difficult child in jail ? About bail

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Terryforvols, Mar 8, 2014.

  1. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    Thank goodness difficult child was picked up last week for violation of felony probation. She had the opportunity to go to a 90 day prog for women and moms who are addicts before turning herself in but in all her difficult child wisdom didnt go! "No ride" Amazing how she can get to a pharmacy or strange MD office without an issue!! Anyway....we told her we would notify the court officer of her whereabouts (she was out of county) if she didnt go to treatment and we did. She apparently cant figure out how the police found her????? When she is transfered to the county where the warrant was issued in TX and gets a court app lawyer she can request bail (terrified face)! I emailed her court officer to see if the DA or court can request no bail. Does anyone know if that is possible? She has no where to live no family there etc. She SAYS that she wants to go to a court ordered prog in TX called CTTC or something like that. She has run out of chances and it will either be just jail or treatment. Although sitting there waiting to be transferred is giving her time to think thats good and bad. She learns so many "tricks" while in jail and doesnt realize no one says she needs to act on them outside! I am so happy she is in jail and if she is given any type of bond there are all these random idiot "men" she met online who will get her out in a second! Of course they want NOTHING in return per her. That part of her story sickens me for so so many reasons her safety primarily.
    I had learned since 2009-2010 I needed to detach from her and except for 2 mos in 2012 and dec-feb now had pretty much not talked to her. husband has taken longer but we are on the same page overall. This time for some reason has been incredibly hard. She has 2 children now a 6 yo daughter and 2 yo son who adore her although GD is old enough now to know momma leaves and doesnt come back. They are with their dad who is also an ex-addict but he has a good job and really seems to have changed. The other sets of gparents are in the same city and the kids are happy. It had been almost 18 mos since we had seen them last when we saw them in feb. We get a week with them this summer when we can bring them to TN. My hardest issue is not understanding how she can love them but love drugs more. I dont know what hole she is trying to fill but it is heartbreaking esp for the 6 yo. If things dont change she is very smart and will end up resenting her momma. Punishment alone does nothing for difficult child been there done that. Whatever drives her needs to be worked on. I know believe she may be bipolar although she has only been diag as depressed and that was in 2005. I dont think she has ever been on the right medications and Rx drugs just self medicate. And...that crazy behavior of stealing lying on and on!

    Oh kathy813 I think our difficult children were separated at birth! I read your posts and think with a few details changed they are so incredibly close to the same! We are financially still recovering from difficult child too! I wld spend the rehab $ again in a second but all the $$ given from falling for all the b***. And stealing. And just plain loving her! Oh...hard learned lessons!

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  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Terry. I don't know how I missed your post! I am so sorry that you are going through all of this again. I think you are right . . . our difficult child's are almost one and the same.

    I'm glad that you can be at peace with this. I am getting there. It helps that I have broken all contact with my difficult child. They said in treatment that an addict either gets clean or one of three things happen . . . they end up institutionalized, in jail, or dead.

    So very sad.

    ~Kathy
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2014
  3. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    By your screen name I am thinking that we aren't too far apart, geographically so I am feeling a special kinship to you...:courage:

    I hope your difficult child is somewhere safe today and YOU are okay.

    Please keep us posted and I'm sorry I didn't write before now.
     
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi Terry,
    Your daughter's story is eerily similar to my own young difficult child's.
    He too has children that are going to grow up resenting him as he continues to choose drugs over love for them...so I understand.

    About "no bail"...I do think it is possible that you can speak directly to the prosecutor assigned to your daughter's case and express your reasons and concerns. We did this in regard to my oldest difficult child when he was facing either Drug Rehab Prison or straight Prison term. I told them he was addicted to Meth and needed treatment and that is what he got. Now, we were also named part victim in his case as he had stolen over 10K worth of computer equipment from my husband's client and from us so that may have made a difference...I dunno.

    I'm glad your daughter is safe right now in jail. So sad the things we are grateful for huh.

    hugs,
    LMS
     
  5. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    COM. You said we are geographically close..in same state or close neighbor state?? Vol fan? I hope not a bama or gator fan!!!....but anyone on here is good with me!!!!

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