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General Parenting
difficult child is "the worst", again
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<blockquote data-quote="Rotsne" data-source="post: 225097" data-attributes="member: 6326"><p>Are these people professionals?</p><p></p><p>Yes adolescents have explosions. They live in the present and act in the present. The ability to plan for longterm gains are something they have to be taught.</p><p></p><p>Whenever you receive a young person in a group home, a hospital unit they come with a history you dont know. You can of course call the previous place and get some info. But shouldn't a person be allowed to start over without being judged on previous deeds?</p><p></p><p>Of course different facilities have different targetgroups. The one your child is at now, could be ill-suited to provide the treatment your child needs, but it takes management who are willing to set aside any concern about enrollment and economy.</p><p></p><p>I know some group homes here in Denmark who agrees to take whoever and then when things get wrong they are in the system and are transfered to a period of wilderness therapy or a to more structured environment. As a parent it is easier to say yes to such a transsition than taking the originally decision to send the offspring out of the home. But then it is important to remember that everytime the child changes facility you have to go through the same investigations as you did when you took, when the child left the home, because some of the more structured home are pure lockdown. I saw this story about a young women in the states and her stay in a program which is about to be a book about her travel through 3 different programs before she found peace in the 4th. I wouldn't ever allow my children to sleep in this or walk around in this, but if it presented nice enough in parent manual with words life "soft" I could be fooled.</p><p></p><p>I think that you should travel over here and talk with him without anyone around you. Even as thin as a pancake can be made it has two sides. What triggered him and could a strategy be made so he is not pushed into such a situation again. Sometime therapy can open Pandoras box by mistake when hard issues surface is to large a number.</p><p></p><p>The trust is also a twosided story. If you are a child and you are living with adult strangers you need to trust them also. Help him to adjust with your presence and give yourself peace. I feel truely caring heart for your son and pray that you can guide him towards the help. ((hug))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rotsne, post: 225097, member: 6326"] Are these people professionals? Yes adolescents have explosions. They live in the present and act in the present. The ability to plan for longterm gains are something they have to be taught. Whenever you receive a young person in a group home, a hospital unit they come with a history you dont know. You can of course call the previous place and get some info. But shouldn't a person be allowed to start over without being judged on previous deeds? Of course different facilities have different targetgroups. The one your child is at now, could be ill-suited to provide the treatment your child needs, but it takes management who are willing to set aside any concern about enrollment and economy. I know some group homes here in Denmark who agrees to take whoever and then when things get wrong they are in the system and are transfered to a period of wilderness therapy or a to more structured environment. As a parent it is easier to say yes to such a transsition than taking the originally decision to send the offspring out of the home. But then it is important to remember that everytime the child changes facility you have to go through the same investigations as you did when you took, when the child left the home, because some of the more structured home are pure lockdown. I saw this story about a young women in the states and her stay in a program which is about to be a book about her travel through 3 different programs before she found peace in the 4th. I wouldn't ever allow my children to sleep in this or walk around in this, but if it presented nice enough in parent manual with words life "soft" I could be fooled. I think that you should travel over here and talk with him without anyone around you. Even as thin as a pancake can be made it has two sides. What triggered him and could a strategy be made so he is not pushed into such a situation again. Sometime therapy can open Pandoras box by mistake when hard issues surface is to large a number. The trust is also a twosided story. If you are a child and you are living with adult strangers you need to trust them also. Help him to adjust with your presence and give yourself peace. I feel truely caring heart for your son and pray that you can guide him towards the help. ((hug)) [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is "the worst", again
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