difficult child is friends with-two of his ex-drug buddies on FB

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Nov 6, 2012.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I was reading at the kitchen table, alone, and kept hearing the unique xylophone tune of someone sending msgs on FB, when I realized that difficult child was upstairs, and his computer was on. I turned on the screen and found that he had a ton of games on there (no surpise) including PacMan :) and it took me awhile to find the icon for FB because he had so many things going at once. Can't believe he hasn't crashed his computer.
    He refused to give us his FB info, i.e. his name, and when I asked him nicely, both times he snarled at me in that mean way that means he's hiding something. Very defensive. I came right out and asked if he was FB friends with-K the other day and thought difficult child would jump up and tackle me, he gave such a snarly response.

    While I was alone, I read through K's msgs, and he's on the computer a LOT, as is his brother. One note caught my attention, quite poignant: "Thinking about how I f-d up so many times in the past, and how many times I'll f-up in the future."
    (These brothers are the ones whose parents have both been in jail, have both done hard drugs and who lost custody, and who are living with-their grandparents, who have custody. D is definitely Aspie but only diagnosis'd ADHD, K is diagnosis'd ADHD, and the youngest brother is fully autistic and can speak only a little bit. The grandmother homeschools him.)
    D posted a funny photo of a closeup of a kid's hands, with-a game controller, totally covered in Cheetos and who-knows-what other disgusting crud, with-the statement, "You can have your controller back now." Lol.

    Question: Panda is a code name for a gang in S. America or Mexico, right? I don't know if that is why difficult child chose that as part of his screen name. It also includes the name "Thai." Is that a reference to drugs? Or maybe I'm just paranoid. At the very least, I am extremely disappointed that difficult child still thinks this sort of lingo is cool.

    FB flashed a note on his screen, that his email address was invalid and he would no longer be allowed to use FB unless he had a valid email address. He had used his ph # in lieu of an email address. Now, he's smart enough to create an email acct, but then again, if he's occupied all the time, he won't have time and FB will delete him.
    Part of me wants to confront him immediately with-husband (who is at a mtng but will be home by 8) and the other part of me wants to let this ride so I can continue to look at his FB account unnoticed. It's actually a good way to monitor him. Thinking ...
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Put a keylogger on your computer so you can keep track. Actually Thai stick is a very strong form of pot...actually it is hash but in the US, normally what people call Thai Sticks are buds of pot soaked in hash oil. I have no clue about Panda
  3. If there is nothing terribly incriminating on there right now I would hold that card close and not say anything for the time being.

    You can find out some very interesting information on FB. I have no problem with snooping because I have an untrustworthy child that needs to be snooped on. My easy child daughter - I rarely check her FB account because I don't need to but I used to check difficult child's account all the time. He blocked me from FB and changed his password but was stupid enough to leave the password for his laptop laying around. It was easy to get into his FB then because he never closes it. Now that he's out of the house the only way I can check on him is through easy child's FB account - he deleted everyone else in the family but daughter and my cousin.

    Just my 2 cents but I'd keep quiet for now. Way too good of an information source for you.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    We should not have to live our lives always having to be hyper vigilant because of our kiddos bad choices.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    husband and I agreed that we will keep the FB acct (until difficult child gets himself kicked off) and monitor him.

    Yes, Pasajes4, in a perfect world, that is true. I also wouldn't have to lock doors and keep my keys in my pocket at all times, put a lock on a 2nd fridge, and carry my cell ph with-me all the time. But I live in one of the most imperfect worlds one can live in. :(
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    P.S. Yes, difficult child keeps his FB on all the time ... that's how I got onto it and found all the info.
    He never puts things away ... clothing, food, juice, homework, doesn't close drawers or replace lids. This is one time it works to my advantage.
    It's not like we haven't tried to teach him executive functioning, sequencing, and orderliness. :(
  7. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you. Good ideas.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I did a search on thai panda, thai panda sticks, and panda sticks. There is a restaurant in CO that is named "Thai Panda" and maybe difficult child and his friend are trying to figure out how to hwa to get therel

    As for the fb page, leaving it up is exactly right, in my opinion. It gives you a window into his world that you won't get any other way.

    I hope that someday none of us have to sleep wth one eye open to keep tabs on our children.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I don't know how to choose a keystroke logger! The prices range from 29.99 - $100.
    One provides screenshots of the actual pps, plus email. Not sure if some just give it back to you in plain txt/ASCII.
    How to decide?
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you!
  13. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Janet I also want to thank you for the information.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Years and years ago I had to put a keylogger on a coworkers computer because he was chatting with Cory from work and talking to him about sex. He was also visiting gay porn sites from a government work computer. I did it without permission and could have gotten in major trouble but I did it anyway because when I found out that he had contacted Cory and started trying to lure my almost 13 year old son into talking about sex it was either that or killing the man. I had hoped that by taking what I knew to the powers that be would be enough to stop things but it wasnt. My coworker ended up becoming a supervisor and now works for the State Dept of Health and Human Services. I am convinced he was sleeping with someone in high places while I was only doing my job. Sad huh?