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difficult child is truly evil....
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 627572" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I think, too, I have come to believe, actually, that one of the key problems here is this: We have offered solutions to them, instead of them finding solutions for themselves. </p><p></p><p>Anything WE come up with, is almost never going to work. I have seen this happen over and over and over again with difficult child. I have thrown dozens of solutions at him, arranged them, paid for them, called, written, personal visits, preparing the way for him to once again turn things around.</p><p></p><p>Nothing. Has. Ever. Worked. </p><p></p><p>It's because at the central core of it all, it was MY solution, not HIS. Once I even manipulated him into rehab for 30 days at a cost of $6K on my credit card. It was a very nice place to be---out in the country on a farm with a pond to fish in etc. But they talked too much about those pesky 12 steps and God and such. When we went out for the "graduation" (what a joke, for him), his peeps confronted him publicly about his incredible resistance the entire time he was there. </p><p></p><p>He was just going through the motions.</p><p></p><p>I believe firmly that if difficult child ever turns his life around, it won't be through anything I do or don't do. He has taught me that, over these years. </p><p></p><p>My hope is that I can stand down and stand back and allow him to live his own life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 627572, member: 17542"] I think, too, I have come to believe, actually, that one of the key problems here is this: We have offered solutions to them, instead of them finding solutions for themselves. Anything WE come up with, is almost never going to work. I have seen this happen over and over and over again with difficult child. I have thrown dozens of solutions at him, arranged them, paid for them, called, written, personal visits, preparing the way for him to once again turn things around. Nothing. Has. Ever. Worked. It's because at the central core of it all, it was MY solution, not HIS. Once I even manipulated him into rehab for 30 days at a cost of $6K on my credit card. It was a very nice place to be---out in the country on a farm with a pond to fish in etc. But they talked too much about those pesky 12 steps and God and such. When we went out for the "graduation" (what a joke, for him), his peeps confronted him publicly about his incredible resistance the entire time he was there. He was just going through the motions. I believe firmly that if difficult child ever turns his life around, it won't be through anything I do or don't do. He has taught me that, over these years. My hope is that I can stand down and stand back and allow him to live his own life. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is truly evil....
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