difficult child is still not home-prayers needed

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by exhausted, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    She has been gone since Friday afternoon. She took $15.00 and we smelled weed in our home. This a clear boundary we have set. She ran when we confronted her. I only got a surely FB reply when I tried to see if she was ok. Today was her 2nd appointment with the therapist she picked from the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC). husband and I went instead since she isn't home. Of course she had not been totally honest. She withheld info like crazy-even when he point blank asked if she had outstanding charges. In her FB reply she said she didn't even think she was going to court-probably lost the info.(delusion) She doesn't know we have a court date as of Sat. New therapist is keeping difficult child but will let her know that is only if he can meet with us(she'll have to sign a release) and report to court. Felt good to talk to him today. So much for staying out of it. He told us we could not given her situation and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). He also advised us to relax on our worry that we will have to throw her out in 2 months. I needed to hear that because I just could not see how it would end anyway but tragically. He is going to help her get to vocational rehab. He thinks she will need the support and can even have her college paid for. I had no idea. They will help her with independent living skills as well. But....she will have to work the program.

    Please pray for her safety. I am ok-not panicked-just a healthy angst.
  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest


    My heart aches for you. Am so glad your session went well.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm praying too. I like what the therapist said and he sounds like he really thinks he can help her. I know you are worried, it's so hard when they are out there and you don't know what they are doing or if they are OK.

    {{{{{Gentle hugs}}}}}
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you talked to the therapist and received good information. I am sorry for the angst, I know how that feels. You have my prayers and strong vibes that she is safe and shows up soon.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sounds like the therapist has some great ideas to help. I pray that your difficult child will work with him. by the way, I have made a complete turnaround on the idea of throwing them out to sink or swim. I have done a lot of reading on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and tough love can be one of the worst things to do. Of course, if they are stealing from your or physically abusing you then you have no choice. But if she is willing to see the therapist and work on her issues, then living at home might be the best thing for her.

  6. 92025

    92025 Member

    "I know you are worried, it's so hard when they are out there and you don't know what they are doing or if they are OK. "

    YES! I just went through 5 days of this with 14 yo difficult child(what do these letters stand for anyway?) it was awful. This will be with me the rest of my life.
  7. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    I am praying that your difficult child is safe and sound and that she comes home soon. It is such a terrible feeling when you don't know where your difficult child is or if they are safe. I know exactly how your feel, and I am sending you wishes for strength too.
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    It would help us keep track of your story if you created a signature like you see at the bottom of my post.

    Hope that helps.

  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Love and prayers honey. You've been putting on such a brave face, and I know how hard it is. Be strong, follow your intuition and your heart. {{{hugs}}}
  10. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Your therapist sounds very helpful, I'm sure you're glad you went and filled him in. That is great about the college tuition and indpendent living skills - wow! I'm sorry you're worried, but difficult child has run before and always makes it back home in a few days. Hang in there. Lots of Hugs to you.
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Prayers. You have done all that you can do.
  12. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Sending prayers!

    It sounds like the therapist was able to give you some hope and some good information - let's hope that is a "silver lining" to all these clouds.
  13. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Thank you all so much. I don't know what I would do without this place. She is still not home but I am hearing from her via FB messages. Said she would call?

    Good FA meeting but very sad. One of our mom's older son committed suicide on Tues. Oh my gosh we were all so blind sided. The person leading has 3 difficult children and lost one to drugs a few years ago-tough. Not a dry eye in the place. It was sad for her and it just brought back so many fears from last summer when difficult child tried to kill herself and was in intensive care. He did it right after his mom bailed him out of jail. We have 8 days between preliminary meeting and court-I am worried about difficult child.
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a heartbreak. I'm sure the FA meeting was very emotional. I know we all feel that what happens to one of us happens to all of us. We can all put ourselves in each others shoes. We had a very sad case in our city about nine months ago. A young man who was a star football player in college OD'd on the day he was released from rehab. His best friend and fellow football star died two months later from an OD. It happens all too often and each time all their friends think it can't happen to them...it can.

    I'm glad you at least know she is OK.

  15. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    keeping you and difficult child in my thoughts.