difficult child / hormones

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Apr 21, 2008.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    School has always been a struggle but has been better recently. Knowing difficult child has been gone an entire week, I expect him to be overwhelmed when he returns today. Expecting a not so good call or email.

    Did not expect what happened yesterday. I was going over a homework sheet he had. He lied and I knew it. Called him on it. He then bursts out crying, tells me he can't wait until he is 18 and can get out of the house, blah, blah...etc.

    I was so angry at the way he was speaking to me I reached out to smack him. He said, "oh, feel good..do it again..again".
    husband stepped in and pulled me away and yelled at me. Never mentioning how difficult child speaks to me. Believe he gets it from husband.

    Later I was wondering if this was from the past week and funeral of my mother. He was very good their. Then noticed today...his NOSE is growing. I remember easy child when his nose grew. Isn't this a sign of puberty?

    Again tonight another argument about school work. husband of course always takes difficult child side. Even though he disrespects me and lies right to my face. husband left the house as I was preparing for work. I left near midnight and difficult child was home alone, still awake, crying. He asked if he did good at school if all this could be avoided.

    I told him I will NOT tolerate disrespect and I will NOT tolerate lies. I took his cell phone, and xbox360 power supply. husband never gives consequences, although he thinks difficult child would never do anything wrong.

    Nothing like kicking me when I am down.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kjs,
    I wouldn't be surprised if he were going through puberty. I'm sorry husband doesn't support you and always takes difficult child's side. It's bad enough dealing with a difficult child and then not to be supported. I'm sorry difficult child was such a pita! easy child (who is again bordering on being a difficult child) lied about school work and her cell phone this week and then was so nasty to me when I called her on it-don't know if it's typical teen or not but I can relate to that part of what you are going through with difficult child. Gentle hugs.
     
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    K,

    I think you need to add up the small stuff to make the big picture. You had another post about difficult child's quitting the concerta because it made him sad.

    Perhaps his anxiety level is pretty high right now. You may be engaging a little too much. When the two of you get to a point where he is yelling and you are smacking, absolutely nothing is accomplished but anger and resentment. There is not teaching, no helping, no healing.

    Puberty is definately something to consider given his age. My difficult child is about the same age and it is definately here!

    I'm thinking a trip to difficult child's therapist or psychiatrist is in order. He may need to get a handle on his anxiety or depression before he can move forward and make some progress.

    Hugs,
    Sharon
     
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    K,

    It's difficult to not be supported or on the same page with your spouse. It's important, with a difficult child especially, to have a game plan in place & both of you in on it. difficult child knows he can triagulate the both of you - ugly ugly ugly.

    Having said that, I agree with Sharon (LDM) about walking away when emotions get to the level. I do it often with kt. I know when she is at the level of anxiety there will be no reaching her. It's time to either redirect, if possible, or walk away. And I do walk away.

    Sounds like difficult child may need a tweak in medications or a visit with therapist. A funeral is a difficult situation for anybody - throw in GFGdom....well.

    Hope this is a better week for you all.

    (((hugs)))
     
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