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difficult child husband
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 468297" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'd be reversing the credit card purchase, even if I had to declare it to be fraudulent. He would get access to as much or as little money as you could afford to let him fritter away, and nothing more. If he wants more, he can go out and earn it. Bills come first. </p><p></p><p>We have had to tightly control the disability money that came in for our boys. As each one was old enough to get disability in his own right, we went into the bank together and set up an accounting system to control the money flow. The money would come in to difficult child's account on Day 1. It would take a couple of days to be certain it was in, sometimes it might be late and arrive on Day 2 or Day 3. So on Day 4, we had the bank transfer the bulk of the money to an investment account and also pay regular bills. This would leave about $50 in difficult child's card access account to last him two weeks. We discussed with him how much he should have easy access to. </p><p></p><p>The investment account we set up with two signatures needed - his, and mine.</p><p></p><p>So how this worked - as pension day was coming up, I would make him give me his card. The account was generally empty anyway, so there was no point him having the card if he couldn't spend anything. If he had the card when the money came in but before the transfers happened, difficult child would think, "Wow, I have more money than I thought," and do on a spending spree. Then the transfers would try to happen and he would get overdrawn and the bills would not get paid.</p><p></p><p>it took a few years, but difficult child 1 learned to manage his money this way. daughter in law now watched the budget but difficult child 1 is able to understand how to be careful with spending. A great improvement.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 - we have fewer controls because the bank has changed how it does business. But he is better at managing, too. We still have the transfer happen, but difficult child 3 watches the calendar and manages to keep on top of things not too badly. We don't have automatic bill paying, either, but require difficult child 3 to withdraw money to pay his own bills. For example, he repays us for his medication (because his disability includes a medication allowance).</p><p></p><p>We had a situation with easy child once. Her luggage got stolen while at a camp, and their insurance covered it. They sent a cheque in her name to help replace the stuff. She went and spent it all on designer clothes, and had no money left to also replace the stolen suitcase itself or the sleeping bag. And the amount of clothing she was able to buy was miniscule compared to what was stolen. So we made her take it all back to the shop. We went with her, explained the situation. We helped her shop thriftily and it was a valuable lesson.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 468297, member: 1991"] I'd be reversing the credit card purchase, even if I had to declare it to be fraudulent. He would get access to as much or as little money as you could afford to let him fritter away, and nothing more. If he wants more, he can go out and earn it. Bills come first. We have had to tightly control the disability money that came in for our boys. As each one was old enough to get disability in his own right, we went into the bank together and set up an accounting system to control the money flow. The money would come in to difficult child's account on Day 1. It would take a couple of days to be certain it was in, sometimes it might be late and arrive on Day 2 or Day 3. So on Day 4, we had the bank transfer the bulk of the money to an investment account and also pay regular bills. This would leave about $50 in difficult child's card access account to last him two weeks. We discussed with him how much he should have easy access to. The investment account we set up with two signatures needed - his, and mine. So how this worked - as pension day was coming up, I would make him give me his card. The account was generally empty anyway, so there was no point him having the card if he couldn't spend anything. If he had the card when the money came in but before the transfers happened, difficult child would think, "Wow, I have more money than I thought," and do on a spending spree. Then the transfers would try to happen and he would get overdrawn and the bills would not get paid. it took a few years, but difficult child 1 learned to manage his money this way. daughter in law now watched the budget but difficult child 1 is able to understand how to be careful with spending. A great improvement. difficult child 3 - we have fewer controls because the bank has changed how it does business. But he is better at managing, too. We still have the transfer happen, but difficult child 3 watches the calendar and manages to keep on top of things not too badly. We don't have automatic bill paying, either, but require difficult child 3 to withdraw money to pay his own bills. For example, he repays us for his medication (because his disability includes a medication allowance). We had a situation with easy child once. Her luggage got stolen while at a camp, and their insurance covered it. They sent a cheque in her name to help replace the stuff. She went and spent it all on designer clothes, and had no money left to also replace the stolen suitcase itself or the sleeping bag. And the amount of clothing she was able to buy was miniscule compared to what was stolen. So we made her take it all back to the shop. We went with her, explained the situation. We helped her shop thriftily and it was a valuable lesson. Marg [/QUOTE]
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