difficult child is closer

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Nov 27, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    to hospitalization in my eyes. Today when he was upset he threatened to push me down the stairs again and sprain my other ankle. He didn't do it. I did tell him though that if he ever tried that again he wouldn't be able to stay living with us. I didn't say it as a threat or as a punishment. I told him that if he was going to be unsafe he would need to be somewhere where they could provide him with more help. His answer was why didn't I go so he wouldn't have to?!!:nonono:He just doesn't get it! He did manage to get through yesterday o.k. thanks to husband who ran lots of interference.

    I'm truly getting to the point, where as much as I love him, am wondering how much more of this we can deal with.
  2. aninom

    aninom New Member

    Maybe hospitalization would truly be a good thing, not just so you can remain sane and strong for him, but for his own sake as well. He needs a wake-up call that his behavior isn't OK. It really sounds like he's in denial and has lost perspective on how completely unacceptable his violence, his threats of violence, and his notion that the world must bend to his will ("why don't you go so I don't have to").

    You shouldn't have to live like this!
  3. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    I'm sorry he said that. He really doesn't get it. I'm glad your husband was there to help.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Kudos to husband, but this is getting scarey.

    Do what you must to keep yourself safe. Sending prayers.
  5. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I agree that he doesn't get it. Your physical well being doesn't click with him as important. Hope he grows to get it. Good for husband to help protect you. Hospitalization is never punishment but an alternative when difficult child's aren't doing well. You are wise to see the difference.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    What he's verbalizing sounds so out of touch for someone his age. It's like something a toddler would think, and not about someone they're supposedly attached to like a parent. I'm sorry, Sharon. I hope you can get a break, soon. And I hope someone can help him.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sharon, this sounds like he really does not have a good grasp of things. Pushing you down the stairs sounds like it is a reasonable course of action to get what he wants, in his mind anyway.

    This is a big red warning flag that the situation is ramping up to where he really hurts you. It won't be thought out as in "I am going to kill her. She won't let me and I am so mad and I want to do it so bad that I will kill her. THEN she will let me go."

    That sounds like the thinking he is starting to have. Just today he TOLD you to go, so if you stay and get hurt then it is YOUR fault.

    I heard quite a few people in Wiz psychiatric hospital say things like that. NOT in therapy, or while eavesdropping. Just things the kids would say to me or with me in the room.

    You and husband should probably start hunting for an outpatient placement very soon. I am so sorry. I know it hurts. But until his thinking can be changed, or he matures out of it, he is getting to be much too big to safely be alone with you.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank you everyone, his thinking is so strange these days. On Wednesday when we get back from out of town I will be calling the psychiatrist. We are leaving this morning for father in law's surgery which is Monday morning. We have a prn for the drives (which for him can be very difficult). Once in Michigan we have tons of support and things should be o.k. I'm guessing we may even get a break from him at some point while in Michigan.
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Have a safe drive. Let us know how it everything goes for father in law.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I'll be thinking about you. You have a lot, too much going on right now.

    Hugs, a lot of them :)
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Be safe and have a good trip.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Sharon, I am SO THERE with you!
    I am so sorry about your ankle.
  13. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    You all are in my prayers.