Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child is coming home - apparently....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 631173" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>She isn't doing this to you, she is living her own life, it doesn't have anything to do with you.</p><p></p><p>You're dealing with addiction, that is a whole different animal, you are dealing with an addict, not your precious daughter.</p><p></p><p>There are no steadfast rules for our difficult child's getting another chance. First you may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may also want to read the book, Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Stop all money going towards your daughter, do not allow ANY disrespect, have stringent rules at your home about behavior, insist she get a job, no hanging out at home watching TV all day, she has to leave the house and look for work, she has to have chores and be a viable member of the family, not stoned out on the couch, and most important there should be a move out date in the future that you are both aware of.</p><p></p><p>You can provide her a list of local shelters and food banks if she is unwilling to abide by your house rules. </p><p></p><p>She may never change, but you can. Get yourself some kind of support. Isolation is not a good thing , it can lead to depression. We are social creatures, we need connection and with our difficult child's we need truckloads of support too. Find a therapist, a support group. a 12 step group, al anon has online support I believe, but face to face support is very important. As MWM said, find a group for disabled folks............you have to focus on you now. You must learn new ways of responding to your daughter, and tools to change, getting understanding, empathy, nurturing and feeling safe in a place you can vent and emote will go along way in helping you move through all of this and come out the other side.</p><p></p><p>Welcome Where did I go wrong, I'm glad you're here with us. Keep posting it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 631173, member: 13542"] She isn't doing this to you, she is living her own life, it doesn't have anything to do with you. You're dealing with addiction, that is a whole different animal, you are dealing with an addict, not your precious daughter. There are no steadfast rules for our difficult child's getting another chance. First you may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may also want to read the book, Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Stop all money going towards your daughter, do not allow ANY disrespect, have stringent rules at your home about behavior, insist she get a job, no hanging out at home watching TV all day, she has to leave the house and look for work, she has to have chores and be a viable member of the family, not stoned out on the couch, and most important there should be a move out date in the future that you are both aware of. You can provide her a list of local shelters and food banks if she is unwilling to abide by your house rules. She may never change, but you can. Get yourself some kind of support. Isolation is not a good thing , it can lead to depression. We are social creatures, we need connection and with our difficult child's we need truckloads of support too. Find a therapist, a support group. a 12 step group, al anon has online support I believe, but face to face support is very important. As MWM said, find a group for disabled folks............you have to focus on you now. You must learn new ways of responding to your daughter, and tools to change, getting understanding, empathy, nurturing and feeling safe in a place you can vent and emote will go along way in helping you move through all of this and come out the other side. Welcome Where did I go wrong, I'm glad you're here with us. Keep posting it helps. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child is coming home - apparently....
Top