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difficult child Is Back In Prison - I just Want to Cry
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 584950" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I had a daughter who abused drugs and once she quit she told me an earful that I almost didn't want to hear. One of them was, "If you use drugs, Mom, you also sell them. It goes together." I am going to say that I think your son was not an innocent victim here. He is old enough to know exactly what he was carrying and he probably (well, at least maybe) was selling them along with the drug dealer. He wouldn't be hanging around with this drug dealer if he didn't think it was ok to sell drugs. Likely he is also taking those drugs that he was holding. in my opinion you shouldn't bail him out. He won't learn anything if you do. Sounds in my opinion like you want to get him out of it. I think your son is not naive...I think he knows exactly who he is hanging out with, what he was doing, and what the consequences could be. You say he is smart...he knows. I am not trying to be unkind. I spent many years in denial and thought my daughter was only smoking pot when in fact she was snorting ADHD pills crushed in a pillcrusher, taking coke, meth, and even trying heroin. I wouldn't allow myself to believe any of this until I saw it for myself and I never would have seen it if I hadn't come home one day early on a vacation. It is easy for us to see the best in our kids.</p><p></p><p>Your son, like my daughter, may decide to change his ways. But nobody is putting a gun to his head and making him hang out with these folks and he isn't just an innocent dupe. If you want to bail him out, that is your prerogative, but he needs to eventually face the full consequences of his bad choices or he has no motivation to change. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion you should stop feeling guilty and start feeling angry. This is JMO. Maybe others will disagree with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 584950, member: 1550"] I had a daughter who abused drugs and once she quit she told me an earful that I almost didn't want to hear. One of them was, "If you use drugs, Mom, you also sell them. It goes together." I am going to say that I think your son was not an innocent victim here. He is old enough to know exactly what he was carrying and he probably (well, at least maybe) was selling them along with the drug dealer. He wouldn't be hanging around with this drug dealer if he didn't think it was ok to sell drugs. Likely he is also taking those drugs that he was holding. in my opinion you shouldn't bail him out. He won't learn anything if you do. Sounds in my opinion like you want to get him out of it. I think your son is not naive...I think he knows exactly who he is hanging out with, what he was doing, and what the consequences could be. You say he is smart...he knows. I am not trying to be unkind. I spent many years in denial and thought my daughter was only smoking pot when in fact she was snorting ADHD pills crushed in a pillcrusher, taking coke, meth, and even trying heroin. I wouldn't allow myself to believe any of this until I saw it for myself and I never would have seen it if I hadn't come home one day early on a vacation. It is easy for us to see the best in our kids. Your son, like my daughter, may decide to change his ways. But nobody is putting a gun to his head and making him hang out with these folks and he isn't just an innocent dupe. If you want to bail him out, that is your prerogative, but he needs to eventually face the full consequences of his bad choices or he has no motivation to change. in my opinion you should stop feeling guilty and start feeling angry. This is JMO. Maybe others will disagree with me. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child Is Back In Prison - I just Want to Cry
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