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difficult child husband
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<blockquote data-quote="ready2run" data-source="post: 468348" data-attributes="member: 11339"><p>Kiesta, you are right. maybe i do have to spell it out more clearly for him. i had my first child at 17 and have been doing the budgeting and everything on my own since i was pregnant for her and moved out on my own at 16. i don't think husband has ever had to budget anything. when he was with his ex he worked most of the time and handed over his paycheck to her. after that he just kind of floated around until we got together. </p><p>mum, i get what you're saying too. if he was an adult child of mine i would totally kick him out. believe me i have thought of leaving many times and how much easier my life would be if i did. the problem is that if i went then difficult child would stay with husband as it's his son and i don't think that's a good idea. i would also have no help at all. i mean, husband causes alot of stress and has his own problems but he is also the only help i have and i think i would have a breakdown if i couldn't at least get the bit of help i get from him. i made a commitment and i don't want to go back on that if i don't have to. sort of a 'i made my bed and now i have to lie in it' type thing, i suppose. </p><p>husband has made some improvements in the last few years. he used to pester me all the time about money and follow me around NEEDING twenty bucks here and ten bucks there all day. now he is usually pretty content with the $60/week i give him and it lasts him the week most of the time. i can send him to the bank or the store now with a list of things to get/pay and he does it where before he's cut down the payments and pocket the rest. this is in part due to my insisting on a receipt for every penny he spends and if it's not something i approve it comes out of his 'allowance'.</p><p>as for difficult child's money, that comes in my name. he is only 6 so he has control over what i do with it and no real understanding of money or how money works at this point. he is still learning his alphabet and how to count.</p><p>susiestar, i already have bad credit. i don't even know how i got a credit card. i put husband's name on my bank account with we bought our house because the house is in his name and my dad's name as i had too many outstanding student loans i can't afford to pay right now. i will think about opening another account without his name on it again. i actually have most of the money in envelopes budgeted weekly so i know i have x-amount of dollars for the first week of the month and so on. i put them somewhere i know he'll never look. i will have to think about better consequences for him when it comes to money. i just hate having to 'punish' him because i know he is going to say 'you are not my mother' and i am quite aware that i am not his mother.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ready2run, post: 468348, member: 11339"] Kiesta, you are right. maybe i do have to spell it out more clearly for him. i had my first child at 17 and have been doing the budgeting and everything on my own since i was pregnant for her and moved out on my own at 16. i don't think husband has ever had to budget anything. when he was with his ex he worked most of the time and handed over his paycheck to her. after that he just kind of floated around until we got together. mum, i get what you're saying too. if he was an adult child of mine i would totally kick him out. believe me i have thought of leaving many times and how much easier my life would be if i did. the problem is that if i went then difficult child would stay with husband as it's his son and i don't think that's a good idea. i would also have no help at all. i mean, husband causes alot of stress and has his own problems but he is also the only help i have and i think i would have a breakdown if i couldn't at least get the bit of help i get from him. i made a commitment and i don't want to go back on that if i don't have to. sort of a 'i made my bed and now i have to lie in it' type thing, i suppose. husband has made some improvements in the last few years. he used to pester me all the time about money and follow me around NEEDING twenty bucks here and ten bucks there all day. now he is usually pretty content with the $60/week i give him and it lasts him the week most of the time. i can send him to the bank or the store now with a list of things to get/pay and he does it where before he's cut down the payments and pocket the rest. this is in part due to my insisting on a receipt for every penny he spends and if it's not something i approve it comes out of his 'allowance'. as for difficult child's money, that comes in my name. he is only 6 so he has control over what i do with it and no real understanding of money or how money works at this point. he is still learning his alphabet and how to count. susiestar, i already have bad credit. i don't even know how i got a credit card. i put husband's name on my bank account with we bought our house because the house is in his name and my dad's name as i had too many outstanding student loans i can't afford to pay right now. i will think about opening another account without his name on it again. i actually have most of the money in envelopes budgeted weekly so i know i have x-amount of dollars for the first week of the month and so on. i put them somewhere i know he'll never look. i will have to think about better consequences for him when it comes to money. i just hate having to 'punish' him because i know he is going to say 'you are not my mother' and i am quite aware that i am not his mother. [/QUOTE]
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