy to his grades. Why should you pay for college if he is flunking his classes and his greatest desire is to be a gun-toting redneck? Doesn't sound like he is college material to me...jmo. Does he have a substance abuse problem too? Did you pay his fine and for school when he got his DUI? </p><p></p><p>Everyone is different, but I wouldn't be doing things this way. If my child was goofing off in college, which is quite expensive, and was disrespecting me too...he'd be paying for his own classes. Sure, it would take him longer, but if he was serious about school he'd do it. Or he'd straighten up. in my opinion only (I have no idea if anyone else here agrees with me) it is usually a very bad idea to send a difficult child away to college. There is really very little supervision and lots of them think, "Yippee!!! Now I can do what I want!" Since difficult child's tend to be impulsive and poor at self-regulation and prone to substance abuse, I think it's best if they go to school locally and pay for as much as possible out of part-time job money. I don't think you are being a worrier. I think you are being realistic. If these very impuslive, thrill-seeking kids who lack common sense grow up, it is usually much later than the average kid and I wouldn't pay for this sort of eighteen year old to go away to school. Again JMO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 570713, member: 1550"] Ok, ok, ok. Hollllllllllld on. Wow. Do you think because he is 18 you have to let him do whatever he wants to do while you're footing the majority of his bills? Do you also pay for his car, his car insurance, his cell phone, etc? You ARE paying most of his college bills. Eighteen is not a magic number. Self-supporting is the key. Your son is not an adult until he is self-supporting. Since you are paying for college, mostly, you have every right to demand that he do well in college, respect you at least to your face, and follow certain rules or else lose your financial support. I would also insist that he let you be privy to his grades. Why should you pay for college if he is flunking his classes and his greatest desire is to be a gun-toting redneck? Doesn't sound like he is college material to me...jmo. Does he have a substance abuse problem too? Did you pay his fine and for school when he got his DUI? Everyone is different, but I wouldn't be doing things this way. If my child was goofing off in college, which is quite expensive, and was disrespecting me too...he'd be paying for his own classes. Sure, it would take him longer, but if he was serious about school he'd do it. Or he'd straighten up. in my opinion only (I have no idea if anyone else here agrees with me) it is usually a very bad idea to send a difficult child away to college. There is really very little supervision and lots of them think, "Yippee!!! Now I can do what I want!" Since difficult child's tend to be impulsive and poor at self-regulation and prone to substance abuse, I think it's best if they go to school locally and pay for as much as possible out of part-time job money. I don't think you are being a worrier. I think you are being realistic. If these very impuslive, thrill-seeking kids who lack common sense grow up, it is usually much later than the average kid and I wouldn't pay for this sort of eighteen year old to go away to school. Again JMO. [/QUOTE]
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