difficult child in the psychiatric hospital

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, things did not go as well as we could have hoped. When it was time for her to go to school she tried to do the just let me stay home and catch up on work and I will go tomorrow. I would not let her, and she started with the eff you's and I want to live with a foster family, and then when I finmally got her into the car she told me she was going to run away after I dropped her off at school. And that she wouldn't be "safe" So I called the IOP program, and they felt she was trying to just manipulate but to take her to the ER. So off we went, and the social worker we got was amazing. He actually listened. I told him everything that has been going on, and how she told me on the way down there she would just tell them what they wanted and then she would just come back home. I guess they called her bluff on that one. She is very not happy right now. She wouldn't even hug me goodbye.
    We have a family session tomorrow, and I expect that to be way ugly. I am absolutely exhausted, but relieved at the same time. I will be able to rest knowing she is safe for a few days at least. And, maybe they will come to a better conclusion as to what the heck is going on with her.
    She was peeved that she had to wear scrubs and that the pants were way way to big. She had to tied them with a pair of socks. She is allowed to have pj pants to wear, but I was not going to make an extra trip down for her to have some comforts. I figure she can shower tonight and deal with the fact that she has to put the same pair of panties back on, and use their toothbrush and shampoo for a night. I don't want this to bee too easy on her. I want her to take some ownership of the situation. So she will get her stuff after our parent meeting at 10:30.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Isn't it an almost surreal feeling once you decide to "go there"... I hope they can see something but she may just be cooperative and sweet..... uggg.

    Plus nothing to do but sleep and she always does better when she sleeps. However, she will have flashlights in her face all night, so????

    If nothing else, you will get a break.... respite from the stress.

    go to be EARLY tonight!
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Oh no. She doesn't get to sleep. She has to be up at 7. They keep them busy all day long with group therapy individual therapy school work all of that. And, she has to go to bed at 9:30. And, yes it is surreal. I am so sad, and yet relieved at the same time. I felt horrible when I walked out of the hospital. and took a giant breath. I am going to bed very early. Just waiting for easy child to get home. She doesn't even know what happened yet.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    What is it with difficult child's who say they want to live with other families? They must truly think that the grass is always greener somewhere else.

    I think that you did the right thing. And I agree with you that she has to take some ownership in this. At least you get a little relief, even if it's only for a few days.
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I know. I am exhausted. We were in the behavioral ER from 11-5 when she was finally admitted. And the foster thing made the social worker chuckle a little. He said what middle class kid actually wants to go to foster care? difficult child has NO clue what foster care would be like.
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I keep telling difficult child that he has no clue how good he actually has it here.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Wow, reading your post gave me flashbacks. You did the right thing for sure. Now she can cool her heals in lockdown while you can get the respite you desperately need! Good for you, I know it's painful, but good for you...and hopefully, good for her too! Hugs for your mommy heart.
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    husband didn't come to join you at all??? What does he say about all of this?? Sorry if you had to do all of that alone! (been there done that too)

    re: sleep... I was only thinking of not doing the night electronic stuff...lol...figured she would have to get up and go in the a.m. (oh well for her)
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    husband was there through most of it. He had a Dr. appointment. during part of it. He also came home and cleaned up after the puppies. (A giant poopie mess!!) Then he got back in time for her admission. He helped answer all of the ?'s and the paperwork. And, he is going to be there for the family meeting tomorrow. He is starting to put his job at risk, and he needs it since I don't work. So, ...
    Thank you so much Jo. It was hard and easy at the same time. Does that make any sense at all? I am glad you understand. I am sure other parents wouldn't get it. She really needs to realize that I too mean what I say. I was the softie for too long. It is 8:45 and I am ready for bed. I am waiting until 9 so I can call and see how her evening group went. I kind of chuckled. She thought that it would not be too bad. Then she gets to eat hospital food.
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs* darling. Mine has also wanted another family and been in psychiatric hospital.
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I thought I would fall into bed and just pass out from exhaustion. Not so lucky. I was awake most of the night. I knew she was safe, but as weird as it sounds, she wasn't home with me. I thought I would be fine with her out of the house. And, I think I will be but last night was hard. I hope today is better.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I know. I felt the same. (((Stressed)))))
  13. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    It is hard even when you know you are doing the right thing. Way to go, though, you have demonstrated that you will do all in your power to help her get well. It may be manipulation on her part, these kids learn well how to manipulate, maybe not consciously. I think she has made progress but then tests to see if you are going to cave and go back to where things were. You've showed her that you are not going to buy it. And if the hospital discovers something that can help her, so much the better.

    All that said, it is still emotionally exhausting for you, isn't it? Take care.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Just checking in, hoping you get some sleep, and that the next family mtng goes well. I also hope it's a real wakeup call for your difficult child.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Offering some gentle hugs. Please take advantage of any down time to take care of you.
  16. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks everyone. I actually had a really nice busy day. And, I didn't have to worry about difficult child. Family meeting was bad. Really bad. But it was expected, and when it was over she asked me to help her put her clothes away and see her room. When we got down there she said "well, I really screwed up the family/safety meeting." And, I looked her right in the eyes and said "Yeah you did" It was a minute baby step but she did own that. I will write more about it in another post.
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I am trying to figure out if it is a good thing or a bad thing that the meeting went badly... They got to see her problems??? I will be interested to see how it went in your post...

    Glad you got a break still though!
  18. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. Sometimes it is do hard to do the right thing, it just is not fair