difficult child is in the halfway house but . . .

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Kathy813, Nov 8, 2011.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child came over to our house to get a check for the halfway house. I left her in the kitchen for a few minutes while I went to get my checkbook. After she left, I went to give our dogs their afternoon dose of Benadryl for their allergies when I realized it was missing. I asked husband if he had moved it but he said he had left it on the kitchen counter where we always do after he gave the dogs their morning dose.

    So we realized that difficult child had taken it. When I texted her that I knew that she had taken it, she denied it. However, there is no other explanation. She also became nasty in our text exchange saying that I was making it up just for an excuse to not let her move back home.

    I texted back that addicts try to turn the blame on others when they are caught doing something wrong and that I was not going to let her do that anymore and turned off the phone for the night.

    So she is there but I think she is still drug seeking and not really on the road to recovery. I guess we will pay for the halfway house for a limited time and see if she starts improving. I do know that she will not be coming back to live here and she needs to be working on being functionally independent. The halfway house does require them to get a job in 2 - 4 weeks. That would be a great first step.

    Please keep a good thought . . .
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Are you going to Alanon? It might help you thru some of this frustration.
  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, I'm so sorry this happened. Benadryl? Shaking head. It's interesting that she accused you of "making it up," vs. whining about you falsely accusing her. To me that makes it even more suspect.

    I hope the halfway house can help her get on the right track. I know this is disappointing.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Don't give her any check for anything. We sent difficult child's rent for the sober house in the mail directly to the director. If she needs anything that you are ok with buying for her, buy it and send it in the mail, do not send cash.

    She is in the sober house and she is safe.

  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was dumbfounded at why anyone would want benedryl but I was reading this thread to Billy and he said he had a friend back in HS who was addicted to both Benedryl and Robetussen. I guess there are folks who will take anything.
  6. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child takes it to help her sleep. It does knock me out, too, but I don't use it for that.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yup. Benedryl can help you sleep.

    A normal dose practically puts Nichole into a coma, no joke

    It probably is that without drugs/booze she's having issues sleeping. She may be thinking it's ok to take OTC medications because they're "safe".......or maybe not, depends.

    I think having a time limit with the halfway house is perfectly reasonable. She works the program you pay, she doesn't work the program, you don't pay. Yup. That way you're not enabling unwanted habits and behaviors.

  8. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    OK can you call the halfway house and ask them to check on the benedryl. I know benedryl sounds fairly benign .... but it can do some serious stuff if you take too much. My son overdosed on benedryl and he literally was psychotic... he was certifiably crazy. He was awake and alert but he was hallucinating and saying really crazy stuff. I had never seen him like that and figured he was either having a major brain problem or he had taken something I did not know which. We called an ambulance and the EMTS came and they saw that he was really making no sense at all.

    So it is not something to fool with. I don't think my son had any idea it would have that affect and the experience was scary for him (and for us). I think it is one of the drugs he has crossed off his list. So given this experience I am concerned that if she takes it and takes a lot she could really be in trouble... and I have no idea how a dose for a dog compares to that for a human. Seriously I think I would call the halfway house on this one, for her own safety.

  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Aw Kathy-I am so so sorry. After everything you've done for her-you are certainly entitled to a mere teaspoon of respect from her. And while I know we all understand the mechanics of why our kids act like WE are the enemy- that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

    It's unnatural to pour so much love and caring and help into someone and for them not to give anything back. Should be a give and take thing. I get it. It's awful to feel like you are giving yourself dry. {hugs}
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    When I lost insurance and had to go to the income based mental health center here, the psychiatrist wouldnt give me my normal psychiatric medications. Ticked me off to no end too. Now I understand that they do tend to see a client base that can also be on the substance abuse side because the name is Mental health and substance abuse but if you read my chart which is quite thick you will find out I dont have a substance abuse issue. Hell, drug test me! Im clean. I wont even pop for a beer. But anyway...this psychiatrist wouldnt even rx my anxiety medications, my ambien or even my normal topamax or lamictal at first. It took me arguing to get the lamictal, then I had to fight like hell to get the topamax on board because he had never heard of it being used for bipolar and god forbid he use anything he had never heard of. Then of course my dose about sent him through the roof! He never would give me klonopin...never ever. No benzo's at all. Vistaril only which is nothing to me. I just dumped it. Wouldnt give me ambien at all. Have no clue why either since I had been on it since 2001. Only gave me trazadone. That didnt work. I ended up having to take about 6 to 8 benedryl a night to get to sleep every night until I got insurance again.
  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That's the thing about addicts Kathy, what is benign to you and me is addictive to them. They look for anything that will take the edge off their symptoms. It's a slippery slope from there. The addicts in difficult child's treatment center were not even allowed to have their doctor prescribed suboxone. When difficult child was in high school I was in the grocery store when one of her druggie friends was buying several bottles of robitussin. This was before they started putting it behind the counter. I asked him why he was buying so much and he laughed and said he had a cold. I went to the office and told them not to sell it to him.

  12. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    They don't put robitussen behind the counter here!!! They put sudafed behind the counter because some substance in it is used Occupational Therapist (OT) make meth.... but robitussen is on the shelves.... and I wish to God they would put it behind the counter. I bet they will eventually.

  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I mentioned earlier that robo-tripping is presently en vogue at our HS. Ironic that the stuff tastes vile & it was always impossible to get a truly sick kid to take it when they needed it for a real cold.
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL you should talk to the manager in the store there.

  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I cant stand any cough syrup. I would rather take a pill. They make those gel caps. Much easier to swallow than that nasty liquid. I have no clue how anyone could drink bottles of that stuff. Of course, I dont understand how anyone could drink gin either...lol. That tastes like paint thinner to me. Not that I have ever tasted paint thinner..lol.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Although it's REALLY hard, I would tell myself that my daughter wasn't talking, it was her addiction. She had an illness. True, it was due to her terrible choices, but when she said horrible things to us or stole from us or lied to us...it was really the illness talking. She is clean, no longer does that anymore. by the way, the end of the lies and disrespect are good ways to know that your child is on the right track, especially the lies!