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difficult child husband
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 468228" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>((((HUGS)))) OY! Sounds much like mine.</p><p></p><p>Did I read correctly? Pretty much he makes the money and you pay all the bills? If that's correct, STOP THAT NOW. Well, not exactly, but you really have to modify it. One of my biggest regrets in my marriage was thinking that I had all the power because husband turned his paycheck over to me. WRONG! He always insisted that since he made the money, he was "entitled" to stuff, but since he had absolutely zero concept of what our bills were, or grocery expenses were, well, he was just clueless. I did try getting him involved, but he didn't want to. See, that was his MO. If he didn't know how bad it was, he didn't have to act responsibly.</p><p></p><p>So, my advice is to make sure he does not have access to any of your CC or web accounts. Do not store your passwords in the browser. Make sure they must be typed each and every time. Start making spreadsheets of the weekly/monthly bills, and show them to him. Doesn't matter if he's not interested. You put it together and show him what is left at the end of each week/month. Leave those lying around where he smokes (hopefully outside). If he has credit cards that are only in his name, make him make his own payments on them. If at all possible have 3 checking accounts - his, hers, and ours. Ours is used to pay all the bills and any large purchases you decide together. His and hers are where an "allowance" to each of you goes and you can spend that money any way you wish - smokes, video games, accessories, etc. You, being the awesome wifey that you are, can even concede that since <em>*he's the big strong man that makes all the money*</em> that his allowance will be bigger than yours (just make sure it's not enough to cover ALL his childish expenses.)</p><p></p><p>I so wish I had done this. I *thought* I had control, but ultimately I had none. I was constantly trying to balance the bills and his fragile yet entitled ego.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 468228, member: 11965"] ((((HUGS)))) OY! Sounds much like mine. Did I read correctly? Pretty much he makes the money and you pay all the bills? If that's correct, STOP THAT NOW. Well, not exactly, but you really have to modify it. One of my biggest regrets in my marriage was thinking that I had all the power because husband turned his paycheck over to me. WRONG! He always insisted that since he made the money, he was "entitled" to stuff, but since he had absolutely zero concept of what our bills were, or grocery expenses were, well, he was just clueless. I did try getting him involved, but he didn't want to. See, that was his MO. If he didn't know how bad it was, he didn't have to act responsibly. So, my advice is to make sure he does not have access to any of your CC or web accounts. Do not store your passwords in the browser. Make sure they must be typed each and every time. Start making spreadsheets of the weekly/monthly bills, and show them to him. Doesn't matter if he's not interested. You put it together and show him what is left at the end of each week/month. Leave those lying around where he smokes (hopefully outside). If he has credit cards that are only in his name, make him make his own payments on them. If at all possible have 3 checking accounts - his, hers, and ours. Ours is used to pay all the bills and any large purchases you decide together. His and hers are where an "allowance" to each of you goes and you can spend that money any way you wish - smokes, video games, accessories, etc. You, being the awesome wifey that you are, can even concede that since [I]*he's the big strong man that makes all the money*[/I] that his allowance will be bigger than yours (just make sure it's not enough to cover ALL his childish expenses.) I so wish I had done this. I *thought* I had control, but ultimately I had none. I was constantly trying to balance the bills and his fragile yet entitled ego. [/QUOTE]
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