difficult child is gone

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mog, Jul 13, 2009.

  1. mog

    mog Member

    Well the day after difficult child took off -his 2nd JPO (we call him the enforcer) came by around 11:00. difficult child had been up already but laying on the couch and I had asked him to take him medications but he said he wasn't ready to then when he saw the JPO drive up he ran to his room and pretended to be asleep -He told him to get up and come to the living room. He did and I told the enforcer that he had already been up and refused to take his medications. difficult child and JPO had "words" and difficult child told him he had no authority over him so He scheduled a meeting with "everyone" for today. I had been pushing hard to get permission with the courts to go to a church camp for a week --we all realy need a break. He is NOT being violent -it is such stupid little stuff that gets him in trouble. We went to the meeting this morning and was told that they were going to let him go to camp until his attitude with the enforcer this weekend sooooo now he can't go. They decided that it would be best if he went into a shelter for a week starting today. We were sent home to have him pack and had to go drop him off. I really hope that he gets his head together while he is gone and starts realizing that he has it made at home. Here in a month he will be the only one at home and he will have his turn to be spoiled (like he isn't already) but is he going to last to get his turn--I hope so-pray that he gets it together. easy child is glad he can't go on the trip because she had to pay money and do fund raisers but by the time difficult child heard about it after he came home the church got him a sponsor plus it gives her a longer break from him.
    I am sad but need the break and hope it helps. :sad-very:
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart. It is so hard when our kids are sent somewhere because they couldn't keep their noses clean. Hopefully he will have a horrible time and regret being taken away and sent to the shelter.

    It will also give a non-family impression of his behavior and how much he is acting out. I hope he shows ALL his tricks to the shelter staff. Their word will carry lots of weight with the PO's and court. Maybe they will send him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to get straightened out. Soon you will lose all control over him except for not letting him do things/have things in your home or while he lives with you. A trip to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) might really help him straighten out.

    I am glad you get to go to camp and that your daughter gets a longer break from him. It is hard to have a difficult child as a sibling. easy child is right to feel a little upset that she had to work to pay for the trip and difficult child's was just given to him because he is a difficult child. HE could have signed up earlier and worked to pay for it. It would irk many of us adults too. I know I would be bothered.

    I hope youcan recharge your batteries while he is gone. Be sure to do things that make you feel good. Include a book or whatever makes you happy to do and also take an mp3 player filled with your music and even maybe an audiobook or 2. Or some meditation type music with the ocean or sounds of a forest, etc...
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Whew! I can imagine.
    Use the break wisely. First, sleep. :)
    Then, do whatever you want to and can do with-o difficult child around. Work or fun, it's up to you.
    I hope this works out for difficult child, that as you said, he learns something, and also that others can see what his behavior is like outside the family.
    I'm sending lots of luck and support.
  4. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    I agree with the others -- use your break wisely. My ds has had two psychiatric hospital experiences and everyone told me to take a break, but it was so hard to come down from the hypervigilant, stressed out, anxious mode. And I never did. Looking back, I see I should have tried harder.

    Do the best you can with relaxing!

  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    A natural consequence just was dealt to him and not by you. He does not get to go to camp because he refused to take medications and decided he had more authority than the JPO. His actions. His punishment. Do NOT put this on yourself at all.

    Seriously, truly try to relax and unwind while he is there. Who knows when you will get another chance.