difficult child Is Demanding Respect and Other Things

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    But he doesn't feel that he should have to give respect to anyone else. Drives me CRAZY!!!! He is mean to rude to everyone in the house, especially to easy child tonight, and wound up screaming about how he is more important than easy child and should just get more respect than easy child because he is 5 years older and it's "so not fair" that I give easy child respect.

    I explained to him as calmly as I could that they both deserve respect not just from me, but from each other as well, and he wanted to hear none of it! He feels that because easy child is younger he deserves nothing and the fact that I give easy child respect just proves that I love him more. Really, that argument is getting so OLD with me!

    Then he tells me that he wants to start his homework at 8:30 pm, and that he has an hour and forty minutes of reading to do as part of his homework. Hmmmm....lets think about this. He wants to start homework at 8:30, he has over an hour of reading to do (he's supposed to read for 20 minutes a day, but he puts it all off until the last minute) and his bed time is 9:00 pm? I told him that he needs to adjust is plan because that was not going to work. So he stomps out of the room (at this point it was about 7:00) saying he would "just do everything LATER!" I just went up to his room to give him his medications and he layed down on his bed and he's SLEEPING!! I got him awake enough to swallow the medications and I asked him about homework. "I'll do it later, I said!"

    Looks like someone is going to be getting up REALLY early in the morning to get his homework done.
     
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I have explained to my kids that respect is EARNED not freely given. easy child earns respect by being respectful of everyone else. If you don't give it you aren't going to get it. I also preach the "reap what you sew" stuff. If you give negataive, you get negative. If you give positive, you get positive. People will treat you the way you treat them. That's life. I realize he's ONLY 5 but he can still start learning these "harsh realities" of life.

    As for the homework, because his ADHD medications wore off around dinner time, we had to make homework time start 1/2 hour after difficult child 1 got home. He got 1/2 hour of whatever he wanted to unwind but then he got NO privileges (tv, computer, toys, games, etc) until homework was done. I started this early so it wasn't an issue after the first year. It was just habit.

    Good luck! It IS so tiring day after day. I hear you!!!!
     
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    In all honesty, difficult child would rather go to school with his right arm chopped than have to go to school and tell his teachers that he just didn't do his homework. He got it all done.

    The therapist and I have both been pushing the "you reap what you sow" argument with difficult child and he just either doesn't get it, or just doesn't care. He complains that easy child gets treated nicer than he does and I tell him time and time again that that is because easy child is actually nice to me and I will go out of my way for him because he goes out of his way for me. difficult child? I could be l ying dead on the floor and he would step right over my body, demanding that I get up and jump because he he says I should. It's incredible how different they are.
     
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