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Substance Abuse
difficult child is jail now, felony charge, please pray for him
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 507638" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>PV...Can I chime in here as a parent who has had a son who has been in and out of jail several times when he was a young adult? What I am going to say will probably sound mean and awful to you and you will think I am just the most horrible parent in the world but I am going to say it anyway.</p><p></p><p>Dont bail him out. If he is court ordered into a rehab then after he is sentenced they will transport him there. He isnt going to be hurt in jail. That is your imagination running wild. I have seen Cook County Jail on TV shows many, many times and it isnt that bad. Tony has built county jails and prisons. They arent what we imagine they are. I know we have these images of prisoners being gang raped and stabbed and beat to a pulp at every turn but if they act decent they will be fine. Cory has been fine. He has been in a fight or two but nothing major. If they are acting decent they are in general population and that is 2 to a cell and they are out in the dorms most of the day. He will have TV most likely. </p><p></p><p>I know he is going to call and beg you incessantly. He will tell you everything he thinks you want to hear. He has changed. He will never do drugs again. He will go back to school. He will go to mental health. He will drop his old friends. He will sign any contract you want him to. Anything you want. </p><p></p><p>Want to know how long that will last? One day. If that. </p><p></p><p>Now I dont know your kid or if he is a runner or not. If he is a runner, your bail could be in danger. Realize that. Whatever you put up for bail will be gone if he runs. Thankfully Cory wouldnt leave my side on a bet. He never missed a court date but if he ever did, they would revoke his bail in a second. And that meant we lost his bond. If I had put up my house or car, they could have taken it. If he had left the state to avoid prosecution, I wouldnt have a house today. The only time I bailed Cory out was when he had the money himself so I was using his money and I just had to be the one to sign. That still left me liable but I knew he wasnt going anywhere. He was too afraid. </p><p></p><p>I honestly wish I had left him in there the first time and not listened to his begging and lies about how he had changed. He only had a short sentence. That would have probably showed him something. There a ton of things I wish I had done differently so we didnt end up where we were when I had to finally lay down the law and charge him with three felonies at age 21. That was the hardest day of my life. Well..one of the hardest. Those days run together as hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 507638, member: 1514"] PV...Can I chime in here as a parent who has had a son who has been in and out of jail several times when he was a young adult? What I am going to say will probably sound mean and awful to you and you will think I am just the most horrible parent in the world but I am going to say it anyway. Dont bail him out. If he is court ordered into a rehab then after he is sentenced they will transport him there. He isnt going to be hurt in jail. That is your imagination running wild. I have seen Cook County Jail on TV shows many, many times and it isnt that bad. Tony has built county jails and prisons. They arent what we imagine they are. I know we have these images of prisoners being gang raped and stabbed and beat to a pulp at every turn but if they act decent they will be fine. Cory has been fine. He has been in a fight or two but nothing major. If they are acting decent they are in general population and that is 2 to a cell and they are out in the dorms most of the day. He will have TV most likely. I know he is going to call and beg you incessantly. He will tell you everything he thinks you want to hear. He has changed. He will never do drugs again. He will go back to school. He will go to mental health. He will drop his old friends. He will sign any contract you want him to. Anything you want. Want to know how long that will last? One day. If that. Now I dont know your kid or if he is a runner or not. If he is a runner, your bail could be in danger. Realize that. Whatever you put up for bail will be gone if he runs. Thankfully Cory wouldnt leave my side on a bet. He never missed a court date but if he ever did, they would revoke his bail in a second. And that meant we lost his bond. If I had put up my house or car, they could have taken it. If he had left the state to avoid prosecution, I wouldnt have a house today. The only time I bailed Cory out was when he had the money himself so I was using his money and I just had to be the one to sign. That still left me liable but I knew he wasnt going anywhere. He was too afraid. I honestly wish I had left him in there the first time and not listened to his begging and lies about how he had changed. He only had a short sentence. That would have probably showed him something. There a ton of things I wish I had done differently so we didnt end up where we were when I had to finally lay down the law and charge him with three felonies at age 21. That was the hardest day of my life. Well..one of the hardest. Those days run together as hard. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is jail now, felony charge, please pray for him
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