difficult child is driving his teacher & me nuts!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by whateveryousay2007, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    I've bragged about how wonderful difficult child teacher is. She really is. But....we've decided to put him on a reward system. He has a sheet that he keeps on his desk and for every 30 minutes he stays on task & does his work he gets a smiley face. For every smiley face he gets he's allowed 5 minutes of "free time" to read special "karate" books in class.

    It worked fine for 2 days. His behavior has went from so-so to out of control. He has never been the defiant child until now. He has had the principal deal with him 4 times last week. Once this week. (he only has 2 days of school this week)

    They went out for recess. For some reason the time was cut short and difficult child decided to sit down on the playground and not come back in. Then he's gotten to where he will hide his sheet to keep me from seeing it. And when he got in trouble he pulled the "I have a headache" routine with his teacher. She told him she wasn't calling me. He does this when he knows he's done something wrong.

    So when he went to specials he goes to the office and calls me at 1:45....school lets out at 2:00. His teacher walks by the office and catches him and tells me what is going on. When I walked in to get him from school he put his head down and wouldn't look at me. Then 5 minutes later acted like everything was fine.

    He is sweet one minute and if something isn't going his way or he wants something he will turn into the most hateful, stubborn, rude & disrespectful child.

    He goes to Vandy on the 30th. What do I do until then? Call the doctor about his medications? And his inattention is absolutely horrible!
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Just some thoughts....

    Some behavior plans can put so much pressure on a child that it causes other problems -- like anxiety. Every 1/2 hour seems a lot to me. And then 5 free minutes for every good 1/2 hour. Is transitioning back and forth a problem?

    It just seems that difficult child would have to exert all his attention and energy toward being good. Even adults can't do this day in and day out. Can you imagine how you'd feel if your boss was grading you every half-hour?

    I think reward systems can be very helpful, but we found it was best to only work on two or three behaviors at a time. When one behavior was mastered, drop it and add another.

    Hang on, the 30th is almost here.
  3. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    She allows him his time at "free time"it just adds up throughout the day. I'm really at wits end here. The principal told her that when he "shuts down" and refuses to work just to let him sit there. He can make up his classwork as homework.

    He just refuses to work sometimes.
  4. I'm going crazy!!!

    I'm going crazy!!! New Member

    my son does this too where he just refuses to do any work but he has gotten better

    i think the principle actually has a good idea just let him make up his classwork at home

    if possible maybe for every 30 minutes that he refuses to do his work you can take away 10 minutes of free time and he has to do his work during those 10 minutes
  5. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    Right now the rest of the class losses recess of they don't work.
  6. KateM

    KateM Member

    I would hold off on any medication changes until after the 30th. It would be good for him to be evaluated as he is now, instead of starting any new medications and wondering about their effect on his behavior. It may not seem it now, but the 30th is really just around the corner!

    How is his behavior at home?
  7. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    Give and take. Most of the time he's pretty good. He tends to push buttons later in the day (when medications have worn off). He especially pushes buttons if we're around his Nana & Papa. He knows how to play one against the other.

    I've told them that what I say goes. He has to know that if he acts that way around you and you undermind my judgement he wins.
    He has to know that he has to mind me.

    School is trying for him. At first I thought it was just his teacher but I don't think that's it. I really think that something has triggered changes in him. Either the medications, his own body or Asperger's becoming more evident at this age. I don't know. That's why I'm excited about testing.

    I know that probably sounds horrible but I'm looking for some kind of relief just knowing what I'm dealing with. I actually brought difficult child to work with me today and he sat there quietly & drew pictures the entire time.

    He can be quite good as long as there isn't a lot of stimuli going on around him.