difficult child is gone and took some of my clothes with her! What do I do?

[Nomad]

Kudos to you for making arrangements to go to Al-Anon (Families Anonymous is also good) and activating the alarm.
Not a good idea to make threats/give ultimatimums that you are not willing to enforce. You and husband don't sound like you were on the same page with calling the credit co. It's toooo easy to get into a fight about with- your spouse over these things though. Live and learn and do your best to protect your spousal relationship. BOTH of you are strained to the MAX. Perhaps have a calm talk with- husband about it and agree on how you will proceed. husband and I have created a difficult child "boundary list." It makes things easier. ASAP (next paycheck, etc.) go out and buy yourself a GORGEOUS pair of jeans or two and be thinking about re-decorating that FORMER bedroom of difficult children.
My thought is give difficult child access to mental health services as best as you can afford them. Let the professionals carry this ball. And if she refuses to partake of these services, that is ON HER. You have done your job. PLEASE get to an Al-Anon mtg. Time to enjoy life. Run, woman, run.

 

[DDD]

You're right about protecting husband. been there done that! difficult child's don't care as much as we like to believe they do.
DDD

 

[Nancy]

I'm sorry Kathy. One of the best things I did when difficult child left the last time was to clean out her room, and I do mean clean it out. I took all the stuff off the walls and threw out all the junk and memorabilia, cleaned out drawers, left nothing under the bed. It was symbolic of takign control back and it felt good.

I'm glad you and husband are on the same page and supporting each other.

Nancy